I have a decent job (which I struggled to get), had decent jobs the last 6+ years or so, and have joined many social groups. I still try to balance this with things like paying bills, taking care of errands like washing dishes etc. and it all adds up. I do alright with these things overall.
I am feeling bothered right now because of all the drama I'm dealing with right now. In one social NT group, I realize that after about 2 years or so of being in it, I'm not connecting great with people around me. What's hurts the most is that one of the organizers has been giving me a hard time organizing an event. She claims she doesn't like phone or e-mail, and only text or in-person. Problem with in-person is that it takes me 1 hour to drive to her place, and of course I will only go to events that I want to go to for the group. That is only about once every 4 months or so. It's not like she would consider coming up my way to talk in-person, and plus she interacts with a bunch of people. So, I wouldn't expect that. Fairly recently, she got mad at me over text for me "assuming" I could use her place to hold an event. I saw her in-person some time after that, and she claimed that she was no longer upset about that and that it was no big deal. After our discussion of my idea for the event, she claimed that she and her boyfriend were both interested in making the idea work and that she'd give me dates the next day. She did not give me dates the next day, so 2 days after our discussion, I left the online group because it shouldn't take 4 - 6 months to setup an outing if you really want to have one. She keeps saying that her boyfriend's travel schedule is getting in the way, but there are two big problems I have with this. First off, she could've told me this to update me during the time I've been waiting around, and secondly, when she got mad over text, she should've initiated a conversation with me to find out the context rather than just getting mad over something so small. Right after I left, she begged me to rejoin the group and claimed she'd get dates together once I came back on. She also added before that that I was a good part of the group and that otherwise she wouldn't be reaching out to me. That she liked having me around and that I help make other people feel welcome. After all that, I decided I'd joined the group again and see what happens one week from now. I already know what's going to happen, but I want to wait it out only so I can leave again
I have invested a lot of my own time and energy, and I don't regret my decision for trying out this social group, but I am sad that I feel like the best decision will be to leave this nerdy group.
============================
I feel frustrated with all the drama-ish elements around me. Will probably quit one social group I’m in which I’ve been trying to setup a board game event. The organizers of the group claim they are interested, but there’s been an utter lack of communication. Lack of response via text, the only way she wants to communicate besides in-person. It takes me an hour to drive to an event, so I choose wisely which ones I want to try out, and I also don’t get in-person contact that often. This person does not like phone or e-mail supposedly. It’s been 4-6 months and there was an angry text because she was upset that I was assuming I could use her place to host without asking her. I apologized for the misunderstanding, and told her that I meant to explain why I wanted to use her place to begin with, and that I didn’t really get the sense if they really were interested in doing the event or not. I also was not able to express how long the game was (10 hours on average, that starting at 2 PM and ending at 12 AM would be a good time), and the lack of reciprocative communication has really not been boding well for forming events. I’m also not okay that she can still organizer her own events, but mine don’t matter. She also didn’t keep her word that she’d give me dates 1 day later after we met in-person. I had originally left this group the day after she was supposed to keep her word then. She felt so bad she texted me right away and “claimed” she would offer dates once I rejoin the group. So, after that talk, I’m giving her another chance without any expectation though. It’s been 6 days since that incident now. I’m pretty sure I know what will happen and what I need to do very, very soon. I’m just counting the minutes, and wanted it to come already in a way, but it’s also coming faster than it feels too.
In addition, I almost quit 2 more groups. With one of the 2 groups, I’ll just be showing up to the meetings and participating in video games, but will try not to ask and answer questions about non-video games now cause people are too cruel and impersonal. In the other group out of the 2, it might just be the guy has a family, so he probably hung up on me via phone, but he responds through e-mail real well.
I’m also frustrated to know how deep things get of why I’m being rejected by many people in two autistic communities. Basically, in one group, one person didn’t like me because I didn’t love him like he loved me with his obsessive crush. The organizer of that group got involved, sided with him, got a girl involved who now detests me even though she has nothing to do with that situation. Now, that girl is going out with the son of the organizer of another group I find out. On top of that, I didn’t get along with one of the son’s friends because he was mean to me socially earlier.
I’m doing well, all things considered. I just wish I could keep what I have and also meld well with enough people inside and outside of the autistic community. I don’t want to keep myself too closed off, but I also can’t let people step on me because they think it’s fun or that they will get something from me only. I hope the people I work with and have run into will initiate too, some of who I know happen to be on the spectrum too basically.
I am feeling bothered right now because of all the drama I'm dealing with right now. In one social NT group, I realize that after about 2 years or so of being in it, I'm not connecting great with people around me. What's hurts the most is that one of the organizers has been giving me a hard time organizing an event. She claims she doesn't like phone or e-mail, and only text or in-person. Problem with in-person is that it takes me 1 hour to drive to her place, and of course I will only go to events that I want to go to for the group. That is only about once every 4 months or so. It's not like she would consider coming up my way to talk in-person, and plus she interacts with a bunch of people. So, I wouldn't expect that. Fairly recently, she got mad at me over text for me "assuming" I could use her place to hold an event. I saw her in-person some time after that, and she claimed that she was no longer upset about that and that it was no big deal. After our discussion of my idea for the event, she claimed that she and her boyfriend were both interested in making the idea work and that she'd give me dates the next day. She did not give me dates the next day, so 2 days after our discussion, I left the online group because it shouldn't take 4 - 6 months to setup an outing if you really want to have one. She keeps saying that her boyfriend's travel schedule is getting in the way, but there are two big problems I have with this. First off, she could've told me this to update me during the time I've been waiting around, and secondly, when she got mad over text, she should've initiated a conversation with me to find out the context rather than just getting mad over something so small. Right after I left, she begged me to rejoin the group and claimed she'd get dates together once I came back on. She also added before that that I was a good part of the group and that otherwise she wouldn't be reaching out to me. That she liked having me around and that I help make other people feel welcome. After all that, I decided I'd joined the group again and see what happens one week from now. I already know what's going to happen, but I want to wait it out only so I can leave again
I have invested a lot of my own time and energy, and I don't regret my decision for trying out this social group, but I am sad that I feel like the best decision will be to leave this nerdy group.============================
I feel frustrated with all the drama-ish elements around me. Will probably quit one social group I’m in which I’ve been trying to setup a board game event. The organizers of the group claim they are interested, but there’s been an utter lack of communication. Lack of response via text, the only way she wants to communicate besides in-person. It takes me an hour to drive to an event, so I choose wisely which ones I want to try out, and I also don’t get in-person contact that often. This person does not like phone or e-mail supposedly. It’s been 4-6 months and there was an angry text because she was upset that I was assuming I could use her place to host without asking her. I apologized for the misunderstanding, and told her that I meant to explain why I wanted to use her place to begin with, and that I didn’t really get the sense if they really were interested in doing the event or not. I also was not able to express how long the game was (10 hours on average, that starting at 2 PM and ending at 12 AM would be a good time), and the lack of reciprocative communication has really not been boding well for forming events. I’m also not okay that she can still organizer her own events, but mine don’t matter. She also didn’t keep her word that she’d give me dates 1 day later after we met in-person. I had originally left this group the day after she was supposed to keep her word then. She felt so bad she texted me right away and “claimed” she would offer dates once I rejoin the group. So, after that talk, I’m giving her another chance without any expectation though. It’s been 6 days since that incident now. I’m pretty sure I know what will happen and what I need to do very, very soon. I’m just counting the minutes, and wanted it to come already in a way, but it’s also coming faster than it feels too.
In addition, I almost quit 2 more groups. With one of the 2 groups, I’ll just be showing up to the meetings and participating in video games, but will try not to ask and answer questions about non-video games now cause people are too cruel and impersonal. In the other group out of the 2, it might just be the guy has a family, so he probably hung up on me via phone, but he responds through e-mail real well.
I’m also frustrated to know how deep things get of why I’m being rejected by many people in two autistic communities. Basically, in one group, one person didn’t like me because I didn’t love him like he loved me with his obsessive crush. The organizer of that group got involved, sided with him, got a girl involved who now detests me even though she has nothing to do with that situation. Now, that girl is going out with the son of the organizer of another group I find out. On top of that, I didn’t get along with one of the son’s friends because he was mean to me socially earlier.
I’m doing well, all things considered. I just wish I could keep what I have and also meld well with enough people inside and outside of the autistic community. I don’t want to keep myself too closed off, but I also can’t let people step on me because they think it’s fun or that they will get something from me only. I hope the people I work with and have run into will initiate too, some of who I know happen to be on the spectrum too basically.
