Unfortunately there is no right answer, but if it works for you? I am overly organized. I like the rooms in the house to look like a picture in one of those magazines. I get very emotional about it. I love those designer and remodeling shows. I used to take pictures of the rooms in our house and say to my wife this is what they should look like, anything changes I will remove the offending item.
I actually like highly organized environments the only problem I have with them, when things change you need to reorganize. I was able to keep some things in our house organized in a particular manner because their functions and, should I say, importance don't change. As for everything else, it's hard to keep it organized. I have a theory it's because we have hard time deciding what part those things play in our life, if their influence on our life is consistent enough, if they support or contradict our position in life, our goals, dreams etc. For kids it's the same thing, and kids might be even more confused, they haven't had a chance to choose a direction yet, or maybe they're not sure about the direction.
For me it would be the same as choosing design style or music style (hopefully you guys can see the connection, sometimes I'm a little vague
) as an artist I like harmony in any style but do I have personal preferences, something that speaks to me? Sometimes I feel like country (design wise), to cuddle up in it's coziness, sometimes I feel like ultra modern because it's refreshing and straight to the point, sometimes I don't mind simple contemporary (which I'm living in now
) because it's easy and undemanding.... and so on. I feel like I'm everything as long as there's harmony in it, but don't you need to make specific choices in life?...
You know what my dream is, the house that could change when you change or your life changes in a blink of an eye, ok maybe in blink of an eye in a slow motion
sometimes I wish , there was nothing just white walls, simple square for a windows and doors... and maybe some comfy white chair in the middle... yeah....
BTW do you watch HGTV? before we bought the house we watched it all the time... then it became kinda... depressing
I also got thrown out of college because because I vacuumed my dorm room too much. I did this mostly when everyone was in class, had my own private room as did everyone.
did you think it wasn't clean enough? have you ever been thinking it's too much, or in your mind it was not?
It reminded me of something that I read in a book once about Asperger's, that people on the spectrum sometimes have hard time prioritizing and doing things for strangest reasons. Like for instance, when I was in college, I was thinking about quitting and going to medical school. One of the reasons why I didn't go - didn't think I could learn Latin (irrational
). A few reasons why I wanted to go were: I liked an idea of studying human brain, I liked visualizing it and I liked big modern hospitals
. So if I did become a doctor, and somebody asked me why, I would say, "well, I like hospitals"
If I have routines they exist for a reason. I am not to keen on being flexible, that is, having a heavy hand in other people's routines or suggestions.
Logically, it may be a good idea to be more spontaneous or less routine-ridden, but that is only in theory.
Everyone has routine and prefers no change-- Aspie or not.
Why would it be wrong that I prefer my routines and controlled environment lest it affects someone directly?
I agree that everyone has routines. I guess it's not specifically about routines themselves, it's about being able to adjust to change. When I was younger I was sort of like people's challenger
I would rush into their lives saying, so let's do something. My routine back then was (when I wasn't working or studying) to wonder around looking for something exciting to do
it didn't cross my mind that people might have plans and I was interfering with their plans. Now, I'm on the other side of ... how you call it...fence... well you get my point, I don't like when when my husband suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere wants to drive to Canada
or when I constantly have to build my schedule around may family...but the thing is, that's normal, it's all in the way you look at it. I've actually always done it, building schedule around something just didn't pay attention to it.
So maybe it's about predictability. But if you think about it, if you take some time a observe people that you know for a little bit, you might notice that their so called unpredictable behavior, is actually very predictable. They might want to do certain things on particular days or when they are in particular mood and things like that... Then it all comes to a person's willingness to put some effort into learning about other's... I can call them routines... I guess, and their preferences, and about deciding how much of your personal energy you would like to dedicate to them. And there's one more thing, will they be willing to do the same for you? Some people have tendency disregarding everything they don't understand, if they don't understand why you need things your way not their way, they might start an argument and try to convince you that you're wrong. Yes it's not easy sometimes, especially when you need to explain yourself while you feel that you don't have to. But from my experience if you do it without anger, just by stating your position as a fact at that particular moment, even the most stubborn people might accept something that they previously haven't...
as for the controlled environment... I guess it depends on the level of structure, some need everything very well structured, some not. And I'm personally not sure which type I am. I know I get more done when my day is well structures, things are done at particular time, no compromises, but then I get inspired and as, King_Oni mentioned as well, I can also spend hours and days doing something unwilling to stop. I'm still trying to find some sort of balance between those 2.
