JeffW021963
Member
Hi.
I'm somewhere between Old and Fart, so I will admit I am a bit surprised to find myself here. My son is on the spectrum, and before reaching out to him after being out of touch for seven years, I did some research on Asperger's and autism, more for my own enlightenment, just to make sure I had a clear handle on what to expect. As I read, I began to see more and more of my own stumbling blocks over the years. I had been diagnosed with PTSD and social anxiety disorder years ago, and clearly recall living my life feeling like an outsider. People have always been a mystery to me ... I don't understand facial expressions and don't read body language well, which has lead to more than a couple major social disasters over the years, as well as a couple of failed relationships. I've been called stone-faced, since I rarely smile, and have hit a few bumps in my current relationship because she thinks I am furious with her about something when I am actually calm and happy. There's just this weird disconnect between my facial expression and mental/emotional state. I've learned over the years to take words like 'freak,' 'alien,' 'robot,' 'mutant' as compliments. I've taken a couple of online tests, and while I don't want to place too much stock in them, all the signs are pointing to that I am an Aspie.
I'm not going to belabor the point. Not going to fuss and whine about it. My life is what it is - I grew up in an era where Aspergers was very nearly unknown, so I had no choice but to develop my own coping mechanisms and ways. In my chosen profession, an obsession with numbers, details, etc is a good thing. I always tell people that if we had eight fingers on each hand, hexadecimal (base 16 number system) would make perfect sense. I'm the go-to guy when they need the misbehaving byte in a database record's index dug out. So, in a certain way, it works for me.
My girlfriend and I are talking seriously about getting married in the next few months. I love her, she's the closest thing I have ever had to both a lover and a best friend. As my son comes back into our lives, I want to make sure she understands the Aspie mind. We have had our share of problems that have very nearly gone out of control and ended our relationship, but because we are friends first, we always manage to find our way back from the edge of the cliff. She has suggested couples counseling, and I am wondering if anyone else has had any measure of success with this approach?
I'm somewhere between Old and Fart, so I will admit I am a bit surprised to find myself here. My son is on the spectrum, and before reaching out to him after being out of touch for seven years, I did some research on Asperger's and autism, more for my own enlightenment, just to make sure I had a clear handle on what to expect. As I read, I began to see more and more of my own stumbling blocks over the years. I had been diagnosed with PTSD and social anxiety disorder years ago, and clearly recall living my life feeling like an outsider. People have always been a mystery to me ... I don't understand facial expressions and don't read body language well, which has lead to more than a couple major social disasters over the years, as well as a couple of failed relationships. I've been called stone-faced, since I rarely smile, and have hit a few bumps in my current relationship because she thinks I am furious with her about something when I am actually calm and happy. There's just this weird disconnect between my facial expression and mental/emotional state. I've learned over the years to take words like 'freak,' 'alien,' 'robot,' 'mutant' as compliments. I've taken a couple of online tests, and while I don't want to place too much stock in them, all the signs are pointing to that I am an Aspie.
I'm not going to belabor the point. Not going to fuss and whine about it. My life is what it is - I grew up in an era where Aspergers was very nearly unknown, so I had no choice but to develop my own coping mechanisms and ways. In my chosen profession, an obsession with numbers, details, etc is a good thing. I always tell people that if we had eight fingers on each hand, hexadecimal (base 16 number system) would make perfect sense. I'm the go-to guy when they need the misbehaving byte in a database record's index dug out. So, in a certain way, it works for me.
My girlfriend and I are talking seriously about getting married in the next few months. I love her, she's the closest thing I have ever had to both a lover and a best friend. As my son comes back into our lives, I want to make sure she understands the Aspie mind. We have had our share of problems that have very nearly gone out of control and ended our relationship, but because we are friends first, we always manage to find our way back from the edge of the cliff. She has suggested couples counseling, and I am wondering if anyone else has had any measure of success with this approach?
