My wife and I have recently separated and the house feels very empty without my kids there. It has been an incredibly difficult transition especially for someone who hates change. That being said, I have had to strive to not let myself get into despair feeling sorry for myself in my current situation. I try to keep in mind, that right now the most important thing I can do is KEEP PUSHING FORWARD. I don't like the fact that things are the way they are right now, but I try to remember that I am still here. I have survived all that has come before, and I will survive this. Choosing to feel guilty because my wife can't handle my struggles right now will only serve to bring me further down. I have noticed that I can take a genuine negative feeling and focus on it until it is feeding back into itself and has a life of it's own, able to press my brain into service keeping it well fed. I allow myself to feel the feeling then at the point that I recognize that it has become unproductive and is causing me to be stymied I have to collect myself and actively change my focus to positive thoughts. Probably goes without saying, but being in an actively destructive relationship helps no one in the family. I hope the future holds healing for my family, but for now, like the airlines say, I have to put my oxygen mask on first before I can help anyone else. Good luck to your friend.