struggling with losing someone

[Jonathan Lees]

so aspergers, social anxiety low self esteem etc. have all traditionally made dating and relationships a struggle. im told im attractive and im nice, friendly and intelligent etc. but normally my issues make relationships too difficult, ive been on many dates but rarely do i have any interest in the other people as i feel i need a very specific type of person who can help me be more comfortable.

around 6 months ago i met this beautiful Australian traveller woman, we clicked pretty much straight away and met up like 5 times over the next two weeks, over the last 6 months weve been seeing each other a lot and having a great time and ive become very close to her, shes the first person ive ever truly been interested in, the only person ive ever loved and is the exact sort of person i need.

however her visa just ran out so shes had to move abroad and is travelling and wont be back for years at which point things will likely be different, im happy for her travelling and having amazing experiences but since im tied down here for my final year of university and my masters degree im now alone, we keep in contact but its no relationship and im struggling now that shes gone.

i dont know if ill ever meet another person i like so much and i am struggling with the thought of years of loneliness while i wait for another person so special.

anyone else been in a similar situation? its like so rare i connect with someone that makes me feel especially bad now shes gone.
any advice on coping?

 

[nowwhat]

Loneliness, unfortunately, is part of life. I too, connect with very few people, and they have all gone away. What're you going to do? It is what it is. Don't hold out hope for this girl, though something might develop. But, most likely, your paths will not cross again. Yes, you will eventually meet someone you like as much, and there's no telling how that will play out.

As far as coping, do what you must and know that eventually, it will get better. Might take a couple of months, or a couple of years. Or you might be like that George Jones song.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

Thanks, I think our paths will cross again but don't worry I have no illusions about it, things and situations will be different.

 

[WereBear]

It is wonderful that you and she had this experience. And it is only human to feel that such a wonderful match is unique and special. Because it is.

But then again, there are lots of people who are unique and special. You just need a way of meeting more of this kind.

This gift can be duplicated if you spend some time figuring out what this taught you about yourself, and how you can project the qualities which attracted her so others can see them too.

We trip ourselves up when we try to "fit in" too much, or be something we are not. This is the essence of the advice "Be yourself." Find more ways you can show your true self, so other people can see it. And some of them will think: "Wow, that person is something I like."

Pretending will never get you that.