Sometimes you need to careful what you tell some people

[Rachie]

Hi I have been living where I am for some time. I live alone and someone who is on my floor lives two doors away from me.

This person also lives alone and is a bit older than me. She is from a part of 5he world where it is not customary to do so. She is an immigrant from India. I felt that in the past she had been good to me. Several years ago due to circumstance I was not going out much. She came to me tried to encourage me to go out she even brought Karoke to my flat and gave me a book which I treasured that originally was stamped from a library..

I know she has had her issues as I have seen medication in her flat but I don't want to say more than that. I have also seen how older members of her family who are more fraiil need to visit her at times and cling onto the wall. Again this is not customary.

She at times had a habit of giving me things i I did’nt want and her flat is quite congested. Sometimes I would put these in the skip later as I found it difficult to say no.

She gave me some very old magazines for travel and makeup and I just threw them away. About a month later she said she made a mistake and would like me to return some. I said I didn’t have them as I put them skip. First of all she didn't believe me and I found quite disturbing. Then she said I should have never have accepted it. OK, based on the past I tried later to communicate with her.
I got something delivered incorrectly which I was refunded and offered it to her and she accepted. We have been very quiet with each other since.
She used to ask me to help her with her TV and I found it difficult but I tried to accommodate her as she lives alone.

Basically I saw her this weekend and I said I wasn't around much last year as I nearly died. I didn't say what the reason was. At that point she started like walking behind me and wouldn't walk with me. She has in the past commented on seeing some aspects of my life like being on a CTO in the past and being escorted to hospital and made other comments.
It was not right for her to walk behind me like that. That was a fact. What her intentions may have been I cannot say. I am reporting on her actions.
She would only allow me as my parents are from an African descent in her flat and not my Caribbean descent neighbours who were beautiful but have moved on in her flat. She thought that made me more trust worthy. I didn't agree with that but I said nothing.

I'm not going to approach her and she must come to me and I will tell her actions.

One of my neighbours below me is in her 90s and I adore her. Every Christmas mad we send each other a card. She has said to me in one of her cards she was worried if I was still alive when she saw police and ambulance for me. Some people notice in the block without me saying a word.

The behaviour on the weekend shocked me a bit.

Life eh

 

[tree]

"She has in the past commented on seeing some aspects of my life like being on a CTO in the past..."

What is a CTO?

 

[Rachie]

"She has in the past commented on seeing some aspects of my life like being on a CTO in the past..."
What is a CTO?

A CTO is a community treatment order and I was on one for several years for anorexia. I am not on it anymore. You could be recalled to hospital and the police could visit and force you to go if didn't attend. It happened to me and this woman asked me why they came.
She has commented that my weight has been too low in the past.
I told her very vaguely about it in the past when she was trying to get me to go out years ago.

 

[Rodafina]

@Rachie
I also think that it is especially important to have good boundaries with neighbors. Especially when sharing a building. These are people who are not friends or family, but the relationships can be very physically close and personal. I have found it difficult to get the space I want from neighbors without seeming standoffish or rude. Ultimately, I preferred being seen as standoffish and rude to constantly negotiating neighbor relationships.

 

[Rachie]

@Rachie
I also think that it is especially important to have good boundaries with neighbors. Especially when sharing a building. These are people who are not friends or family, but the relationships can be very physically close and personal. I have found it difficult to get the space I want from neighbors without seeming standoffish or rude. Ultimately, I preferred being seen as standoffish and rude to constantly negotiating neighbor relationships.

Thank you, I find that helpful

 

[Rachie]

Today just thinking it can be strange how the world can move sometimes. Although, me the two doors away neighbour are not curretly speaking there are some people other people in the block who we have looked out for. I was meant to go for an appointment once and couldn't make it in the car and passed out in the hallway the driver and a neighbur 3 doors from me helped carry me back home. I didn't want this happen but she was there.


As I mentioned there is my neighbour in her 90s as well.

When some things have been too heavy some have offered to help carry them upstairs for me and my dad.

There is a lady and her partner and I saw her with the cutest of dolls today which was black and well for me it was so cute and I just use them as decoration. I said it waas so cute. She said did I want it and said I cannot. She said yes you can and threw it upstairs to me.
As I said they are decoration. I gave her something tiny after and I said it's a start.

The neighbours I had who were Caribbean descent were overcrowded but beautiful they have whatsapp me since. The children used to draw me pictures and I would give them small Christmas gifts. They were a beautiful family and so respectful. They used to update my dad when I left hospital on a CTO and was visted at home let's say. They were lovely.

Some of us have never spoken and the lady I mentioned yesterday.

So. the decoration feel good and the other things in my life I am thankful for today.

 

[jsilver256]

These are very cute decorations.

 

[Rachie]

^
Thank you jsilver256, I wanted to give a heart and now it won't allow me to change it. I have even got pinocchio as well. I didn't get it at first, but have it now and it kinds of means nothing and it was cheap as well. The zebra I got from London Zoo and it can have spiritual significance. Not to unpack here, we both agree. Green is my favourite colour and the clock doesn’t' even work anymore. Actually, no I think it can be wound up but it too loud for my ears. I have some things from the sea as well. Someone has out stretched arms as well.
The mouse I got when me and my dad went to a park and you roll it darts across the floor and even my 80 year old dad laughed.
I said the doll looked a doc doll. I haven’t even attempted to look it up but may be a past Disney creation. I will accept for now it just looks cute on my ledge.

 

[Rachie]

Lol, I cannot recollect seeing that new addition doll. If there is any show I haven't seen it either. But I do have two young neices. Pass on what i had to buy fo oner to play with a LOL doll.
It was the outfit of the new addition that made it like a doctors outfit to me. She is called Doc Mcstuffins and it is not cheap. I had a few dolls as a child but I didn't play with them as such or dress them either.

I liked to comb their hair so got my two neices one Christmas one doll head each. I used to go a friends about 15-16 and found so sensory soothing just combing the dolls head hair like girls world. That is why I went retro for my neices.
The Princess and Frog i got in 2017 when on a CTO and left hospital by own choice. It was Disney's first black princess and so really spoke to me and she had a green dress as well

 

[jsilver256]

I really loved Tiana in Princess and the Frog. She is a much more industrious and driven princess than any other Disney princess that I remember.

 

[Rachie]

I really loved Tiana in Princess and the Frog. She is a much more industrious and driven princess than any other Disney princess that I remember.

As a child I liked real figures so that was a bit of an issue. But none of European characters like lCindrella or Snow White really moved me. Rapunzel was quite a nice story and later I did like Frozen. Even things like the Jungle book was too unbeliveable to me and I didnt watch it completely.I
I liked as I mentioned before things like Annie and Heidi. I was drawn though to Mulan and Mirabel. Just a tender fifteenwas Mirabel and she held her family together and the music wss great. Although I was glad the Princess and the frog arrived the actual storyline was a bit weaker than I would leave liked and Mirabel character for her strengh. As a black woman the Princess and the Frog was welcome.

 

[Rachie]

I thought Pocahontas was quite a strong female lead as well. Props to Matilda for being more real life. I didn't see the newer little Mermaid as I was in hospital and Shuri looks a bit frightening to me. I didn't see the original Mermaid either. Wanted the see the women of colour one but just wasn't able to. Did like Splash with Daryl Hannah growing up though.

I saw wish and I didn't like very much the theme was a bit too much for me.

Unrelated note on the weekend my brother suggested I go inside out
I said I find the different colour faces odd a bit but pass timer.

 

[Rachie]

I was thinking this morning of the cards that my 90+ neighbour has given me at Christmas. The one that wondered if I was alive I probably still have and that is not customary at all.
This is just one card she sent and I am sure I have the original one somewhere.