Rebecca Merriam
Well-Known Member
I don't know where to begin. I've always been a bit off, when I was younger other kids my age have always thought I was "retarded", or super smart. I didn't like looking directly at other peoples faces, I'd fall over while standing still. When I was a teenager I self diagnosed myself as autistic, reading all the symptoms just sounded like me. But whenever I tried to talk to my parents about it, I would get a "there is nothing wrong with you" and no further discussion.
Growing up I went back and forth with my inner dialogue telling myself im an idiot for diagnosing myself, I toy with the idea of going to a psychologist, but I get so afraid of them telling me I'm wrong, or something else irrational. 2 years I was diagnosed with social anxiety and put on a anxiety medication, and after it kicked in I felt like a different person, I have been able to hold a conversation with someone who wasn't a family member, I'm able now to make friends and keep them long term. Which has sadly always been difficult for me. I still have problems with emotions, but I wing it. Idk, I feel like I am having an identity crisis. And I never feel like I explain myself well...
Growing up I went back and forth with my inner dialogue telling myself im an idiot for diagnosing myself, I toy with the idea of going to a psychologist, but I get so afraid of them telling me I'm wrong, or something else irrational. 2 years I was diagnosed with social anxiety and put on a anxiety medication, and after it kicked in I felt like a different person, I have been able to hold a conversation with someone who wasn't a family member, I'm able now to make friends and keep them long term. Which has sadly always been difficult for me. I still have problems with emotions, but I wing it. Idk, I feel like I am having an identity crisis. And I never feel like I explain myself well...