Struggling with drastic changes in my life.

[KingofKings696]

I am not too good at opening up and talking about issues in my life so I apologize if this is a bit of a mess but hopefully I can get help with dealing with my current situation. So back in December I slipped in tub landing straight on my knee. I haven't been able to work since.

I ended up spending 3 months in my apartment using a computer chair to get around because I thought I could fix it myself. I finally ended up going to the hospital because it started to hurt to breathe found out I had a pulmonary embolism in both lungs with a portion of left lung dead (they said it'll heal itself).

Ended up losing my apartment while in ICU at hospital but was told it was not safe for me to go back anyways due to my limited mobility. So I ended up spending 2months in a rehab facility so I could safely go home where I am currently with my dad.

Now this is where my issues really arise and where I'm asking you all for your assistance in dealing with my situation as I simply dont know how to handle this as I've always been able to manage everything myself. I am still fairly limited on mobility and using a Walker for short distances. So I cant go outside any do any of those hobbies and my dad has no internet or TV beyond a basic antenna for a couple crappy channels.

I feel like I have nothing to look forward to and for last month or so since coming to my dad's house I've had so little motivation that I basically lay in bed all day doing nothing and just laying here. I have tried to convince him that not having internet is causing me distress and hopelessness but I dont feel he is understanding it.

As a side note when I was in my apartment for those 3 months where I wasn't leaving I had internet and felt content with that. I was stressed with my financial situation but otherwise was ok but everytime I talked to him during that time he would mention me being depressed.

My point is now without having internet or any outlets I AM depressed but he doesn't get it. I guess without being able to do anything I don't know how to stay positive and how to keep motivated and really care about anything there's been multiple days I didn't even eat because I didn't even feel motivated to even do basic life functions despite my stomach hurting and knowing I needed to eat especially as a hypoglycemic.

I am sorry for such a long post but I'm basically at a point where I simply dont know how to fix it. Oh also I did offer to attempt to sell some of my belongings to pay for the internet and he doesn't say no but he puts off the impression that even then he still wouldn't do it.

Oh and if it makes any difference I am 29 years old with aspergers diagnosed back in middle school and my main hobbies are disc golf bowling and online gaming.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi

A bit confused, because if there is no internet, how can you come here, for one needs internet access to use this site? I can only assume you are using roaming on your mobile phone and if that is the case, why can you not use that method for the time being?

I do kind of see your father's point of view. But then again, when I was younger, there was no such things as internet and so, my hobbies were reading and reading and reading lol and then, discovered cross stitching and thus, that too.

The thing is, you are not going to live there for ever and so, for a speedy recovery, use "getting back to your appartment and internet" as your motivation and eat and well, get to know your dad ie talk with each other and suggest if there are any board games?

He is probably seeing that once you are gone, he is lumbered with paying for something that he has no wish for and why, he is reluctant to oblige.

I get the change in routine, but since we do live in a nt prominent world, we have to wise up to some things.

 

[KingofKings696]

First off yes I am using a phone to post my messages on here. 2ndly it's the ability to game with my friends online that is the big issue with not having internet. I also am thinking it'll be 6 to 12 months before I am physically able to go back to work. Also I agree there is most definitely a generational disconnect. Also I do talk with my dad and we do occasionally play games however with just the 2 of us it can get a bit boring fairly quickly. Also I've never handled change well so it is quite a struggle for me.

With all that said I do appreciate the advice on using getting better as motivation I think I've been just so focused on not having my typical outlets and routines that I was missing the positives.

 

[Mary Terry]

I understand you have limited mobility but can you go to a WiFi cafe or public library to use the internet? Maybe your dad can drop you off at such a place once in a while so you can get your internet "fix" for several hours?

 

[KingofKings696]

Technically he probably could however I need my desktop as my laptop isnt powerful to run the games and apps to talk with friends. I really do appreciate the suggestion though

 

[BraidedPony]

Depression is understandable and common as a result of health issues.
Try to exercise, especially those that help your knee that you may have learned in physical therapy. ie: strenghtening the muscles that support the knee.
Eat!
Accept that dad isnt going to get you internet.
Consider visiting your doctor and asking if taking an antidepressant short term would be appropriate.
I feel for you about the lack of internet though....

 

[china autie]

I am sorry for your situation. Are you eligible for temporary disability or anything? If maybe and you haven't applied for it do so. And pay your dad a set amount for rent.

When I had a medical severely limiting my mobility, I learned to use a chair to help me. I would sit on a chair, vacuum or sweep around me, then move the chair to another part of the floor or rug.

I used a chair to do dishes.

Boring stuff I know but I had no one to help me so I had to learn this stuff on my own.

Cooking is a fine hobby and useful. Maybe bring a chair into the kitchen and cook dinner for your dad, or even a simple breakfast, and then do the dishes afterwards.

I know these suggestions are not what you want.

Convincing someone to do what they do not want to do for you is futile.

Hobbies: knitting or crochet or sewing maybe cosplay outfits related to your games. Or blankets for vets at the hospital or people at your local homeless or domestic violence shelter.

Start a blog. It is harder with a phone but not impossible. I too am on a phone. I have no internet or television at home due to my current finances.

Paint figurines or other stuff related to the games you like. Then when you have your own place again, you will have them to put on your desk and fiddle with.

Write fanfic: stories of characters related to your games.

Learn something new from a book. Read.

Become a solitaire card game wiz.

Work logic puzzles in those magazines they have for that. Useful to gaming and life.

Are you in physical therapy for your knee? Do the prescribed exercises. I have been in pt many times in my adult life and doing what they suggested at home helped.

I do not mean to sound harsh. The problem is that when we are temporarily dependent on others for shelter, we have less freedom to do as we wish.

I am truly sorry for your situation.

 

[KingofKings696]

I am trying to get disability but from everything I've read it is a long and tedious process with a very low success rate. I do have a stool by stove and microwave so I can cook and have a couple times since here but especially this last week or so I had less motivation and really ate a bare minimum despite knowing how bad it is for my health. Also I loved some of the suggestions for things I could do to possibly entertain myself at least a little. Also I do understand that my attempts to convince him are futile and that living under someone else's roof I have to abide by their rules I think it is simply all the changes and the feeling of not having any control over my life after working so hard to become independent and feel like I could make it on my own.

Lastly I try to take no medicine unless it's an absolute necessity such as my xarelto. Otherwise like a tylenol or ibuprofen only if I'm in excruciating pain to make it so I can function. Again thank you all for your help and suggestions I really do appreciate it.

 

[shysnail]

I don't have any real suggestions, I just wanted to express sympathy for your situation. First that you've hurt yourself, and also that you're feeling so low with the disruption of your normal routine and the taking away of your key enjoyments. I understand how awful that is. I've felt similarly desolate without internet. I think people who don't spend a lot of time online don't see the attraction, but those of us who do, it's a huge part of our life and where we feel happy and comfortable.

So yes, no advice, just commiserations and the hope that your recovery is as speedy as possible.