Has any had an experience like this?
I've shared this with NTs before and not had any one relate even a little.
I used to get recurring dreams, which could also fit the description of night terrors.
They were always when I was just going to sleep or just waking up and the expereince was partly mental and partly physical, or at least perceived that way.
There is no way to be truely accurate, but the best I could do is to that it felt like every atom in my body did not belong in this universe and was being rejected.
It felt very painful, but at a much deeper more fundamental level than normal pain, and I would just want it to stop, but not really caring how it stopped.
There was a visual experience of a black ball too as if I was part of it, or was just entering or leaving it.
I would would wake up and it would fade, but I was certainly awake for some of it.
It happened back as far as I can remember and gradually faded in intensity, and became rare in my 20's. I've had some minor echos even in my 40's.
I've shared this with NTs before and not had any one relate even a little.
I used to get recurring dreams, which could also fit the description of night terrors.
They were always when I was just going to sleep or just waking up and the expereince was partly mental and partly physical, or at least perceived that way.
There is no way to be truely accurate, but the best I could do is to that it felt like every atom in my body did not belong in this universe and was being rejected.
It felt very painful, but at a much deeper more fundamental level than normal pain, and I would just want it to stop, but not really caring how it stopped.
There was a visual experience of a black ball too as if I was part of it, or was just entering or leaving it.
I would would wake up and it would fade, but I was certainly awake for some of it.
It happened back as far as I can remember and gradually faded in intensity, and became rare in my 20's. I've had some minor echos even in my 40's.