Stim that has started to a bit of a problem.

[MildredHubble]

Hey everyone. This has been on my mind for a little while. Ever since I can remember, I have had this compulsive habit to bite my lip. It's definitely something I find soothing and until recently I guess it's not been a huge problem.

Over the last few years I've had some rather terrible anxiety issues. My lip biting has become sort of my go to calming strategy. The problem is I have been doing this so much more than usual I've started to wear a fairly noticeable groove into one of my front teeth and it's starting to get a bit painful at the root area.

I can't stop though. I catch myself doing it, but it's difficult to stop as it definitely helps. It's hard to change something you've done forever and it still feels nice, even if it's causing problems.

Any ideas what I can do to reduce or stop it? I'm a bit worried that if I can't bite my lip I might start doing things that irritate people or look strange. For example tapping my head is starting to re-emerge when I avoid the lip biting and that does cause some strange looks. Also, I'd prefer not to lose a tooth, especially a front one!

 

[Masked Man]

I used to do that too, and I used to bite my nails to the point that my fingers would bleed.

I don't know about you but the reason I used to do those things was to relieve my anxiety, which I have a lot of. However I also know that that was a bad habit which is not only unsightly it's also bad for my teeth.

I started instead tapping my fingers. It's hard to explain, but I make it subtle so it's not an obvious thing like head bobbing or chewing on my nails. I just tap my fingers against my leg, or on a table, or on a chair - whatever I'm next to or close to. Not only is it anxiety reducing, it's sort of grounding because I am touching something and placing myself physically in my environment and outside of my head.

 

[Rodafina]

Sounds frustrating. Starting with the basics here…

Do you like fidgets? Have you tried a whole wide range of fidgets that you could keep in your pocket all the time? I do this - never leave home without my fidget of the day. I can play with it in my pocket or just in my hands.

I was prone to scratching myself as a stim, so obviously I wanted that one to stop. I agree that repressing one stim can lead to the development of others, but I wonder if sometimes have some control over what stim is next.

Like the fidgets for example. It’s a way to channel the nervous compulsion into something less harmful. But when I say fidgets, I really mean a wide array of different ways to occupy our hands. There are so many different things that could be used for a fidget and they all seem to have different sensory qualities.

 

[Rodafina]

I started instead tapping my fingers.

Likewise. I think this is a good redirection of anxious energy and our fingers are always with us. I press mine together, two at a time and it is very calming.

 

[MildredHubble]

Sounds frustrating. Starting with the basics here…

Do you like fidgets? Have you tried a whole wide range of fidgets that you could keep in your pocket all the time? I do this - never leave home without my fidget of the day. I can play with it in my pocket or just in my hands.

I was prone to scratching myself as a stim, so obviously I wanted that one to stop. I agree that are repressing one stim can lead to the development of others, but I wonder if sometimes have some control over what stim is next.

Like the fidgets for example. It’s a way to channel the nervous compulsion into something less harmful. But when I say fidgets, I really mean a wide array of different ways to occupy our hands. There are so many different things that could be used for a fidget and they all seem to have a different sensory qualities.

Yes I do quite like things like that. But finding the right one is a bit of a challenge. I mentioned in a previous post that I had these Bic pens with a unique clicking system. They haven't made them in a long time but I found it's "descendant" the other day. It's not quite the same but I will try keeping that in my pocket. Only slight problem is that I used to like clicking it with my teeth lol! But I like clicking the button on the top of the pen and activating the release in one quick fluid motion quickly and repeating. Might be a bit irritating to others though.

I suppose the lip biting has always been a good one for me as I can do it subtly and people don't tend to notice as much. Clicky things are awesome but other people don't tend to think so.

I started instead tapping my fingers. It's hard to explain, but I make it subtle so it's not an obvious thing like head bobbing or chewing on my nails. I just tap my fingers against my leg, or on a table, or on a chair - whatever I'm next to or close to. Not only is it anxiety reducing, it's sort of grounding because I am touching something and placing myself physical in my environment and outside of my head.

Drumming my hands used to be a favourite of mine too. But I got teased a lot for that. Unfortunately the usual way I've lost stims in the past was through negative reinforcement, which is not nice.

It's occurred to me that there was a fidget toy for sale in a local shop we call B&M. It's like a cube with a joystick on it and buttons and switches. I should probably try it out. I guess it doesn't have the benefit of being as subtle as lip biting, but I can't deny it's damaged my tooth.

 

[tree]

I am lost about how biting one's lip could damage the teeth.

I can easily imagine lip biting damaging.....lips.
But how does it have an effect on teeth?

 

[MildredHubble]

This is pretty much the same pen I liked, but the release mechanism is slightly different, might be close enough though.

EDIT: I should have thought of this earlier, but I've found some vintage ones on eBay! I'm looking forward to getting them now. Hopefully I can keep them out of my mouth!

 

[MildredHubble]

I am lost about how biting one's lip could damage the teeth.

I can easily imagine lip biting damaging.....lips.
But how does it have an effect on teeth?

Sorry, I should explain. I kinda bite on my lip, and kinda slide my lip forward until it escapes and my front teeth impact eachother. It's affecting one tooth in particular as, although my teeth look straight they are very slightly out of line. So one tooth is still in contact with my lip somewhat and the right front teeth grind together a bit.

Of course sometimes I do damage my lips too and cause a small cut but that's quite rare.

 

[tree]

OK.

That makes sense.

Do your lips ever bleed?

 

[MildredHubble]

Do your lips ever bleed?

Yes, sometimes. Not badly though. It tends to happen if I'm feeling really agitated and anxious.

When I think about it, I suspect the whole action, including the bit where my teeth grind together a little is basically what I find comforting. Which might explain why I haven't naturally evolved that bit out.

 

[chincey_james]

I can relate a bit. For most of my life, I picked my fingernails and skin until bloody. My hands hurt every time I had to get them wet because the water would get beneath where the tops of my fingernails should be.

Somehow, I stopped nailpicking this year. I don't even know how. I just resolved to try my best never to do it again because the pain was too much. I have tried to replace it with fidget toys and exercise and that helps a little. Truth be told though, I have a lot of excess anxiety that is left behind now. I too need to find healthier stims.

 

[MildredHubble]

I can relate a bit. For most of my life, I picked my fingernails and skin until bloody. Many times my hands hurt every time I had to get them wet because the water would get beneath where the tops of my fingernails should be.

Somehow, I stopped nailpicking this year. I don't even know how. I just resolved to try my best never to do it again because the pain was too much. I have tried to replace it with fidget toys and exercise and that helps a little. Truth be told though, I have a lot of excess anxiety that is left behind now. I too need to find healthier stims.

I'm glad you've managed to get control of it and I hope you can find something better to replace it with. It's one thing to know that it's causing harm but somehow it's not enough to override the urge it seems :-(

I also can scratch my head a lot and that causes my scalp to become sore, particularly when washing my hair. This is part of the reason why I'm concerned about the head tapping recurring as it's not a big leap from there to more head scratching :-/

 

[chincey_james]

It is exhausting feeling like it will never stop. I always wondered why the pain and embarassment was not enough to make it go away. So confusing like that.

 

[Suzanne]

My worst, is running my hand through my hair, to remove loose parts. Not intentional; just a really relaxing feeling. However, my hair is on the thin side and thus, not good and my husband HATES me doing it.

I developed sleep apnea ( thankfully, seems to have gone) and had to wear my hair up and that was a life saver.

If you are female. Perhaps you could put on some disgusting tasting lipstick or something like that?

My new stim, is more embarrassing to my husband. My hands act like they are typing, but in the air. I try to stop, and even physically, but I go back to it.

 

[Aspychata]

I definitely bit lips, but l usually stop. I have bitten my cheeks. But l am flexible in stims, now l am scratching my scalp, then it gets sore, so l recoil and pull back my fingers. Until l come up with a new stim. I guess you need to change out stims. Maybe start chewing gum. That can really help me. I did it at my last two jobs, and my one autistic boss called me on it, but didn't say anything else. Lol

 

[Au Naturel]

Maybe you can find a stim that would not be so noticeable - or painful - and try to force a substitution. I've been biting my lips for most of my life. It comes and goes.

 

[vergil96]

I can second the idea to try different stim toys and carry them around. You have to find a replacement that is interesting/satisfying enough for a hermful stim.

 

[MildredHubble]

Thanks everyone for your insight and suggestions! I definitely need to find a replacement for this lip biting. My right front tooth felt so sore when I woke up today.

I'm hoping that when my favourite pens arrive they will help. It might seem silly but I'm really looking forward to them arriving. They should be quite easy to keep handy. I'm a bit concerned about the clicking sound they make, but more concerned about my tooth.

Also an added benefit will be that I will always have a pen handy I guess.

Right now I'm trying to be more aware of when I bite my lip and try and divert myself from doing it. It's certainly not easy though

 

[MC1Rcat]

I have an oral fixation too and hand stims don't always do it for me.... but some of these are really good!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/FloppyLinksFidgets?ref=yr_purchases
the pocket vortex is my favorite!

I also love this keychain
Möbii® Keychain Stainless Steel and Copper: Fidget EDC - Etsy

I used to be a lip biter, and also had to break myself of pen and pencil chewing. Gum was not a good replacement because I will unconsciously chew it too vigorously and end up biting my cheek or tongue pretty bad. I carry mints in my pocket a lot.... I also will suck the inner periphery of my lips, instead of biting them, run my tongue across the backs of my teeth a lot, or curl/ twist my tongue around a lot w/ my mouth closed. I have no idea if this makes my face look weird or not..LOL

So, I try to keep things in my pockets to play with and move around a lot. I have a tendency to pace around or if seated, "bounce" my foot/ legs a lot. This drives people nuts sometimes if they feel the vibration though. So, in those cases, I try to just move my toes instead and play with my mechanical pencil. I have a metal one, so I can take it apart a lot without breaking it. And, I get up to "go to the restroom" if I can't sit still anymore and feel too wound up.

 

[Au Naturel]

Have you tried chewing gum?

If there are grooves in your teeth, it isn't from lip and cheek biting. It is from teeth-grinding. A mouthpiece at night may help. During the day, you have to keep a constant watch that you aren't doing it. I have this weird habit of clicking my teeth to music.

When I got married, I was chewing on my lips throughout the ceremony. Looked like I was mumbling.