Should I get my son evaluated?

[LittleLemon]

Ok, I know no one here can diagnose anyone, but I was curious if you would one day go ahead with an evaluation.

My 8 year old son was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder when he was 3. I'm starting to wonder if it's more than that though. He is SO social with other kids that I never thought much of it.

• He didn't talk until he was 3
• He had intense interests in things like power lines, how garbage trucks worked, and now, he is intensely interested in the sinking of the Titanic. He has so many facts memorized and he's checking out books from the library only on the subject. When I go to his room, he has about a hundred pictures he drew of the Titanic sinking. His homework assignments are all about the Titanic. He used to be obsessed with Star Wars, but went cold on it all of a sudden.
• Both him and my daughter obsessed with lining cars and other toys up when they were younger. My youngest doesn't do this and I always assumed all kids did this. I recently read that most kids don't.
• Him and his sister (who is autistic) never played with toys the way they were supposed to be played with. I always thought that was creativity, but apparently it's a huge red flag for autism.
• He is very sensitive to noises, pain, flashing lights, but only shows it around me. When he's around peers, he toughs it out.
• He IS very social, but watching him, I see that he does a perfect imitation of his friends to where I'm watching my son practically turn into this other friend. He'll copy body posture, mannerisms, and speech.
• His frustration level is similar to mine---which is 0.

So, since he's doing well in school, would it be worth putting him through the process of an evaluation or would you just watch it. He doesn't appear to be struggling, but then again, my parents assumed I was just fine and most of my struggles were very private. Do all kids at some point get completely consumed in a subject like the Titanic? I ask because it's all I've ever known, so it's not odd to me. I always thought autistic kids were very independent and didn't follow the crowd like my daughter does. Can they be also on the other side of the spectrum to where they are obsessed about fitting in? Can you have a lot of autistic traits, but not be on the spectrum?

Thoughts? Sorry if this is an inappropriate topic. This has been spinning through my mind for months.

 

[Judge]

Interesting questions.

When I was nine years old in the sixties, it seemed every kind on the block in my age group had the same common knowledge and interest in weapons of war.

I don't think it had anything to do with neurology. More likely our fathers. Who were all employed in various government posts from the military to the intelligence community in the same neighborhood in Northern Virginia.

I can only hope your son isn't on a sort of "social precipice" as I was. At around ten years old most of my peers began to become hostile to me which never stopped until college. At eleven and twelve life at school was unbearable. I somehow survived it all. Thank God there was no Internet at the time.

Sure, given all that, if he were my child I'd want to know formally.

 

[jamesaldrin]

Those do definitely look like autistic traits. I don't know if you should get him evaluated or not; I'm too young to give parenting advice.

If he's doing well socially and at school, then that's pretty good. If you think he would benefit from extra help, then that's good too, I think.

I lived a lonely first 17 years, and seeing a professional could have really helped me out. He might resist going to see someone, but he might not. I didn't resist the couple of times I was taken in elementary school, but in middle school I did the one time I was.

 

[Judge]

Look at it this way. It's a good feeling to finally discover who and what you are. But far more helpful if accomplished at an earlier age rather than much later.

 

[ksheehan88]

I am in the process of having my 8 year old daughter assessed for Aspergers, and me and my 2 year olds nursery workers believe he is also on the spectrum somewhere. My 2yo has a thing about lining things like cars up and if it isn't exactly how he wants it he screams and throws them all.

I would say, have him assessed because if he is struggling privately it could help, and as he gets older if he struggles more he knows why and you can help him find ways of coping.

I've found life very hard, but now I know I have Aspergers it all makes so much more sense and I just wish I had known when I was young so I didn't feel like I was hated and didn't fit in for nothing, there was a reason.

 

[LittleLemon]

Thank you for the replies. I wasn't sure if I was imagining things or not. He definitely has more milder symptoms than my daughter who is on the moderate range. The same Kindergarten teacher who saw it immediately in my daughter also said that her and my son are very similar in many ways. I was blind to my daughter, so I imagine I'm even more blind to him. I'm going to talk to my husband about it.

 

[Allicat]

And as Judge said, I too would want to want to know formally. It took me 7 years to get the spectrum diagnosis I knew my 12 year old son should have had early on, because his challenges are not as obvious in a 1-1, low pressure situation doing something he's comfortable with. As the academic and social demands increase as he gets older, they're becoming more apparent. Thing is, there were supports he could have gotten in school with an autism diagnosis that he was otherwise ineligible for (I'm speaking specifically of the NYS public school system).

So if you have a suspicion he might be on the spectrum, IMHO it would be better to find out sooner. Have him evaluated. And be sure to tell the evaluator the info you shared with us - for example, if he's that good at imitating someone else's social skills the evaluator might not catch a few things; if he/she knows to watch out for it before hand it could make a difference.

HTH