social side becoming messed up

[Timmy1]

hi

due to drugs and extreme isolation I became a real mess up and now regarding social side one part of my brain is well all the time all this try to understand people and act in an appiorite manner and try to learn all this psychoyly , but that is indeed not me and the docs/professors/etc say that that indeed is another thing with asd, and due to drug addiction and extreme isolation i became half human or something ,

its like a block or something in my brain and due.. .. . .



i need to pull my finger out of my hole ,,,,, but how do I do that/?...... . how do I become one again>? ?

 

[asnlifecoach]

You become whole again one step at a time. Pick one thing, rather than everything that needs to be fixed, and start there. One success will lead to another, and another, and another...you just have to pick a place to start and start! If you need help let me know.

 

[GallacticGorilla]

You become whole again one step at a time. Pick one thing, rather than everything that needs to be fixed, and start there. One success will lead to another, and another, and another...you just have to pick a place to start and start! If you need help let me know.

This to me is such good advice. I have had problems with isolation, and trying to pull myself out of the hole I was in. I kept trying, and failing, trying , and failing, trying, and failing. I would take one step forward, and two steps back, 2 steps forward and one step back. Finally I stopped trying to accomplish five things at once, and slowly just took on , one thing at a time.Its not immediate gratification, but it does feel good when you get over one step and you are ready for the rest. I just wish i would have realized that this is the key sooner.

Like the old saying- "How do you eat a whole elephant? One bite at a time of course."

 

[asnlifecoach]

This to me is such good advice. I have had problems with isolation, and trying to pull myself out of the hole I was in. I kept trying, and failing, trying , and failing, trying, and failing. I would take one step forward, and two steps back, 2 steps forward and one step back. Finally I stopped trying to accomplish five things at once, and slowly just took on , one thing at a time.Its not immediate gratification, but it does feel good when you get over one step and you are ready for the rest. I just wish i would have realized that this is the key sooner.

Like the old saying- "How do you eat a whole elephant? One bite at a time of course."

There is another saying that says "Take it one day at a time." I say, "Take it one moment at a time." Live in the present moment. If you can do that, you're accomplished a great feat.

 

[Jordan]

This is exactly how I feel sometimes. I try to avoid extreme isolation, but when it comes, it sure creates paranoia and I never become refreshed the next day.

I suppose the tip of taking it one step at a time can often mean that it's easier to cope with the work that you set yourself towards.

I am always getting my family telling me what I can and can't do. But some days there are boundaries that are supposed to be met. For me this causes more confusion because my brain is "wired differently". It's not a case of "being lazy" it's just the case of my brain needs time to adjust to the social setting, and then in a relaxed environment I can get the work completed.

Everyday is a struggle for me. But I do try and push myself to try, try, and try again. No one is perfect. Having ASD doesn't make myself any different from anyone else. Nor should it do to any other aspie.

With regards to yourself, try to set yourself goals in the day. I have ordered myself a diary so I can remember which days I go into college and what days I need to pay for expenses. At least then, you are refraining yourself from extreme isolation and your mind is active on something, rather than nothing.

It's easy for me to say, as I sometimes lock myself in my flat for a few days. It's not the case that I don't want to go out and socialize with people. It's just that the way the brain is wired causes me to complete tasks in an obscene way, at least to the neurotypical.

The social isolation is caused because of the way us aspies have rigid thinking. It's something we need to work on. And it's never a quick fix. Neither is it a cure.

Also obsessions can refrain aspies from the outside world. I'm always a quiet person (when I need to be) and I do try to fit in. I guess it's not a case of being lazy, it's just the coping mechanism of an aspie.

I'm not saying it's the same for yourself, it's pretty common though in all aspies. And people need to understand how to keep us motivated so we can get through a stressful week and to try and not keep ourselves isolated from the world.

There are many opportunities out there for people who have AS. I am taking every opportunity now to make something of myself, and try to get out more, even if I have to force myself to go outside. Because you will never achieve anything if you stay inside.

I hope this helps you cope too!