Stress over job hunting

[NyanbinaryNyahess]

I’m a university student, and I didn’t take summer classes so I applied to several part time retail jobs. It’s frustrating how almost none of them ever called/contacted me back. And I was rejected by one, and I’ll see of the other calls me back or not within maybe 5 or so hours.

It’s eating away at me because while I don’t like being at home all the time, I just can’t help but be frustrated. I’m trying really hard, but my mom keeps saying it’s not enough and egging me. I get it—no one wants a freeloader, but I’m genuinely trying and I’m just tired of job hunting. I just hope that I get accepted because I want this hellish phase to all be over.

When you grow up in a house that constantly belittles you and makes you question your worth no matter what you do, you’d want to feel useful and helpful for once too…

 

[blizzardin]

I get that, its really frustrating. I've been in this situation as well (while I was not living at home anymore). You are doing great so far for applying to jobs, so dont try to blame it on yourself too much.
I hope you will receive better news about a job soon!

 

[Angular Chap]

Yes, I've been in a similar situation in the past as well. I was rushed out and pressured to get ANY job at the end of high school. I ended up in a completely unsuitable job for me and ended up with a pretty severe burnout.

Then as soon as I left it was all "How's the job hunting going?" "Have you got a job yet?" "Have you still not got a job?" and so on. From almost every family member, the first thing they would open every conversation with was the fact I didn't have a job.

I say this a lot on here, but it still feels like people are living in the past with their attitudes to employment. I think some people still genuinely believe that all you have to do is go down to the nearest factory, give the manager a good firm handshake, and then you have a job! Easy!

I know that applying for jobs feels like a full time job in itself.

Best of luck with your continued job hunting.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Retail jobs require "people skills", or at the very least, they are desired by employers and customers. It may have been a factor if the interviewer was sensing something "off" with your social skills. I don't know, obviously, but that is a possibility.

Perhaps some other job that has less "public interaction" may be appropriate,...just a suggestion. Those of us that do work with a team and with the public are constantly in a state of masking. Fake it till you make it. It will trash your brain after several hours. I have a lot of knowledge after some 35+ years in my line of work. I can go into great detail about the equipment that I use, but I would never be considered for, nor wish to apply for a position selling that equipment. I don't have the "gift of gab" to be able to "baffle people with the BS" and convince them to purchase. I know where my strengths and weaknesses lie.

 

[AspieChris]

Parents can be horrible when it comes to careers and education. My mom told me every chance she could “when are you going to quit that dead-end job and go to college!?!”

32 years later…. That dead-end job paid for my house and let me get married. We raised 3 kids on only my paycheck and I’ll be able to retire in a few years.

It’s not fair, but mom and dad think they know everything. That doesn’t mean they know anything. Sometimes you just have to stay strong. This too shall pass.

 

[chameleonov]

I know exactly how frustrating it is. It's both infuriating and so extremely energy draining to the point where the enthusiasm for finding a new job is running on fumes. I mean one rejection after the other, times a hundred. At my age, I have lost so much motivation and hope that I don't really care what happens next. After being on a couple of interviews recently and was expecting to finally get a new employment and got rejected after almost 2 months of recruitment process. I mean, what are these companies thinking? It's craziness.

I remember several years back when I finally got a permanent full time job and I did not have to search and apply to companies for a few years - there was so much relief from all that type of frustration. The fact that I did not have to see another job application form is what really motivated me coming into work every morning during those years. Seriously.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I am sorry you are having a hard time finding a job. Did you work at all in high school, or is this your first time looking for work?

If you are a university student, you do not have to work retail. My daughter is about your age and when I pointed out to her that she could work in any factory, any office, any worksite, even on a cruise ship or amtrak train, she was shocked. It hadn't occurred to her that the whole world of industry opened up to her at eighteen years old.

Have you considered the National Guard? You work one weekend a month, followed by one two week period per year. I believe that they pay $250 per credit hour of your tuition. Plus you get paid for your time on base.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

If you do want to work retail, here is something important. When interviewing for a job, it's important that you give that same smile that you would to any customer. Be confident, friendly, and full of solutions for any problem. Be the exemplary customer service representative that you will be for your customers. This may involve some acting. And that's okay. It can be a fun mask to wear.

Here is a video I saw in early adulthood. I was in culinary school, and the instructor played it for the class. It is called "Give them the Pickle". It is all about showing the best possible customer care that you can. Really going out of the way for the customer. Basically, show that you are that person in the interview.

 

[NyanbinaryNyahess]

I am sorry you are having a hard time finding a job. Did you work at all in high school, or is this your first time looking for work?

If you are a university student, you do not have to work retail. My daughter is about your age and when I pointed out to her that she could work in any factory, any office, any worksite, even on a cruise ship or amtrak train, she was shocked. It hadn't occurred to her that the whole world of industry opened up to her at eighteen years old.

Have you considered the National Guard? You work one weekend a month, followed by one two week period per year. I believe that they pay $250 per credit hour of your tuition. Plus you get paid for your time on base.

I didn’t work through high school, mostly because it was COVID times. But right before college, I applied to an on-campus convenience store job that I like. It is stressful for me to interact with so many people, but a lot of fun things happen when you’re surrounded by college students.

Unfortunately, most of the jobs on and off campus are retail. Probably like 95%. And I don’t have a car on campus, so I took what I got. I decided to apply for retail again because it’s what I’m used to, but it’s difficult. Hiring staff are more strict on who they want, and I’m also competing against other college students and high schoolers for the job, who probably have better social skills than me.

And nah, I haven’t and don’t really intend on it. I’m not a big fan of working for the military or army.

 

[NyanbinaryNyahess]

Retail jobs require "people skills", or at the very least, they are desired by employers and customers. It may have been a factor if the interviewer was sensing something "off" with your social skills. I don't know, obviously, but that is a possibility.

Perhaps some other job that has less "public interaction" may be appropriate,...just a suggestion. Those of us that do work with a team and with the public are constantly in a state of masking. Fake it till you make it. It will trash your brain after several hours. I have a lot of knowledge after some 35+ years in my line of work. I can go into great detail about the equipment that I use, but I would never be considered for, nor wish to apply for a position selling that equipment. I don't have the "gift of gab" to be able to "baffle people with the BS" and convince them to purchase. I know where my strengths and weaknesses lie.

Yeah, maybe. The last interview said that the job I applied for was no longer available, and the other available positions were full-time so I had to move on. Not to mention that they were in the meat department, and I wouldn't trust me, a depressed and auDHD person, to operate a meat slicer.

I’m trying my best to find other jobs, but I want a retail job since it’d be the easiest transition from my retail university job. I also struggle with convincing others to buy, but I don’t have too many other options at this point. This sounds odd, but I avoid restaurants because I have bad memory and constantly being surrounded by food triggers my disordered eating. And I can’t seem to find part-time desk jobs or library jobs since they’ve been taken (even though I started applying after my finals ended).

It really sounds like I’m whining and complaining, which I am, but I just want a job I’m more comfortable with. I don’t want a job that constantly makes me feel ill or stressed.

 

[NyanbinaryNyahess]

If you do want to work retail, here is something important. When interviewing for a job, it's important that you give that same smile that you would to any customer. Be confident, friendly, and full of solutions for any problem. Be the exemplary customer service representative that you will be for your customers. This may involve some acting. And that's okay. It can be a fun mask to wear.

Here is a video I saw in early adulthood. I was in culinary school, and the instructor played it for the class. It is called "Give them the Pickle". It is all about showing the best possible customer care that you can. Really going out of the way for the customer. Basically, show that you are that person in the interview.

Ha, yeah, I try. I work at a small convenience store on my university campus during the school year, and I don’t have to deal with that as much. It’s a small store, and people just get what they want and leave.

The expectations is much different in these retail settings, and man. I’m not a people-person and was just hoping to get a job stocking or doing someone’s online pick-up order. It’s hard for me to fake being sociable and welcoming, but I’ll try next time if there is one. Have no results from my current interview yet. I’m depressed, and I’ve always considered smiling at strangers to be a weird overfriendly American thing despite being an American. And I struggle with understanding social cues or situations sometimes, so that doesn’t exactly help either.

 

[Outdated]

Just a quick tip that might be helpful, especially so if you're determined to work retail.

Forget about answering ads and stop using the phone. Choose companies you think you would like to work for, dress in work appropriate clothes, and walk through the door and talk to people. It takes a bit of guts the first couple of times but you'll be surprised at how many people respond well to this. Your first sale - sell yourself.

 

[AspieChris]

What about a government job? The hiring process is usually very straight forward, and it could turn into a forever-job (never need to job hunt again). I was blessed to get hired at a huge telephone company, 2 months after finishing high school. The United States Post Office is ALWAYS hiring.

I don’t like my job anymore, but I hate it less than the thought of ever going through what’s happening to you.

 

[NyanbinaryNyahess]

What about a government job? The hiring process is usually very straight forward, and it could turn into a forever-job (never need to job hunt again). I was blessed to get hired at a huge telephone company, 2 months after finishing high school. The United States Post Office is ALWAYS hiring.

I don’t like my job anymore, but I hate it less than the thought of ever going through what’s happening to you.

Maybe—I’ll try looking into it if my current endeavors don’t work out ))

 

[NyanbinaryNyahess]

Just a quick tip that might be helpful, especially so if you're determined to work retail.

Forget about answering ads and stop using the phone. Choose companies you think you would like to work for, dress in work appropriate clothes, and walk through the door and talk to people. It takes a bit of guts the first couple of times but you'll be surprised at how many people respond well to this. Your first sale - sell yourself.

I have zero self-confidence but thank you!

 

[Aspychata]

I did get a job that way. I walk into a retail store and asked if they had any shifts. And they did. I just talked to the manager.

 

[AspieChris]

I did get a job that way. I walk into a retail store and asked if they had any shifts. And they did. I just talked to the manager.

I almost forgot that I had a job in high school for a few months. Same situation. I walked into an arcade (it was 1991, I’m old) and asked for an application, they hired me on the spot.

It’s difficult for us. Talking to someone unknown is like going off to war in a foreign land. But it’s difficult for a store manager too. NT’s sometimes just need a person, any person, to sweep the floor or unload a truck. And they’re usually overwhelmed and overworked. You could be that person who seems normal enough in person and means that they don’t have to spend an hour looking at resumes.