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Should I go for a Diagnosis?

Q

Qnil

New Member
Hello everyone,
I am a 23yr old male, for a while now I've had the feeling that I may have Asperger's, and this was always kind of an inside joke with my ex. She was pretty sure as well, and we were together for 6 years so she knew me better than just about anyone. My parents always kind of blew it off if when ever I brought the subject up, so I never thought of pursuing a diagnosis until now.

Throughout high school I was very social, but I always felt like I was just copying the people around me. I had a different personality for every person I would interact with on a regular basis. When I got home I would be so incredibly exhausted from dealing with people all day. Once college started I kind of stopped caring about what people thought about me, and became far FAR less social. And would have lost contact with pretty much all my friends if i weren't for my girlfriend at the time. Lately, social interactions have become a lot more difficult. But when talking to strangers I still find my self slipping into a "persona" (like forcing facial expressions and intonations). Then immediately after the interaction is over I feel like I slip right back out, and I'm myself again.

I don't know if this is stuff that NT people go through and I'm just a NT making up stuff that doesn't actually exist. What are your opinions?
 
Welcome to the forum. I don't believe anyone here will be qualified to answer properly so the only advice I'd give is to go and get tested by a professional.
That way you'll know one way or the other.
BTW, I can relate to the tiredness piece.
 
Yes if what you are going through is causing huge amounts of distress and is interfering with your life.
 
NOONE in here can give you the anwer on this.

Only YOU can determan if you belive this is a big enough problem in youre life that it is worth the effort to get evaluated (and then DONT get to stuck on ASD. You may or not have that or even other or multible other diagnosis or non at all )
 
Get tested. The earlier you know for sure, the more your life will make sense and the less suffering you will go through. You’ll still suffer, it will just be less because you’re aware of why certain things affect you the way they do and you can use a bit of reason and decision making to lessen any issues that arise.
 
All our comments are conjecture to be honest. None of us know you, and we can only surmise what we think would be suitable for you based on our own perspectives.

Ask yourself how reading about the spectrum made you feel. If it makes you want to learn more. Perhaps look at some of the online assessments etc.

Closure could be found on this forum, through reading about autism, online tests, or a formal diagnosis.

At the end of the day, it's up to you how you digest and utilise the information you find. Everything happens for a reason in life - and the reasoning is up to you.

Ed
 
Hi @Qnil

Welcome to the Forums

Do have a read of some of the threads in here - there is a lot of wisdom to be found in here
 
Ask yourself if you had early marker. Speech delays, difficulty communicating, not reaching some growth milesttone, ets. It's part of the requirements for diagnoses.
 
Hi and welcome. I hope you enjoy it here, people are friendly. Yes, try some online tests and see how you score. Either way you may pick up some useful information and ideas here.

:racehorse::racehorse::horseracing::racehorse::racehorse::racehorse::deciduous::evergreen:
 
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Qnil said:
Hello everyone,
I am a 23yr old male, for a while now I've had the feeling that I may have Asperger's, and this was always kind of an inside joke with my ex. She was pretty sure as well, and we were together for 6 years so she knew me better than just about anyone. My parents always kind of blew it off if when ever I brought the subject up, so I never thought of pursuing a diagnosis until now.

Throughout high school I was very social, but I always felt like I was just copying the people around me. I had a different personality for every person I would interact with on a regular basis. When I got home I would be so incredibly exhausted from dealing with people all day. Once college started I kind of stopped caring about what people thought about me, and became far FAR less social. And would have lost contact with pretty much all my friends if i weren't for my girlfriend at the time. Lately, social interactions have become a lot more difficult. But when talking to strangers I still find my self slipping into a "persona" (like forcing facial expressions and intonations). Then immediately after the interaction is over I feel like I slip right back out, and I'm myself again.

I don't know if this is stuff that NT people go through and I'm just a NT making up stuff that doesn't actually exist. What are your opinions?
Click to expand...

If you don't have insurance that covers it, it may end up costing $2,000. I recommend taking a screening test online such as the AQ test first. That will give you a good idea whether you might meet the current criteria for being on the autism spectrum. If the screening tests say it's likely, you'll have to way the pros and cons of getting an official diagnosis such as:
Will it help you get support that you'd be unable to get without a diagnosis?
Would it affect your ability to get a job? (depending on where you live, it might be helpful or hurtful)

Also, diagnosis isn't an exact science. You could set up appointments with 3 different specialists and end up being diagnosed with a different condition by each specialist.
 
Hey as others have said we can't make the decision for you but your story sounds like mine. I noticed stuff like that about myself, did research, went and got tested and turns out I am autistic and just finding out and im 29. The earlier the better I think.
 
When I was considering this, I considered whether going through the (often arduous) process would really help me and whether it was worth it or not.

Given the state of care in the US especially, I decided it wasn't worth it. I don't need benefits, they wouldn't be of much help to me. I'm getting more helpful information that I can actually use from self-identifying as autistic, studying it and talking to others in the community than I ever got from my multiple attempts at getting professional help (many of which turned out to do more harm than good and netted me a laundry list of diagnoses which didn't help anything in the end and some of which were actually harmful.)

Reading others' accounts (which are a lot different than the overly clinical and difficult to understand DSM) and thinking, repeatedly "that's what that is??? OMG that thing that happened when I was a kid makes sense now!!!!" over and over again is enough proof for me that I'm on the right track.
 
As others have said, only you can make that decision for yourself. I would recommend you read through a current thread in which the question is asked as to whether or not those that HAVE gotten an assessment and have received a diagnosis regret their decision to be assessed or are grateful for having done so.
 
Your story sounds so familiar to mine which is so often the case with folks on the spectrum. I’m 23 also and my boyfriend would also joke with me about me being autistic long before I was diagnosed.
Growing up in school I also acted differently around every person I knew (would be terrifying to have two people who knew me to be very different in the same place at the same time). I would be so tired by the end of the day I sometimes would wait for hours at school for my parents to come get me because walking home didn’t seem possible even though it was only like a mile or something. And yeah I’ve definitely stopped trying to have any friends after people stopped caring whether I had them or not. I have a persona when I have to interact with someone on a long term basis like a classmate but if I meet someone in a bar or something I’ll often be pretty comfortable and open because the risk is low with people you won’t see again. For a while I used to go to bars exclusively to have a conversation with someone without having to pretend. I’d get a beer and talk to someone for an hour or two and then leave.
I didn’t give autism much thought until about a year ago when I decided to take a test just to see and I took the autism quotient and scored very high. I didn’t think much of it because it was an internet test but it made me want to know so after a little while of reading stuff on here I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. I was lucky because there was one who specialized in diagnosing women on the spectrum in my city. Wait lists tend to be long though - or can be anyway. I had to wait about four months. Maybe you could start by calling to see how soon you could be seen. You can cancel appointments usually free of charge up to like the day before. That’s how I did it - made an appointment as a placeholder and then I had four months to change my mind. I decided to go through with it because I doubt myself a lot and just felt I needed verification. Not everyone feels the need for a professional diagnosis - you don’t need one. Obviously if you think you could use accommodations at school or think you might need disability pay sometime in the future then the argument for getting diagnosis is a bit stronger.

Personally I’ve found I can’t work (it never seems to workout) and I’ve been out of school for a few years now in part because I haven’t had a reliable place to live but also because the stress of dealing with school was so intense I felt I had to stop caring because it was like everyday felt like the end of the world or something. My brain would flip a switch and I just couldn’t be bothered to do anything past a certain point. So for me the diagnosis was more than worth it because if my living situation proves stable enough I plan to go back to school. Without a diagnosis I’m not sure I would. And also I have hope that I could be able to get disability pay if that becomes a necessity for me.
 
Folks here are responding to the question like you are asking “am I autistic?” Which is what you might expect autistic people to do because often we don’t want to say things people want to hear just to make them feel better because if you misguide someone that might be worse. I made a similar post to yours when I came here and got similar responses and didn’t know what to make of it. I just wanted someone to say “you’re just like me!” but I still knew that didn’t mean I was definitely autistic. Just wanted some validation because it can be hard to believe you are autistic at first even if it checks all the boxes because it’s not natural to go from being weird to autistic over night (mentally). So assuming you’re kind of in the same position I was in I’d take the autism quotient online first and then schedule an appointment for an evaluation.
 
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It was very helpful to me to get a diagnosis, as I had gone my entire life up to that point believing that I was broken, that something was seriously wrong with me, that I was possibly even a sociopath. Even my mother was constantly telling me my behavior was not natural (even though how others behaved or reacted seemed completely non-instinctual to me).
Now that I know I'm on the spectrum, things make so much more sense. Also, I have been able to research books and get tools in therapy that are useful for helping me communicate with NTs and try to understand them better.
But the most helpful of all was the relief I felt in that I didn't have to try to "fake" being an NT anymore. I could just let my Aspieness out of the closet to breathe. It has made my life so much easier.
 
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