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Self Improvement

I remember when I was initially looking into a private autism assessment in a nearby city, their website had a lot of mental health tests.

I ended up doing over 10 and scoring very highly in every single one. Found it a little disheartening to be honest. Then again, we're more than the sum of our diagnoses.

As for self-improvement, I've found it all rather bitter sweet. I had hoped for bigger gains from sobriety and healthy eating and quitting caffeine. I think it's all been a slow burn as opposed to profound moments of change and improvement.

Now that my diet has settled down and I've quit the chocolate, cakes and sweets - I'm now going to try permanent intermittent fasting. See how that goes. I've lost over 20lbs in nearly 3 months. Nearing my goal weight of what I used to weigh before I started abusing alcohol for 7 years.

I think the biggest challenge with self improvement is yourself. I find I'm extremely stubborn, even towards my own health. Whilst there's a big part of me that wants to better myself, there is also a darker voice that seems to want me to destroy everything I've worked towards and descend once again into hedonism and self-destructive behaviours.

Ed
 
Doing my fire staffing regularly is certainly helping. I'm going out 5 or 6 days a week for 40-90 minutes each time. Several days a week I go out staffing twice. It's a full body work out and a mix of cardio and resistance training. The staff is heavy, and building and manipulating the momentum, along with doing tricks and rolls which use my whole body means it's great for burning calories.

The cravings for bad food are off the charts though. I honestly have to say these cravings are worse than quitting alcohol or weed. It's insane how strong they are - and every day it's there. Should be easier when I move out. Kristy still eats chocolate and cakes etc, and they're visible every single day, which makes it a struggle.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised I've dropped so much weight. I lived off cakes and sweets all my life. I'd usually skip meals and eating properly because I had such a bad sweet tooth and snacked on anything that was calorie dense and full of unnatural flavours and ingredients. Also, I never stop fidgeting - in the office it's restless legs and constant tapping of fingers on the desk or keyboard etc. I can't sit still in a chair. On the drive home it's just as much fidgeting, and when I'm at home I sit cross legged on the floor and sway pretty vigorously from left to right for 4-5 hours on weekdays when I'm in the office and 12-16 hours when I'm at home. As such, my calories burnt from fidgeting must be well into the hundreds of calories.

Quitting so much at 33-34 years old, I'm hoping I didn't do any lasting damage, and hopefully get away with doing these big changes now. Personally I think it's a miracle I never got diabetes from how I lived with my diet and excessive drinking.

This is just the start of my health kick though. When the office gym reopens, I'll be on even more new routines, regimes and cleaning up my diet even further.

Ed
 
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I remember when I was initially looking into a private autism assessment in a nearby city, their website had a lot of mental health tests.

I ended up doing over 10 and scoring very highly in every single one. Found it a little disheartening to be honest. Then again, we're more than the sum of our diagnoses.

As for self-improvement, I've found it all rather bitter sweet. I had hoped for bigger gains from sobriety and healthy eating and quitting caffeine. I think it's all been a slow burn as opposed to profound moments of change and improvement.

Now that my diet has settled down and I've quit the chocolate, cakes and sweets - I'm now going to try permanent intermittent fasting. See how that goes. I've lost over 20lbs in nearly 3 months. Nearing my goal weight of what I used to weigh before I started abusing alcohol for 7 years.

I think the biggest challenge with self improvement is yourself. I find I'm extremely stubborn, even towards my own health. Whilst there's a big part of me that wants to better myself, there is also a darker voice that seems to want me to destroy everything I've worked towards and descend once again into hedonism and self-destructive behaviours.

Ed

That is quite an accomplishment!
I think that when coming out of addiction, there are strong forces to go back into those ruts and even go further. It takes will power and discipline, in the place of temptation.

The testing that I was referring to were basic personality and other types of assessments that help me discover who I am. Has a more positive bent than testing for pathological.

It all changed for me when I figured out my enneagram number. Took me about a year to figure out, but it was the best thing for me to know.
 
I remember when I was initially looking into a private autism assessment in a nearby city, their website had a lot of mental health tests.

I ended up doing over 10 and scoring very highly in every single one. Found it a little disheartening to be honest. Then again, we're more than the sum of our diagnoses.

As for self-improvement, I've found it all rather bitter sweet. I had hoped for bigger gains from sobriety and healthy eating and quitting caffeine. I think it's all been a slow burn as opposed to profound moments of change and improvement.

Now that my diet has settled down and I've quit the chocolate, cakes and sweets - I'm now going to try permanent intermittent fasting. See how that goes. I've lost over 20lbs in nearly 3 months. Nearing my goal weight of what I used to weigh before I started abusing alcohol for 7 years.

I think the biggest challenge with self improvement is yourself. I find I'm extremely stubborn, even towards my own health. Whilst there's a big part of me that wants to better myself, there is also a darker voice that seems to want me to destroy everything I've worked towards and descend once again into hedonism and self-destructive behaviours.

Ed

It's hard to improve yourself, period! The thing I did for myself was just simply to "try". It made life a bit more relaxing. I didn't want to count calories and try to figure everything out. One advantage for me was that I'm open to food. So I just focused on eating a wider variety making sure I always included at least some vegetables and fruit during the week- even if I had to have it for a whole meal because I couldn't eat anything else. Also, my lack of understanding of processed foods before- now I try to pay more attention to that and eat those things more in moderation. Over the last 9 years, my cholesterol levels have went significantly way down. I'm hoping to get off cholesterol meds, but I am not there yet. I'm definitely on my way though.

I also try to be a bit more active. No, I don't need to try to be Superman, (but maybe I need to try to be Wonder Woman? :D )
Start with one or a few things and focus on improving that. That I think is ultimately the best approach.

I bet the Noom app that I keep seeing commercials for probably does something similar, but knows how to factor psychology into the equation well too.
 
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I remember when I was initially looking into a private autism assessment in a nearby city, their website had a lot of mental health tests.

I ended up doing over 10 and scoring very highly in every single one. Found it a little disheartening to be honest. Then again, we're more than the sum of our diagnoses.

As for self-improvement, I've found it all rather bitter sweet. I had hoped for bigger gains from sobriety and healthy eating and quitting caffeine. I think it's all been a slow burn as opposed to profound moments of change and improvement.

Now that my diet has settled down and I've quit the chocolate, cakes and sweets - I'm now going to try permanent intermittent fasting. See how that goes. I've lost over 20lbs in nearly 3 months. Nearing my goal weight of what I used to weigh before I started abusing alcohol for 7 years.

I think the biggest challenge with self improvement is yourself. I find I'm extremely stubborn, even towards my own health. Whilst there's a big part of me that wants to better myself, there is also a darker voice that seems to want me to destroy everything I've worked towards and descend once again into hedonism and self-destructive behaviours.

Ed

You might want to check out Andrew Huberman and Lex Fridman's podcasts. They do intermittent fasting. I'm trying to do this, in my own way of course! LOL. Just to eating twice a day. Andrew Huberman gets into the neuro science of what is happening in your body.
 

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