Strange things you've done at work

[Fridgemagnetman]

Can you think of anything a bit strange you've done at work?

Hung a photo of myself on the dart board. Spent lunchtimes throwing darts into my face. Often by myself.
(A small picture, just over the 20)

A new graphics program, the boss demonstrated using my id card - printing off a big picture of my face
I hung it up, with the caption above 'Spot the idiot competition '

Slept under the bosses desk. All night.

What else? Trying to think, what about you?

 

[LucyPurrs]

Unfortunately, strange ideas don't usually occur to me.

 

[Squished Crab]

Each chair in our office has a small flat surface hidden underneath the seat.

I collected the little holes from all the paper punches in the office for weeks. One night, when I felt I had enough in quantity, I painstakingly placed my collection under most of the chairs. In the morning, trails of little dots littered the office floor. At first it was a mystery, nobody was catching on to where they were coming from. I would see them picking up the dots, and a few minutes later hear them cussing because the were back. After a while they figured out where they were coming from, but they still don't know which sick mind carried out the hole punch plot, yep, I put a few on my own cubical to throw them off my trail.

 

[Mia]

I have lists from various places that I've worked There was an enormous bank of dark brown filing cabinets that separated one section of the transport, truck and railcar shipping company I worked at for several years. At the time I worked shipping claims, and the rate quote department was on the other side. My direct boss, was a really big joker. He enjoyed anything, whereas the office manager was very much like the manager in the movie 'Office Space.'The office manager, Mr. Slade, would make his rounds twice a day to check that there was no 'funny business' going on. Always at the same times. Otherwise no one ever saw him.

After Slade's morning rounds, my boss Enzo, would take his newspaper, and disappear for two hours into the railcar/trucking yards. He would wink at me, 'going for claims files if anyone asks'. Usually he had left some sort of surprise for me somewhere. Once he removed one of the wheels on my chair, so I fell over, another time he placed an enormous rubber fly inside a pile of files on my desk. He heard me scream when I opened the file, and I knew it was him, because his face would become bright red when he laughed.
Usually got him back somehow, once I super glued his coffee cup to his desk, another time, I soaked and removed the label from his can of beans and re-glued the label onto a can of brussel sprouts. When he opened it to eat it, his face went white as he he spat the green stuff into his waste paper basket. The next day I discovered that all the drawers in my desk had old black banana peels in them, which stunk.

We often, in claims received damaged goods, and filed claims reports accordingly. Sometimes it was bird seed, or car tires, one day it was black bart bubble gum. That day everyone at the shipping company chewed black bart gum. I took a rubber band, attached some chewed gum, and using a pencil and the filing cabinets as cover, I hit someone on the other side in rate quotes with gum on the head.

Enzo joined in, using two forks which he attached to a file cabinet drawer, and a rubber band to fling gum. Rate quotes (12 of them) organized into fighting units, using their desks as cover, the rate quotes boss began making slingshots with pencils and rubber bands and duct tape. Enzo organized the six of us, to cover him, as he went for the other box of gum, he got it, and we began chewing and propelling gum. Rate quotes even with their larger number had little cover with their desks, they had to stay low, we had the high filing cabinets advantage. Black gum went everywhere, stuck to the ceiling, hair, windows. Eventually the rate quote department, waved a white paper napkin in surrender at noon of that day, so we could go for lunch. We had other battles with them, which they won, the paper clip battle, the rubber eraser battle, but the black bubble gum battle was our first victory.

 

[Sabrina]

-I used to teach English as a Second Language. One time, I went to work totally soaked wet because I had been in a street protest (it had started raining, nobody left, so I didn't leave either). I still remember the shocked faces of the students, LOL. It turned out to have great results because from that day on, a kid that used to behaved badly all the time, suddenly starting behaving perfectly. I guessed he thought I was a badass, LOL.

-There was a period when there was nothing to do for days at the office (another job), and I entertained myself by printing lots and lots of cartoon strips of Baby Blues.

-First day (in an internship) someone asked me to make coffee. I had no idea how (at home they always used a Greca coffee maker), I didn't put the lid on the carafe, and the whole thing spilled all over the place, like in an explosion.

 

[Kirsty]

I stuck sellotape to the phone drop, so when it started ringing, someone lifted it and it was still ringing. They couldn’t understand why for a while. If that was me, I’d have seen the sellotape as I pretty much notice everything.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Well I'm liking it so far.
@Mia is obviously crazy amongst crazy.

 

[Aeolienne]

I spent six months at Goldman Sachs on their Autism Work Placement Programme. It was a joke - I've never been so underworked in my life. Yes, you read that correctly. I was put in a team which had only been set up three months earlier, with a manager who was too busy to schedule regular meetings with me - in blatant disregard of the recommendations of the occupational health advisor. The "work" I did consisted of tweaking a spreadsheet for a few hours each day. On one occasion the rest of my team went out for a colleague's leaving lunch without inviting me (presumably because the manager was going by some textbook definition of Aspies as being averse to social contact) and I literally had nothing to do in the meantime, so I ended up watching something on the BBC iPlayer!

 

[LucyPurrs]

Ok, well just thought of something but it wasn't my idea. Was working for the Cayman Islands Govermment as their deputy director of social services back in 1984. When a boatload of Cuban refugees landed on the island the government decided I should be the one to interview their leader to determine if he was a spy. Why on earth they wanted a social worker to do that I never found out, nor did I find out if the refugees were sent by Castro to spy on the island. I hadn't a clue what to ask AND to top it all off, I did not speak Spanish.

 

[Bolletje]

Spent all day with a colleague making a collage of handsome men, then removing all notes from the bulletin board in the meeting room and hanging the collage there instead. Our boss did not appreciate it and had the collage thrown out.

Spent my break at the same workplace going Pokémon hunting with the same colleague. We ran our asses off to catch as many as possible before lunch break was over. Returned to my reception desk just in time, sat there dripping with sweat, met the disapproving glare of someone I had just ran past in the street.

Played hide and seek in the hallways of an empty hospital before it went operational

Hid a fake skeleton in the closet at a radiology department. Rigged it to fall out when the door would be opened.

Had Chinese food delivered to the ambulance entrance of the ER at 4AM

Spent a slow day at the office printing inappropriate and weird Valentine's cards for my boyfriend, but when I went to pick them up there were a few coworkers hanging around the copy machine drinking coffee, so I had to make awkward small talk for over 45 minutes before they left and I could pick my prints up. They thought I was so friendly and interested all of a sudden.

There's more, it'll come to me later.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Spent all day with a colleague making a collage of handsome men, then removing all notes from the bulletin board in the meeting room and hanging the collage there instead. Our boss did not appreciate it and had the collage thrown out.

Spent my break at the same workplace going Pokémon hunting with the same colleague. We ran our asses off to catch as many as possible before lunch break was over. Returned to my reception desk just in time, sat there dripping with sweat, met the disapproving glare of someone I had just ran past in the street.

Played hide and seek in the hallways of an empty hospital before it went operational

Hid a fake skeleton in the closet at a radiology department. Rigged it to fall out when the door would be opened.

Had Chinese food delivered to the ambulance entrance of the ER at 4AM

Spent a slow day at the office printing inappropriate and weird Valentine's cards for my boyfriend, but when I went to pick them up there were a few coworkers hanging around the copy machine drinking coffee, so I had to make awkward small talk for over 45 minutes before they left and I could pick my prints up. They thought I was so friendly and interested all of a sudden.

There's more, it'll come to me later.

I somehow suspected you may have more than one ....

 

[Kirsty]

Spent all day with a colleague making a collage of handsome men, then removing all notes from the bulletin board in the meeting room and hanging the collage there instead. Our boss did not appreciate it and had the collage thrown out.

Spent my break at the same workplace going Pokémon hunting with the same colleague. We ran our asses off to catch as many as possible before lunch break was over. Returned to my reception desk just in time, sat there dripping with sweat, met the disapproving glare of someone I had just ran past in the street.

Played hide and seek in the hallways of an empty hospital before it went operational

Hid a fake skeleton in the closet at a radiology department. Rigged it to fall out when the door would be opened.

Had Chinese food delivered to the ambulance entrance of the ER at 4AM

Spent a slow day at the office printing inappropriate and weird Valentine's cards for my boyfriend, but when I went to pick them up there were a few coworkers hanging around the copy machine drinking coffee, so I had to make awkward small talk for over 45 minutes before they left and I could pick my prints up. They thought I was so friendly and interested all of a sudden.

There's more, it'll come to me later.

Does the colleague you’re talking about has Aspergers? I remember you saying a few of you are on the autistic spectrum.

 

[Gracey]

Working nights in a huge superstore on merchandising. Was tasked with a dull but necessary and quite repetitive task.
Had long hair at the time so could hide ear buds from I pod.
Got really carried away by a moving version of Nessum Dorma and with out realising had started to whistle along to the tune. Loudly.

I was on another planet until the whole tune finished. When I came back down to earth it was to the sound of applause. Colleagues, managers, a few customers...
Apparently it was very good and my whistle could be heard throughout the store.
I went very red and had to disappear because I was beginning to cry !!



In a different job, being a lowly NCO working amongst high ranking officers in HQ it usually fell to me to be 'brew-*****' which, 30 years ago meant not only making the brews but washing everyone's cups too.

My O.C received gift from someone's holiday which was a light activated tune mug. When lifted off the desk it would begin a few bars of the most irritating, repetitive, scratchy tune I think I've heard to date. It's difficult to wash and dry a light activated mug silently. My O.C was quite pleased with how irritating the tune was and used the mug just to wind people up.
Nope... Just No.

I taped it shut into an empty catering coffee tin (dark, no sound) then into a box wrapped in plastic and hid it well in a stationery storeroom with the words "DANGER, DO NOT OPEN" written on the box and when asked where the mug was? Replied that it had disappeared. (Technically, it had)

6 months after leaving the services I heard from a colleague that the stationery storeroom was now being used as an office in HQ but not before the E.O.D (bomb disposal) had to go in and clear a package found wrapped in plastic with the words "DANGER" on the front of it. ! My bad.


Same job, different location. I killed the Commandant's dog.

I was negotiating a really tight right hand bend in a heavy goods vehicle around a small military training camp in North Wales.
I had to get over tight to the left in order to turn right on a narrow road with buildings on all sides.
I was travelling really slowly to give the steering maximum effect.

So slowly, that the Commandant's old dog decided to walk under the wagon between the front and back wheels. I thought I was so tight over to the left that I'd clipped a kerb and just continued with the manouvre and parked the wagon up.
Apparently not.
After cleaning the vomit splatter from my boots (dogs are no match for a heavy goods vehicle) I got double timed to the Commandant's office for a 'roasting'

(Dog was off lead and unsupervised, wandering freely around the camp, no owner to keep it under control) still got my ass handed to me though !

 

[isthisreallife]

Working nights in a huge superstore on merchandising. Was tasked with a dull but necessary and quite repetitive task.
Had long hair at the time so could hide ear buds from I pod.
Got really carried away by a moving version of Nessum Dorma and with out realising had started to whistle along to the tune. Loudly.

I was on another planet until the whole tune finished. When I came back down to earth it was to the sound of applause. Colleagues, managers, a few customers...
Apparently it was very good and my whistle could be heard throughout the store.
I went very red and had to disappear because I was beginning to cry !!



In a different job, being a lowly NCO working amongst high ranking officers in HQ it usually fell to me to be 'brew-*****' which, 30 years ago meant not only making the brews but washing everyone's cups too.

My O.C received gift from someone's holiday which was a light activated tune mug. When lifted off the desk it would begin a few bars of the most irritating, repetitive, scratchy tune I think I've heard to date. It's difficult to wash and dry a light activated mug silently. My O.C was quite pleased with how irritating the tune was and used the mug just to wind people up.
Nope... Just No.

I taped it shut into an empty catering coffee tin (dark, no sound) then into a box wrapped in plastic and hid it well in a stationery storeroom with the words "DANGER, DO NOT OPEN" written on the box and when asked where the mug was? Replied that it had disappeared. (Technically, it had)

6 months after leaving the services I heard from a colleague that the stationery storeroom was now being used as an office in HQ but not before the E.O.D (bomb disposal) had to go in and clear a package found wrapped in plastic with the words "DANGER" on the front of it. ! My bad.


Same job, different location. I killed the Commandant's dog.

I was negotiating a really tight right hand bend in a heavy goods vehicle around a small military training camp in North Wales.
I had to get over tight to the left in order to turn right on a narrow road with buildings on all sides.
I was travelling really slowly to give the steering maximum effect.

So slowly, that the Commandant's old dog decided to walk under the wagon between the front and back wheels. I thought I was so tight over to the left that I'd clipped a kerb and just continued with the manouvre and parked the wagon up.
Apparently not.
After cleaning the vomit splatter from my boots (dogs are no match for a heavy goods vehicle) I got double timed to the Commandant's office for a 'roasting'

(Dog was off lead and unsupervised, wandering freely around the camp, no owner to keep it under control) still got my ass handed to me though !

K, that story with the mug is kinda really funny.

 

[Crossbreed]

Strange, but helpful. Our manufactured cell phones had alpha-numeric serial numbers assigned to them. Since they contained alphas, they would (during some sequences) spell out impolite words completely unintentionally. (It was a point of embarrassment for our company.)

During some slower times, I began to consider that problem (and possible solutions). The idea that I came up with was to strike all of the vowels from the alpha set (which they implemented). No vowels, no words. In retrospect, I would have stricken a few other characters, as well, for their resemblance to vowels: A/4, E/3, I/1, O/0/Q, U/V, Y.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Working nights in a huge superstore on merchandising. Was tasked with a dull but necessary and quite repetitive task.
Had long hair at the time so could hide ear buds from I pod.
Got really carried away by a moving version of Nessum Dorma and with out realising had started to whistle along to the tune. Loudly.

I was on another planet until the whole tune finished. When I came back down to earth it was to the sound of applause. Colleagues, managers, a few customers...
Apparently it was very good and my whistle could be heard throughout the store.
I went very red and had to disappear because I was beginning to cry !!



In a different job, being a lowly NCO working amongst high ranking officers in HQ it usually fell to me to be 'brew-*****' which, 30 years ago meant not only making the brews but washing everyone's cups too.

My O.C received gift from someone's holiday which was a light activated tune mug. When lifted off the desk it would begin a few bars of the most irritating, repetitive, scratchy tune I think I've heard to date. It's difficult to wash and dry a light activated mug silently. My O.C was quite pleased with how irritating the tune was and used the mug just to wind people up.
Nope... Just No.

I taped it shut into an empty catering coffee tin (dark, no sound) then into a box wrapped in plastic and hid it well in a stationery storeroom with the words "DANGER, DO NOT OPEN" written on the box and when asked where the mug was? Replied that it had disappeared. (Technically, it had)

6 months after leaving the services I heard from a colleague that the stationery storeroom was now being used as an office in HQ but not before the E.O.D (bomb disposal) had to go in and clear a package found wrapped in plastic with the words "DANGER" on the front of it. ! My bad.


Same job, different location. I killed the Commandant's dog.

I was negotiating a really tight right hand bend in a heavy goods vehicle around a small military training camp in North Wales.
I had to get over tight to the left in order to turn right on a narrow road with buildings on all sides.
I was travelling really slowly to give the steering maximum effect.

So slowly, that the Commandant's old dog decided to walk under the wagon between the front and back wheels. I thought I was so tight over to the left that I'd clipped a kerb and just continued with the manouvre and parked the wagon up.
Apparently not.
After cleaning the vomit splatter from my boots (dogs are no match for a heavy goods vehicle) I got double timed to the Commandant's office for a 'roasting'

(Dog was off lead and unsupervised, wandering freely around the camp, no owner to keep it under control) still got my ass handed to me though !

Great, especially the mug.

Didnt rank it funny... well maybe the dog bit.

I once saved a dog, so you can have the karma for that

 

[Gracey]

Great, especially the mug.

Didnt rank it funny... well maybe the dog bit.

I once saved a dog, so you can have the karma for that

Thanks Mr Fridge, have spent a bit of time and effort trying to make up for the dog, balance things out a bit. A little more balancing karma would be most welcome

 

[Mia]

At one point I held two part time jobs, while putting myself through university. One was working two mornings in a novelty/cigar/video game shop, the other was doing personal income tax for a business that did taxes for accounting firms.

The tax company was quite overloaded about a month before the tax deadline, and people there worked twelve hour days, the closer we got to the tax deadline. Accountants showed up all hours of the day and night, with more business. Everyone was stressed and anxious.

At the novelty shop, I found in the back room, a box full of plastic water pistols. And I asked my boss if I could have them, he gave them to me, as they didn't sell. I brought them to the tax company, and gave every employee one. I put one on the president's desk. It was two days to the tax deadline, before all the forms had to be submitted by mail.

That day, the company's president came out of his office, and squirted the vice president in the face with water, then he squirted his wife who ran the office, she screamed and ran into the bathroom. The vice president squirted him back, then they stood in the hallway and waited for accountants to bring in more last minute work. Each time an accountant came in they squirted them in the face. People began running around with water pistols, chasing and soaking everyone they could find. At one point, people were cornered in a first floor office, with glass windows, and people pinned them to the window wall with water. They escaped by opening a window and running outside. The next day we all went to work, the water pistols forgotten.

At the four o'clock postal deadline two day later, groups of accountants of all ages showed up in numbers outside. We were curious as to why, as we saw them approach the offices with large machine gun water pistols, that had been flown in overnight from an accountant's cousin's new york novelty shop. They soaked everyone, as we ran to fill our water pistols. Somehow for most of us, it was a great relief, after all the anxiety of those last few days. The accountants seemed to be the happiest about it.

 

[LucyPurrs]

At one point I held two part time jobs, while putting myself through university. One was working two mornings in a novelty/cigar/video game shop, the other was doing personal income tax for a business that did taxes for accounting firms.

The tax company was quite overloaded about a month before the tax deadline, and people there worked twelve hour days, the closer we got to the tax deadline. Accountants showed up all hours of the day and night, with more business. Everyone was stressed and anxious.

At the novelty shop, I found in the back room, a box full of plastic water pistols. And I asked my boss if I could have them, he gave them to me, as they didn't sell. I brought them to the tax company, and gave every employee one. I put one on the president's desk. It was two days to the tax deadline, before all the forms had to be submitted by mail.

That day, the company's president came out of his office, and squirted the vice president in the face with water, then he soaked his wife who ran the office, she screamed and ran into the bathroom. The vice president squirted him back, then they stood in the hallway and waited for accountants to bring in more last minute work. Each time an accountant came in they squirted him in the face. People began running around with water pistols, chasing and soaking everyone they could find. At one point, three managers were cornered in a first floor office, with glass windows, and people pinned them to the window wall with water. They escaped by opening a window and running outside. The next day we all went to work, the water pistols forgotten.

At the four o'clock postal deadline, groups of accountants of all ages showed up in numbers outside. We were curious as to why, as we saw them approach the offices with large machine gun water pistols, that had been flown in overnight from a new york novelty shop. They soaked everyone, as we ran to fill our water pistols. Somehow for most of us, it was a great relief, after all the anxiety of those last few days. The accountants seemed to be the happiest about it.

Love the revenge XD