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Socialy anxious, and maybe autistic

Rebecca Merriam

Rebecca Merriam

Well-Known Member
I don't know where to begin. I've always been a bit off, when I was younger other kids my age have always thought I was "retarded", or super smart. I didn't like looking directly at other peoples faces, I'd fall over while standing still. When I was a teenager I self diagnosed myself as autistic, reading all the symptoms just sounded like me. But whenever I tried to talk to my parents about it, I would get a "there is nothing wrong with you" and no further discussion.

Growing up I went back and forth with my inner dialogue telling myself im an idiot for diagnosing myself, I toy with the idea of going to a psychologist, but I get so afraid of them telling me I'm wrong, or something else irrational. 2 years I was diagnosed with social anxiety and put on a anxiety medication, and after it kicked in I felt like a different person, I have been able to hold a conversation with someone who wasn't a family member, I'm able now to make friends and keep them long term. Which has sadly always been difficult for me. I still have problems with emotions, but I wing it. Idk, I feel like I am having an identity crisis. And I never feel like I explain myself well...
 
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Hi, Rebecca. I'm glad to hear that the medication worked well for your social anxiety. It's entirely up to you whether you decide to try getting diagnosed or just continue on as you are. If you want to be diagnosed my advice is (same as it always is on here hehe) - find a specialist to do it, someone who knows what they're talking about. In particular who understands the difficulties of diagnosing girls/women. And not someone who lists their asd specialty among twenty other things as well.
And welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll learn a lot here.
 
I do understand the reluctance to see a shrink (I can't spell the P word ;) ) It is very common. I just wanted to share I've seen a lot of doctors, for various issues, mostly physical. One of the most important things for me in the treatment process is that I feel the doctor is listening to me, and I trust their competency. If I don't feel that is true, I change doctors. I haven't actually had to do it very often. Most I find do a good job and I realize they are just human and it can take time for them to figure out the problem. Anyway, seeing professionals has over time helped me greatly in many ways.
 
Welcome to our little corner of the internet. Enjoy your time here. It's a great resource to discuss all things Autism.
 
It's funny how parents chose to sweep all of our requests under the dining room rug. My favorite story; my run-away note was graded for grammer not on the basis it stated l was running away. Sadly, l had to come back, you can't accomplish much at age 14.

Anyways, l guarantee you will come here and feel right at home, and you will find we all feel a tab out of place which makes this forum quite a comfortable place to be. Welcome home.
 
Aspychata said:
My favorite story; my run-away note was graded for grammer not on the basis it stated l was running away.
Click to expand...
It sounds like your parents knew you well.

When I was a teen, I figured out that running FROM was easy; running TO was the hard part...!
 
Hi Rebecca and welcome. Maybe part of the problem is that people still look at autism as 'something wrong' and never want to hear something might be wrong with their child. But it does not mean one is incompetent, just takes everything in a little differently.
 
Thank you! Thats really helpful, I've been looking through people on my network and many of them have long lists, so that helps narrow my search.
Rectify said:
Hi, Rebecca. I'm glad to hear that the medication worked well for your social anxiety. It's entirely up to you whether you decide to try getting diagnosed or just continue on as you are. If you want to be diagnosed my advice is (same as it always is on here hehe) - find a specialist to do it, someone who knows what they're talking about. In particular who understands the difficulties of diagnosing girls/women. And not someone who lists their asd specialty among twenty other things as well.
And welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll learn a lot here.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you, and I agree that is most likely what happened, its just frustrating, I think I think too much of what could of been different had I gotten services early, and instead I should focus on now. I'm still working on thinking, My brain is different not weird.
Pats said:
Hi Rebecca and welcome. Maybe part of the problem is that people still look at autism as 'something wrong' and never want to hear something might be wrong with their child. But it does not mean one is incompetent, just takes everything in a little differently.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you, Its nice to get validation, and to know I'm not alone
Aspychata said:
It's funny how parents chose to sweep all of our requests under the dining room rug. My favorite story; my run-away note was graded for grammer not on the basis it stated l was running away. Sadly, l had to come back, you can't accomplish much at age 14.

Anyways, l guarantee you will come here and feel right at home, and you will find we all feel a tab out of place which makes this forum quite a comfortable place to be. Welcome home.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you, I have had doctors treat me like Im lying and it makes it hard to trust, hopefully I will find a good fit
Tom said:
I do understand the reluctance to see a shrink (I can't spell the P word ;) ) It is very common. I just wanted to share I've seen a lot of doctors, for various issues, mostly physical. One of the most important things for me in the treatment process is that I feel the doctor is listening to me, and I trust their competency. If I don't feel that is true, I change doctors. I haven't actually had to do it very often. Most I find do a good job and I realize they are just human and it can take time for them to figure out the problem. Anyway, seeing professionals has over time helped me greatly in many ways.
Click to expand...
 
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