So my issues- shyness, avoiding certain topics and so on.

[JackSkellington]

It's just a complicated mess. I'm shy especially online. I've been in the chat room a bit now- I generally just lurk, which I do know isn't a big deal. However I don't feel like talking much especially when it's about topics I either don't care about- offensive stuff, dumb stuff or whatever. I know not everyone does private chats, but that's what I usually prefer I guess it's just a whole thing about the chat going too fast.. or many people at once. Just like in real life- I can't usually be around more than 2-5 (or something like that.. usually 1-3 at the most) before it gets stressing and so on.

So to speak some about the avoiding topics- I generally don't talk about alcohol (I rarely drink it, so I rarely have any interest in it) and other things. Sometimes it feels like people talk about it so much.. I don't know how to respond, just nod and wait for the topic to end patiently I guess? People like what they want- I do know that. I'm not expecting every topic to be something I love when I talk to people in real life and online. I'm not trying to be selfish or anything of the sort.

A few other notes- I'm a pretty open book honestly.. once I've known the person a bit. However I do feel like talking about myself is selfish and I tend to do it too much. I guess people don't always mind.. but I do! Because I would rather talk about general subjects (movies, games, etc) or hear about the other person.

I know I'm an introvert- so that's a huge part of it. But not sure what else to do. I personally don't want to instantly be "changed" (or something?) so that I can fit in. I am who I am.

I hope all this makes sense.. it just looks like a jumble of ranting/venting and more. Blah..

 

[ksheehan88]

It's just a complicated mess. I'm shy especially online. I've been in the chat room a bit now- I generally just lurk, which I do know isn't a big deal. However I don't feel like talking much especially when it's about topics I either don't care about- offensive stuff, dumb stuff or whatever. I know not everyone does private chats, but that's what I usually prefer I guess it's just a whole thing about the chat going too fast.. or many people at once. Just like in real life- I can't usually be around more than 2-5 (or something like that.. usually 1-3 at the most) before it gets stressing and so on.

So to speak some about the avoiding topics- I generally don't talk about alcohol (I rarely drink it, so I rarely have any interest in it) and other things. Sometimes it feels like people talk about it so much.. I don't know how to respond, just nod and wait for the topic to end patiently I guess? People like what they want- I do know that. I'm not expecting every topic to be something I love when I talk to people in real life and online. I'm not trying to be selfish or anything of the sort.

A few other notes- I'm a pretty open book honestly.. once I've known the person a bit. However I do feel like talking about myself is selfish and I tend to do it too much. I guess people don't always mind.. but I do! Because I would rather talk about general subjects (movies, games, etc) or hear about the other person.

I know I'm an introvert- so that's a huge part of it. But not sure what else to do. I personally don't want to instantly be "changed" (or something?) so that I can fit in. I am who I am.

I hope all this makes sense.. it just looks like a jumble of ranting/venting and more. Blah..

Its tough to talk to people. I think you do just fine No one would expect you to chime in on a subject you aren't interested in

 

[JackSkellington]

thank you. I know people don't expect me to.. but I also don't just like being a quiet lurker...

 

[Suzanne]

I can't stand the chat room and have disabled it. Like you say, it feel like it would face to face and that is just too difficult for me.

I have been online for well over 16 year' and so am used to chatting ( like this), but if I am the first to answer, I can feel the familar panic and inferior complex rearing its ugly head.

If the internet had been around when I was at my worst, I would not even be online!

 

[JackSkellington]

Hi Suzanne! thanks for replying. I do feel like I have inferior complex sometimes. It gets so rough. I think as time goes by.. perhaps it will be easier for me.

 

[Nightingale121]

It's just a complicated mess. I'm shy especially online. I've been in the chat room a bit now- I generally just lurk, which I do know isn't a big deal. However I don't feel like talking much especially when it's about topics I either don't care about- offensive stuff, dumb stuff or whatever. I know not everyone does private chats, but that's what I usually prefer I guess it's just a whole thing about the chat going too fast.. or many people at once. Just like in real life- I can't usually be around more than 2-5 (or something like that.. usually 1-3 at the most) before it gets stressing and so on.

I can somehow relate to that. If there's too much going on or people talk about uninteresting stuff, I am more quiet in chat as well. It is either too stressful or boring for me then.
I'm shy too and unfortunately I'm even so shy that I don't usually start private chats or private messages at all even though that's way easier to handle in a way (only one person at a time and with PMs even more relaxing because it's not an instant chatting). I do private chats and PMs and it's fine for me, but I didn't initiate them.
I think that's a more general problem for me. I'm shy and also never know how exactly I should initiate the contact and so I just feel awkward and rather stay silent because all the options I think about as possible conversation starters don't feel "perfect" enough. Also, I always wonder if it's just annoying for the other person. Maybe they don't want to be talked to? Maybe they don't want me to initiate a private conversation?

So to speak some about the avoiding topics- I generally don't talk about alcohol (I rarely drink it, so I rarely have any interest in it) and other things. Sometimes it feels like people talk about it so much.. I don't know how to respond, just nod and wait for the topic to end patiently I guess? People like what they want- I do know that. I'm not expecting every topic to be something I love when I talk to people in real life and online. I'm not trying to be selfish or anything of the sort.

That sounds pretty much like me. I don't drink alcohol at all. I am just quiet if peple talk about it and - in real life conversations - might nod occasionally.
The I'm not trying to be selfish part makes it difficult for me to actually change the topic to one of my main interests. I know that not everyone likes them just like I'm not interested in a conversation about alcohol, for example. I don't want to bring them in the same situation I am in with their topics. So I'm just silent until the topic goes on and I can finally participate after a change occurs on its own (through the conversation between the others).

A few other notes- I'm a pretty open book honestly.. once I've known the person a bit. However I do feel like talking about myself is selfish and I tend to do it too much. I guess people don't always mind.. but I do! Because I would rather talk about general subjects (movies, games, etc) or hear about the other person.

Yes, I'm more confident after I know the person for a while too. I just need the time to be comfortable around the person and to have some kind of basic "data base" about them (what are they like, what do they like to talk about, what are their interests, what's their talking style etc.). I'm rather insecure about how much to talk about myslf even then though. I don't realy know what the correct level is between too much and not enough.
It's the easiest for me if there's someone who shares an interest with me and we just discuss about it in a more information oriented conversation instead of taking about myself too much. But this information orientation works for some personal topic as well. So I'm more comfortable talking about a work related project or facts about myself than having complicated emotional or social conversations.

Hi Suzanne! thanks for replying. I do feel like I have inferior complex sometimes. It gets so rough. I think as time goes by.. perhaps it will be easier for me.

Maybe it will. At least it was like this for me.
Even now I'm more of a lurker in chat, especially if there's too much going on at the same time or if people talk about a topic I'm not interested in. but after being on AC for almost a year I am more familiar with the chat regulars and so I feel more confident in participating. That's the effect I mentioned one paragraph before, I think.

 

[JackSkellington]

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. I don't have a huge reply to it since I'm tired.