Spotting the Aspie in Family Photo's: Severe "aspie stare" as a kid?

[Madame Catfish]

Leafing through a family album, it is almost impossible not to come across a picture such as this:

(That's me in the blue) It seems that the most "steryotipical" autistic expressions come from early childhood, before we learn how to smile for pictures (or smile at all). Looking back on these photos, after seeing the childhood photos of other aspies, and even after recognising children as being autistic by the same sort of wide-eyed expression, I'm wondering if anybody else can attest to autism's attributing a certain "look" to people.

Anyone else have any hilariously expressionless childhood photos they would like to share?

Do you find it easy to recognise autistic children from the same expression?

Does anyone else ever see old family photos like this and wonder "how did it take them so long to notice something was 'wrong'?"

 

[Progster]

My parents have a picture of me when I was about 4 years old, with that kind of stare. I think the the staring expression is because the mind is focused elsewhere - I see pictures in my head and I'm not looking at anything or anybody around me and that, to others, looks like staring.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Apparently I was a little ham. I was always smiling and acting goofy. That changed around 14 when all my traits kicked in. It's just been kinda awkward since then with very few good shots.

 

[AHugNKiss]

Most of the pictures of me as a young 'un, I have a fairly blank face with a small 'fake' smile (it doesn't reach the rest of my face, if you see what I mean?). I'll see if I have one on the computer...

(This also reminds me - I did some photographic modelling aged 14 and the guy who arranged it said 'we got a couple of killer shots but your expression is virtually the same in all of them; you need to work on that'. With hindsight... Hmm!)

Here (I'm on the right):

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I'd never identify an aspie from just one picture, and I can tell you that I also have a 'stare' which can really disturb people if it's straight-on. A friend once told me that being on the receiving end of it was like having someone riffle through her brain.

I too saw a picture of me at 4, and since it was oblique, it wasn't confrontational, but I'm clearly somewhere else. A long way away.

I've been wondering if that's really an aspie attribute, or if it's OCD. That overstimulated 'buzz' from the look-me-in-the-eye thing might just be a partially hypnotic reaction if it's aspie: so much overload that the thought of "move your gaze" can't happen. As OCD, it's hyperfocus, which can feel...predatory...to the other person. And therefore scary. IDK.

 

[Naturalist]

My dad and I (I think he's Aspie too) both look really out of place in family photos. We're usually looking in a different direction to others, and with really tense expressions. Alternatively, we look a bit stoned. I can see the difference in retrospect, but as the picture is being taken I truly feel as if I am trying to do just what everyone else is doing.

Recently my sister (an amateur photographer) complained about Dad not wanting to be in group pictures. She said: "He always looks so upset in the picture. Meg (other sister) asked him what was wrong." I told my sister that if people are always commenting on how bad/sad/angry etc. you look in photos, what incentive is there to be in a photo??? Seriously?!?

I wish I had a photo to share, but I don't keep any. For same reason.

 

[camerartus]

I had a blank face then, too. I'm NT, but my family didn't believe in a sensitive male child. So...

 

[illud]

Oh, I never thought of that...
I've been asked to smile more on pictures since I was a kid. I've always had a similar expression and posture in most pictures, people say I always look serious. Maybe that's one of the reason I hardly ever took pictures of myself since my teens. I tend to rather be on a side of the picture and not in the centre. I don't like to be the centre of attention not even slightly.

 

[Moccu]

I smiled like everyone else in my photos as a kid, but later on in life (in my preteens to now) I became more self-conscious and thought I just looked better (photogenic) with more subtle facial expressions. I've always been pretty overwhelmingly aware of how I display myself to people.

I'm kind of that way now and actually like a firmer, controlled gaze. I feel a bit distorted with a big smile, and I really don't like it when I'm asked to smile with my teeth (not that I would- ew).

I've been told that I look serious and should smile more in pictures, but in person I never get that. I think most of my friends feel pretty secure around me because I don't make any useless movements and just don't look like a person to mess with.

 

[Jordan]

I smiled like everyone else in my photos as a kid, but later on in life (in my preteens to now) I became more self-conscious and thought I just looked better (photogenic) with more subtle facial expressions. I've always been pretty overwhelmingly aware of how I display myself to people.

I'm kind of that way now and actually like a firmer, controlled gaze. I feel a bit distorted with a big smile, and I really don't like it when I'm asked to smile with my teeth (not that I would- ew).

I've been told that I look serious and should smile more in pictures, but in person I never get that. I think most of my friends feel pretty secure around me because I don't make any useless movements and just don't look like a person to mess with.

You are just like me then. I put on a show for social media and have my own "persona" that would make it seem I'm pretty fine to people when I smile and look at the camera in a pleased state. But in actual fact it's the complete opposite of that and I'm just hiding my true aspie self with my online persona.

Here's a pic! Two actually. One I look like a wet dog...showers! Spot the differences in behavior? This changes quite frequently as I have this persona and trick myself into looking "happy". (When I'm actually not, I put on the smile and showing teeth so people don't think I'm shy or different, and I've learned how to present myself to people by "faking" pictures so that people don't find out I'm different! However some of my true colours do show, and you'll see this below.)

Profile picture is acted and tweeted one isn't, but they are on Twitter. Sometimes I leak and my true aspie-self does show in social media.

Profile Picture:

Tweeted Picture (Edited: down-scaled version):

 

[Moccu]

I'm glad I'm not the only one and that you can relate. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm 'just being' or 'just am' what I put out in public. I don't differ much from how I act in the forums, but sometimes I put in a lot less effort to be approachable when I'm out alone and just want to get things done. I'm never rude and am always polite to salespeople/randoms, though.

The act is second nature to me by now.

You look good in both of your pictures, but I can see a bit of change. It kind of makes me think of how I take my own selfies, I look slightly different in each one because I'm not always consistent in my expression if I'm feeling moody or neutral. The one in my signature is basically 'the look' I put on when I'm around my NT friends (I only have ND friends online atm). But my profile picture is what represents my stony expression the best.

I don't stray much from my actual self when I'm acting, the only thing I play up more is my voice and mannerisms, but if you took those away, I'd be pretty deadpan and would probably sound formal. I find that blending in is less about the words being used, and more about how you say and time things.

 

[Jordan]

I'm glad I'm not the only one and that you can relate. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm 'just being' or 'just am' what I put out in public. I don't differ much from how I act in the forums, but sometimes I put in a lot less effort to be approachable when I'm out alone and just want to get things done. I'm never rude and am always polite to salespeople/randoms, though.

The act is second nature to me by now.

You look good in both of your pictures, but I can see a bit of change. It kind of makes me think of how I take my own selfies, I look slightly different in each one because I'm not always consistent in my expression if I'm feeling moody or neutral. The one in my signature is basically 'the look' I put on when I'm around my NT friends (I only have ND friends online atm). But my profile picture is what represents my stony expression the best.

I don't stray much from my actual self when I'm acting, the only thing I play up more is my voice and mannerisms, but if you took those away, I'd be pretty deadpan and would probably sound formal. I find that blending in is less about the words being used, and more about how you say and time things.

You explained it all really well. I feel the same. And it's also annoying that when those leaky pictures do go out, you are showing you're true aspie-self and you are subject to bad criticism because of this.

I would like to see if I can chat about this as I'm really drawn into the subject and curious to know if any other aspies do this. Because it does seem that aspies tend to be good "actors", and we are really good at hiding our true-self when we want to. Especially in a big public setting like Twitter where people are quick to judge your mental state, and that really "Grinds my gears!" (Been watching too much Family Guy lately!)

 

[Moccu]

Maybe we've all got a little Hollywood in us.

I don't mind my stoic pictures being out there, they've never been given bad comments. I have never come out to anyone about my diagnosis (except for here, I guess) and so as far as all my NT friends know, I'm just another NT girl. I've never been questioned about it or suspected as far as I can see, and that's how I know I'm doing it right.

If you start a thread on the subject, I'll probably follow you to it and see what other people have to say about it.

Also, I don't have a twitter, I never really got the appeal of it (unless for advertising/networking for a business). I do use a few social networks, though. I love chatting with people from all over and recently got back in touch with my high school buddies.

I used to watch family guy, but I don't watch tv much anymore and usually choose to go on Netflix or a random site to rip off tv shows, lol. The shows I love are The Office, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Mad Men, The Walking Dead, Vikings, and some others.

 

[Jordan]

No one has really speculated that I am an aspie either unless (as what happened to me earlier) I vent out my depression on Twitter, people reach out to me that care and are friends. So I can mainly talk about my problems in a private conversation or call with one person only, and tell them (I'm pretty nervous with voice-chat!). No one on Twitter knows that I'm an aspie, and only my close-friends know.

And yeah I'll make another thread! And you watch Breaking Bad? I've only just started the first season!

Touching a bit on the NT subject, most of my NT friends think I'm just NT... I just don't go talking about my Aspergers, unless I know them well AND I've reached out about problems and not stating that it's even related to Aspergers in any way! So I'm pretty clever to know who to vent to about this and I'm pretty well aware about my Aspergers discussion to that close friend when I'm in that current situation.

But to stay on topic with the OP, I was pretty shy when I was younger, and I was pretty aware of how to present myself properly as I grew a lot older, and as Moccu said: "It becomes second nature to you." --- (slowly but surely; but you learn how to have these acted personas! Hollywood will snap you up in no time!)

 

[Moccu]

I've watched all the seasons of Breaking Bad already, I think it's one of the best shows of all time, but I wouldn't mind binge-watching it all over again. Don't worry, I won't spoil anything for you, ha. Right now I'm kind of waiting to see what new shows are coming out since I'm running out of things to follow.

And yes, now staying on topic lol.

 

[Jordan]

Just to let you know: I've created a new thread so people can discuss about social media there!