Social skills

[Ylva]

Not just our problem.

Social skills for autonomous people. — Stop romanticizing neurotypicality

 

[DogwoodTree]

Good stuff, thanks...

"Some of the social skills we have to learn are coping mechanisms for being heavily stigmatized. We have to learn these skills because something is wrong with society, not because something is wrong with us.

There are skills we have to learn differently because of physical differences between autistic and neurotypical people, but that is not something we are missing either. They treat us like we are neurotypical with missing pieces that need to be filled in, but this is not true. We are a different shape, and that’s ok.

(And there are also social skills that come more easily to autistic people than neurotypical people. Autism is not solely composed of difficulties.)"

 

[Spiller]

"We are a different shape, and that’s ok.. ..The fact that autistic social learning is stigmatized is a problem with society, not autistic people."

Good article! My thoughts are, The Triad of Impairments:
Defined as difficulties with:

Social Interaction,
Communication,
Theory of Mind!

The first two, only from the perspective of the vast majority and, to be honest, without adequate education on their part, that's fair enough.
Theory of Mind? An ASD difference of thought process, literalness, clarity, and all the other traits, leading to misunderstanding because NT's are bound by social conditioning, including anxiety as a negative reinforcement, pleasure as positive (Skinners rats!), to act in a rigid format, obeying fluid rules and therefore, constant re-conditioning.. brain washing as an extreme example of the process.. I stress extreme, as NT's aren't NT all the time, just as ND's aren't ND all the time.
I feel that Theory of Mind boils down simply to a lack of communication between people who are extremely diverse, so respond differently to 'the college of life', which is where, in early life, the diversion begins, but are ultimately not so different at the core.
.. Think Humans and Romulans..
Think NT's you've known who have suffered extreme emotional pain or disability!
No-one is immune to extreme social insecurity of the kind Aspies experience from the start.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Aye, normal folk get advised, admonished, and aggravated just as often as we do, because heaven forbid anybody ever not like anything you do or say! I got so sick and tired of all the "ethics" and behavioural classes in college, and I still have to take so many hours worth of ethics and behavioural classes every year just for my job, and just like pretty much every professional has to out there. Autistic folk just make an easy target since so many of us tend to stick out like a sore thumb more often than not and some of us prefer to be honest than to lie about what we're thinking.

I love this dude's shirt:

But the creepily over-social, socially-paranoid art circle I was in who posted it were complaining roundly about how "rude" he was. They just couldn't comprehend there are only so many times you can be asked the same dumb question before it gets on your nerves and wonder if some people ever bother to think before they speak or when you decide to start messing with their heads a bit. Like I did here. And Bill Engvall has made a career on "here's your sign" jokes.

 

[Spiller]

They just couldn't comprehend there are only so many times you can be asked the same dumb question before it gets on your nerves and wonder if some people ever bother to think before they speak or when you decide to start messing with their heads a bit. Like I did here.

Excellent cartoon Asheskyler.. did you draw that?.. just kidding
Had the same thing, when I worked, for 25 years.. had to keep acting friendly though, as I wanted them to come back more than I wanted them to go away

 

[AsheSkyler]

Excellent cartoon Asheskyler.. did you draw that?.. just kidding
Had the same thing, when I worked, for 25 years.. had to keep acting friendly though, as I wanted them to come back more than I wanted them to go away

Nah, I Photoshopped the whole thing. (Partially true, I did draw it in Photoshop!)
I didn't mind driving them off. 99.99999999999999999% of the people who open with "did you make that" while you're working on it generally don't have an interest in supporting your work, and generally proceed to talk about their aunt's paintings.

 

[Spiller]

99.99999999999999999% of the people who open with "did you make that" while you're working on it generally don't have an interest in supporting your work, and generally proceed to talk about their aunt's paintings.

I got a lot of people look round and ask for lots of prices, they'd use up my time talking about the work they wanted, then tell me their mate could do it for half the price
I'd have to smile and say "Cool", while trying not to make loud grindey teeth noises

 

[AsheSkyler]

I got a lot of people look round and ask for lots of prices, they'd use up my time talking about the work they wanted, then tell me their mate could do it for half the price
I'd have to smile and say "Cool", while trying not to make loud grindey teeth noises

Yeaargh, can't beat Chinese Sweatshop Prices. When I was working for half of minimum wage, I got tons of orders. I got up to minimum wage to be fair to myself, I got less orders and an overall decrease in income. Art has this weird middle ground where if you work for 2 cents a day, you're bombarded, or if you work for $15,000 a day, you're bombarded. In the middle? You don't exist.
I'm afraid to ask crafters and other artisans if they deal with the same thing. It'd certainly make sense why the artsy people have limited social skills!