should I change my career path?

[Maiasaura]

Prior to diagnosis I'd been studying to work as an alcohol and drug counselor. Ive felt a calling to do it for the past decade. When I explained this to the therapist who screened me she advised that this was probably going to be too much social interaction for me, that it would wear me down too much every day and that I should really rethink where I look for work. Personally I think that being just a little disconnected emotionally could be a benefit as a counselor because in this population there is a lot of chaos. A calm and centered support person is a good thing I think. For better or worse I don't bring other 'work' home with me because of that disconnection. I genuinely care about people but just don't take on their emotional load. Never have. Stuff just doesn't bother me that way. I've been told that I'm a really good listener and I have 2 decades of experience just dealing with my own family.

Anyway-I've stopped the training process for now while I figure out if the therapist has a point or just doesn't know me very well in my outside life. Suggestions? Should I forge ahead or accept that this dream should go on the shelf? TIA

 

[Judge]

Prior to diagnosis I'd been studying to work as an alcohol and drug counselor. Ive felt a calling to do it for the past decade. When I explained this to the therapist who screened me she advised that this was probably going to be too much social interaction for me, that it would wear me down too much every day and that I should really rethink where I look for work. Personally I think that being just a little disconnected emotionally could be a benefit as a counselor because in this population there is a lot of chaos. A calm and centered support person is a good thing I think. For better or worse I don't bring other 'work' home with me because of that disconnection. I genuinely care about people but just don't take on their emotional load. Never have. Stuff just doesn't bother me that way. I've been told that I'm a really good listener and I have 2 decades of experience just dealing with my own family.

Anyway-I've stopped the training process for now while I figure out if the therapist has a point or just doesn't know me very well in my outside life. Suggestions? Should I forge ahead or accept that this dream should go on the shelf? TIA

Good question. TOUGH question, too for so many of us. One thing you'll find here is to read about the experiences of Aspies who for largely for purely survival reasons maintain jobs that are less than advantageous for those on the spectrum. In my own case, I struggled for nearly two decades in a career which became increasingly social- and marketing oriented. The stress got to me and I quit.

But that's us. In your case, with your own words I just don't see any reason to be discouraged by social interaction, provided it honestly doesn't bother you under the circumstances you've outlined. About the only thing I would caution you about is that you need to be able to "practice" such interactions under realistic circumstances so your assessment is based on practice rather than theory- or optimism.

After all, wanting certain employment can sometimes be very different from actually doing it on a daily basis.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Just do it. You'll never know unless you give it a try, right? Try to live with no regrets.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I do very, very well one-on-one, as do other aspies who are socially oriented despite our autistic minds. Unscripted conversations can be draining, so I think the question is, how much socialization is too much, and does your love for the work--"calling" is not a casual attraction--means this is actually a special interest that will sustain you in joy?

Short form: Don't take her word for it. Believe yours. Is this your calling?

 

[tachyon]

Personally I think that being just a little disconnected emotionally could be a benefit as a counselor because in this population there is a lot of chaos. A calm and centered support person is a good thing I think. For better or worse I don't bring other 'work' home with me because of that disconnection. I genuinely care about people but just don't take on their emotional load. Never have.

I can relate to that and even though I have no interest in becoming a counsellor I think I can appreciate that I might be able to do it quite well. One reason why it might not be ideal for me is that I think over a long period I would probably become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people's problems.

That said, I've never been one to listen to OP's advice. I decided at age 55 to quit I.T. become a commercial pilot
Consider it carefully, and if you do go down that path, don't think that is what you will be doing for the rest of your life - there might be some other wonderful opportunity for you to grow into 10 years from now.

Can't remember the source, but I really love this (supposedly) Buddhist saying -
"When faced with the option of two paths in life - choose the most difficult one because that's where you will learn the most"

 

[Tom]

Many good observations above.

The therapist is probably well meaning, but stereotyping and not aware of the difference between one on one and group dynamics in how they can effect autistic people. I have heard many times from others, that they do just fine with one on one, maybe even better then your average NT. Maybe in one on one our focus works to our advantage. Anyway it was always a strong point with me too. The only thing I wonder is if you have studied the full range of potential responses/behaviors you might get with this type of person. I don't know what they would be but you would have to be ready/able for worst case.

The work itself (counseling) is one thing, but as you probably know the job will entail a other duties, social interaction, stressors, etc. In some cases the other stuff is much more demanding/aggrivating then the core work. Things like bosses, co-workers, documentation requirements that take more time then your actual job, and physical environment.

That second catagory is harder to assess in advance and can vary drastically from one location to another. Onsight visits and talking with people working already in that job can be very useful.

So no, I would not automatically cancel your planned vocation based on a single therapists advice. But re-assessing it in light of your diagnosis/new self insight makes sense. After that, if you still want it, then go and get it.

 

[Etzelaire]

Do it, see if it works. If it doesn't, start over with something else. Learn as much as you can and don't quit until that's the only option.

 

[Maiasaura]

You guys are awesome and you've given me a lot to think about. The therapist herself has known me a couple of years as a parent of kids with aspergers; she screened and treated both of my boys at one time or another. Although I'm not a stranger off the street she doesn't know my other skill sets I don't think.

The usual stresses around jobs have always been hard for me but I didn't have a name for why until now. In fact from what this therapist said pretty much every job i've had except one has been full of all the things that wear an aspie down: managers who micromanage, high level of office socializing, executive function demands etc. The one job where I thrived actually was because of a manager who was totally hands off and trusted us to work independently. I only left that job because I got married and moved away. Since leaving my most recent-and to me extremely stressful- job 8 years ago to be a stay at home parent I've gone back and forth between wanting to work and being terrified to work.

One of the other things we are considering is vocational testing. There is a company on the West Coast that specializes in this. My husband is in favor of getting hard numbers for what I might be suited for. I find the idea intriguing and a little scary too.

 

[HappyHermit]

In my experience, it's a good idea to be wary of other people's judgment on what you can and cannot cope with, including so-called experts. Even my SO of 15 years has been known to be surprised.

The enthusiasm of a true calling can carry you through a lot of adversity relatively unscathed, and trudging through what may be deemed (by whomever) an 'Aspie-friendly' job can become intolerably stressful due to any number of factors - personal disinterest, management, office climate and general politics. I speak from experience on both counts.

The casting vote should only ever be yours.

And if you're uncertain, perhaps you could intern somewhere or shadow someone in the type of position you are (were) training for.

 

[Judge]

One of the other things we are considering is vocational testing. There is a company on the West Coast that specializes in this. My husband is in favor of getting hard numbers for what I might be suited for. I find the idea intriguing and a little scary too.

I went through such a program through the University of California. It was helpful, but not decisive. However the program did give me access to learning about jobs I had previously never even heard of. It turned out that I had an alleged aptitude for one in particular which I eventually became employed in and remained with for many years.

 

[Greg]

I know for me that would be too much stimulation. I would take on other peoples problems when I can hardly handle what is going on with myself.