It’s been over a year since I’ve had any sexual encounter and it’s really getting to me. I hate this feeling of sexual tension and it’s getting to the point that I just want to kill myself. It’s already hard enough not having a significant other but then adding in no sexual partner at all for a major amount of time is just throwing me over the edge. I’m tired of this fight and just need it to end. I don’t even have any friends and nobody likes me. The loneliness consumes me it’s like a black hole that’s gotten a hold of me. I even tried paying for sex today and got scammed. I can’t win in any way shape or form. I’ve tried every dating app known to man and have spent so much money. I’m a lost cause at this point. I have so much love to give but nobody accepts it or gives love back. I want to be loved but actually need to be loved but I never will. I’m too much of a coward to actually end it all tho. I always think about stealing morphine from the hospital so I can go peacefully. I’d just fall asleep and never wake up again. No more pain.
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Sexual frustration
- Thread starter JoeSF4
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Damn. That’s rough.
My only advice is that sex with someone you love and who loves you back is 100x better than something you paid for. Finding love takes time and often begins with a shared interest.
Any chance you have any hobbies or talents that you could immerse yourself in? It would be a good distraction to take your mind off the calendar and potentially help you to meet ‘Mrs. Right.’
My only advice is that sex with someone you love and who loves you back is 100x better than something you paid for. Finding love takes time and often begins with a shared interest.
Any chance you have any hobbies or talents that you could immerse yourself in? It would be a good distraction to take your mind off the calendar and potentially help you to meet ‘Mrs. Right.’
Prostitution is legal in some places.
I gather you live in America?
It is, but many are unlucky in love, as they say.
24-year-olds are full of testosterone, unfortunately.
Lemon Zing
Well-Known Member
Mate, as someone who has seen countless sex workers over the years, I can only recommend you try to see one who has respect for disabled clients. There are sometimes specialist sex workers who are happy to engage with disabled people. In the UK for example, there is, or was the TLC Trust.
The urge is strong, I know.
Dude, I feel your pain.
But sadly, they don't care about you beyond receiving your cash.
The urge is strong, I know.
Dude, I feel your pain.
But sadly, they don't care about you beyond receiving your cash.
Seladon
Well-Known Member
Have you ever been a sex worker, female or male? Or become close to one as a person, outside of what they do for a living? Moved in with one? Because I have known a fair few escorts & strippers of both sexes as acquaintances and friends (ftr I am not a buyer and never would be, it's against my morals).
They often have very difficult, painful, dark and unenviable working and personal lives, mostly because their clients are usually seeking to buy sex for a reason, i.e. they are socially unpleasant at best, downright psychotic at worst. Many of these SWers also have to deal with a lot of constant stalking and harassment, both on and offline. Many more still have unhealed trauma or systemic issues such as relative or actual poverty that put them into this line of work in the first place.
Hence the standoffishness, the 'rough/toughness' and survivalist attitude, strict rules for engagement, the quick cut-offs, the higher prices, the social screening. They're just trying to get by and make their lives less grim, for the most part, without becoming a statistic along the way.
There are even undiagnosed ASD SWers who push through the pain of forced contact because they need the money and can't do other types of work--imagine being put in that position yourself, having to work as a rentboy and entertain gross, creepy, amoral or old men for a living. Would you be a happy or generous or naive person, going through that?
Would you expect a Starbucks counter girl to endure over-friendliness from a punter, pretend to be their friend, go out of her way to give personal details or show skin or kiss up to a customer for the tiny bit of change in their pocket etc.? Would you judge her as a some kind of evil wench who is personally slighting you if she didn't? When you're just there to pick up a frappe real quick, she's just there to pick up a paycheque, and you both know that?
If you're buying sex, nudes, whatever, then you're just a regular customer like any other, not a friend, not a patient, and certainly not a date. These SWers aren't selling love & companionship or free therapy, you need other less transactional relationships for that.
If they seem to flex a lot on social media, invent a glamourous lifestyle persona or do what looks to you like grifting, it's because a) like most non-SWers they use socials as a calling card/shop window to get and screen more clients without soliciting on the actual physical street (a dangerous outdated method likely to get you assaulted rather than booked), and, b) because they sometimes need to accrue goods that they can use, sell or trade instead of taking liquid cash in hand (if people like you won't tip or CashApp a fair price, they have to get something out the work). It's pure pragmatism and a response to market force
Deposits are industry standard afaik, it's for both time management and also safeguarding reasons i.e. a digital paper trail.
This reaction doesn't surprise me, nor is it unreasonable. The cheapness of sex buyers is second-to-none, and it's only got worse in this age of free online porn. Almost everyone thinks they can get something--someone--for nothing. SWers have to be ten times as vigilant as the rest of us against scammers.
As for refunds? This isn't an ASOS. The buying and selling of sex is llegal and black market for a reason. There's not buyer protection, nor should there be when the seller is the one most at risk.
Tbh I've only ever met one SWer who differs from all this, and she was an already-wealthy trust fund baby who basically wanted more spending money than Daddy (a landowning aristo) would give her-she even used to go on about being 'cash poor', despite having more assets and financial security and family wealth than most people I've ever met. What's more she didn't want a 'boring' regular job, and it seemed she had a fet for being a callgirl (or being treated like one). She had an excellent education from the best schools, and plenty of prospects. She even had an official peerage/title, she was a Lady I believe. So she was just LARPing as a SWer to feel edgy or glamorous, and was probably using the work as a dating service to find her Xtian Grey or something (she would only take other very rich attractive people as clients). She had the luxury of picking or turning down clients at her leisure, and could have quit the lifestyle and the SW any day she wanted and it wouldn't have meant she starved or became homeless, unlike all the others I've known. She is a rare strange unique case, though. Idk if she still does SW at all, probably not. Not sure I'd even count her as a proper one, as it was all just cosplay and 'fun' for her.
They often have very difficult, painful, dark and unenviable working and personal lives, mostly because their clients are usually seeking to buy sex for a reason, i.e. they are socially unpleasant at best, downright psychotic at worst. Many of these SWers also have to deal with a lot of constant stalking and harassment, both on and offline. Many more still have unhealed trauma or systemic issues such as relative or actual poverty that put them into this line of work in the first place.
Hence the standoffishness, the 'rough/toughness' and survivalist attitude, strict rules for engagement, the quick cut-offs, the higher prices, the social screening. They're just trying to get by and make their lives less grim, for the most part, without becoming a statistic along the way.
There are even undiagnosed ASD SWers who push through the pain of forced contact because they need the money and can't do other types of work--imagine being put in that position yourself, having to work as a rentboy and entertain gross, creepy, amoral or old men for a living. Would you be a happy or generous or naive person, going through that?
Would you expect a Starbucks counter girl to endure over-friendliness from a punter, pretend to be their friend, go out of her way to give personal details or show skin or kiss up to a customer for the tiny bit of change in their pocket etc.? Would you judge her as a some kind of evil wench who is personally slighting you if she didn't? When you're just there to pick up a frappe real quick, she's just there to pick up a paycheque, and you both know that?
If you're buying sex, nudes, whatever, then you're just a regular customer like any other, not a friend, not a patient, and certainly not a date. These SWers aren't selling love & companionship or free therapy, you need other less transactional relationships for that.
If they seem to flex a lot on social media, invent a glamourous lifestyle persona or do what looks to you like grifting, it's because a) like most non-SWers they use socials as a calling card/shop window to get and screen more clients without soliciting on the actual physical street (a dangerous outdated method likely to get you assaulted rather than booked), and, b) because they sometimes need to accrue goods that they can use, sell or trade instead of taking liquid cash in hand (if people like you won't tip or CashApp a fair price, they have to get something out the work). It's pure pragmatism and a response to market force
Deposits are industry standard afaik, it's for both time management and also safeguarding reasons i.e. a digital paper trail.
This reaction doesn't surprise me, nor is it unreasonable. The cheapness of sex buyers is second-to-none, and it's only got worse in this age of free online porn. Almost everyone thinks they can get something--someone--for nothing. SWers have to be ten times as vigilant as the rest of us against scammers.
As for refunds? This isn't an ASOS. The buying and selling of sex is llegal and black market for a reason. There's not buyer protection, nor should there be when the seller is the one most at risk.
Tbh I've only ever met one SWer who differs from all this, and she was an already-wealthy trust fund baby who basically wanted more spending money than Daddy (a landowning aristo) would give her-she even used to go on about being 'cash poor', despite having more assets and financial security and family wealth than most people I've ever met. What's more she didn't want a 'boring' regular job, and it seemed she had a fet for being a callgirl (or being treated like one). She had an excellent education from the best schools, and plenty of prospects. She even had an official peerage/title, she was a Lady I believe. So she was just LARPing as a SWer to feel edgy or glamorous, and was probably using the work as a dating service to find her Xtian Grey or something (she would only take other very rich attractive people as clients). She had the luxury of picking or turning down clients at her leisure, and could have quit the lifestyle and the SW any day she wanted and it wouldn't have meant she starved or became homeless, unlike all the others I've known. She is a rare strange unique case, though. Idk if she still does SW at all, probably not. Not sure I'd even count her as a proper one, as it was all just cosplay and 'fun' for her.
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Only in ten of seventeen counties within the state of Nevada. And its prohibition in remaining counties is rigidly enforced.
Ironic how much illegal prostitution still happens in Nevada in close proximity to where it's otherwise perfectly legal.
I imagine it’s due to client confidentiality.
Not really an issue given how secluded and secure most of them appear to be.
It's not like the media- or protester loiter near the premises. People seem to mind their own business in such establishments, but then it's been legal for many years. Most people don't give them a thought, except when someone affiliated with them decides to run for public office. Which draws public ire from time to time.
And from a public health perspective they must conform to local and state laws. But it likely costs more than their illegal counterpart.
Lemon Zing
Well-Known Member
They have no obligation to be nice, but being friendly can go a long way to keeping their clients in good spirits.
Just like I could be a jerk to every person I meet, I wouldn't. I believe you should treat others as you yourself would desire to be treated.
It's like any job or social situation, really. If you lose custom or people view you as unpleasant, it can hinder your other plans.
Fortunately, no woman has seen me that way yet.
Just like I could be a jerk to every person I meet, I wouldn't. I believe you should treat others as you yourself would desire to be treated.
It's like any job or social situation, really. If you lose custom or people view you as unpleasant, it can hinder your other plans.
Fortunately, no woman has seen me that way yet.
Steelbookcollector217
Well-Known Member
thats why i have no regrets paying for sex a couple of times in my life, escorts/sex workers, yes i'm aware of how controversial that service or industry is, there will always be mixed views on that. Unfortuneately reminds me on how i kinda refuse to call my last partner an ex-girlfriend.
Lemon Zing
Well-Known Member
I haven't had a girlfriend since 2022.
Her mother raged at me on Messenger for being way older than she is. But she was really nice.
This is the thing. I just never get lucky.
Her mother raged at me on Messenger for being way older than she is. But she was really nice.
This is the thing. I just never get lucky.
Distraction works incredibly well for me in stressful times, but it has taken me decades to get here.
Lemon Zing
Well-Known Member
There should be groups for things you are interested in, like chess or tennis. Find gender neutral activities to pursue. So I reckon this is a good start for most of y'all.
Steelbookcollector217
Well-Known Member
yeah, my only regret in regards to sex workers or escorts, is not visiting one while still in my 20s.
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