Struggling with intrusive thoughts... again.

[8crismon]

Worrying if my intrusive thoughts are denial despite evidence to the contrary. I know they are intrusive thoughts because when I push back, they come back on hard. I know they aren't really me because of how much they distress me. I know they aren't denial because I talk to my family about them, a lot. I KNOW IT'S OCD BECAUSE IT IS ALL I THINK ABOUT DAY IN, AND DAY OUT. Yet, I still worry about "what if".

 

[Chimorin]

Worrying if my intrusive thoughts are denial despite evidence to the contrary. I know they are intrusive thoughts because when I push back, they come back on hard. I know they aren't really me because of how much they distress me. I know they aren't denial because I talk to my family about them, a lot. I KNOW IT'S OCD BECAUSE IT IS ALL I THINK ABOUT DAY IN, AND DAY OUT. Yet, I still worry about "what if".

I feel you on that. If you don’t mind me asking, what do your intrusive thoughts revolve around? I’m in a similar boat as well you see, one intrusive thought bothers me for months, try to suppress it to no avail, finally deal with that one, and then another one comes in and wreaks havoc, repeat. Very tiresome.

 

[Tom]

Yeah they are a pain. And I believe most times they aren't you. They are some sort of response to some deep/troubling issue or event and just thoughts. I never had much luck battling them. I didn't worry much about acting them out, that felt ridiculous it is just the annoying aspect of the thoughts themselves. But they do seem to fade over time.

 

[8crismon]

I feel you on that. If you don’t mind me asking, what do your intrusive thoughts revolve around? I’m in a similar boat as well you see, one intrusive thought bothers me for months, try to suppress it to no avail, finally deal with that one, and then another one comes in and wreaks havoc, repeat. Very tiresome.

For a good part of the year, it was "Am I gay?" Now it's "Am I trans?" because whenever I try to imagine how I see myself in my head( a dark-brown-haired anime boy), it flips to this fish-lipped Voldemort bratz knock-off. It stresses me the out and makes the muscles in my head tight.

 

[8crismon]

Yeah they are a pain. And I believe most times they aren't you. They are some sort of response to some deep/troubling issue or event and just thoughts. I never had much luck battling them. I didn't worry much about acting them out, that felt ridiculous it is just the annoying aspect of the thoughts themselves. But they do seem to fade over time.

What about when the subject is everywhere?

 

[AutisticMilly]

The good news about this is:

1. Sexual orientation and gender identity related OCD themes are extremely common.
2. ERP therapy works, and is a viable treatment for OCD.

Of course, therapy is not always a viable option, due to cost. But, if you do have the funds to pursue ERP therapy (with a therapist that specializes in OCD, not just any therapist), it can help set you on the track to relief.

Have you heard of NOCD? It’s a service that can get you connected with a therapist that specializes in OCD treatment and ERP. They are an online-only service, and work with clients regardless of location.

There are also OCD communities online and in-person. The IOCDF has a list of in-person meeting sites on their website.

I understand how you are feeling. I haven’t personally experienced these themes myself, but I have lived through periods of relapse and recovery from OCD. I thought it would kill me- but I won’t let it, and neither should you. We have to keep on living.