Stuck in a rut

[As sweet as-pie]

I think this is probably the right place for this, if not then I apologise.
Long story short I finished school 2 years ago, I failed to go to sixth form/college afterwards due to social anxiety and have been trying ever since to get into education and/or employment.

I've applied for college again this year but I've failed to go to the interview, there's also a social group for autistic young adults which I was going to go to but I failed to go. I've missed every psychiatric appointment I've had since January.

I am at a very bad place with my anxiety and I have become very disillusioned due to the lack of support available to me. When explaining my anxiety and struggles attending to both the autistic "support" organisation and my psychiatrist, both responded with "well, ring us back when you can come", instead of offering support or strategies to enable me to do this.

I feel as if unless I miraculously come up with a solution myself or cure my anxiety overnight, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm not sure what to do.

I'm terrified of the idea of an interview for a job but when I got past that I think I'd be able to do the actual work if it involved minimal interaction with the public. I recently tried to volunteer in a charity shop but again, I avoided it. I struggle a lot with avoidance and it becomes a cycle of anxiety and depression which I can't get out of.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life sat at home on disability benefits and not make something out of myself but I have no idea what I can do. Has anyone been in a similar situation with severe anxiety and managed to get out of it? Or has anyone got any advice on what to do in my situation? Thanks.

 

[Judge]

Sounds a lot like me. Though I've never had any benefits to offset my social anxiety. Only meds. Agreed though, it's a terrible "rut" to be caught in.

The one thing that allowed me "out of the abyss" temporarily was to seek a pharmaceutical product through a medical doctor that would alleviate my social anxiety symptoms enough to get through a job interview and be able to interact with others enough to perform the necessary job duties.

Though in my case those meds came at a cost, as much later it was determined that this medication had toxic side effects, leaving people with an irregular heartbeat. (Mellaril/Thioridizine- a "beta blocker".)

Of course that was many years ago, and hopefully you might seek something that works for you without such side effects or risks.

I eventually chose to discard the medication, and feel fortunate that my levels of social anxiety have diminished over time. Though possibly because I remain self employed, not having to rely upon anyone but myself. I owe no one anything, and it makes life much easier for me this particular respect. And I live more or less in a state of semi-isolation by choice, though at times it is a lonely existence.

 

[toothless]

as-sweet-as-pie,im sorry your suffering with social anxiety,i cant imagine what its like as ive never had it but i know anxiety is terrible when it isnt mild.
i suffer from extreme anxiety and it triggers severe challenging behaviors so for many years i have had diazepam,temazepam and currently lorazepam which are all part of the benzodiazepine family of medications, which calms anxiety very well but in largish doses causes addiction-of lorazepam;i get 2mg a day,diaz and temaz was 5mg.

i honestly recommend seeing your shrink and asking if you could try diaz/or loraz etc as a PRN medication,these benzos start working roughly after 10 minutes but if he doesnt agree with prescribing it you could always ask for a anti pyschotic as a PRN which takes roughly 30 minutes to help with anxiety and calm you.
#you could perhaps arrange something nice to happen straight after the appointment,like two days before or so;ordering something nice on the internet to come to your house the day of the appointment so then youve got something to look forward to and it could give you motivation to see the shrink.

Though in my case those meds came at a cost, as much later it was determined that this medication had toxic side effects, leaving people with an irregular heartbeat. (Mellaril/Thioridizine- a "beta blocker".)

Of course that was many years ago, and hopefully you might seek something that works for you without such side effects or risks.

I eventually chose to discard the medication, and feel fortunate that my levels of social anxiety have diminished over time. Though possibly because I remain self employed, not having to rely upon anyone but myself. I owe no one anything, and it makes life much easier for me this particular respect. And I live more or less in a state of semi-isolation by choice, though at times it is a lonely existence.

theres propanalol now;another beta blocker,it works for various anxieties, my sister has been on it for what the doctor believed was social anxiety disorder [she should have been diagnosed aspie],it helped her with doing presentations in her uni though as she does [or did] experience social anxiety.

 

[As sweet as-pie]

Sounds a lot like me. Though I've never had any benefits to offset my social anxiety. Only meds. Agreed though, it's a terrible "rut" to be caught in.

The one thing that allowed me "out of the abyss" temporarily was to seek a pharmaceutical product through a medical doctor that would alleviate my social anxiety symptoms enough to get through a job interview and be able to interact with others enough to perform the necessary job duties.

Though in my case those meds came at a cost, as much later it was determined that this medication had toxic side effects, leaving people with an irregular heartbeat. (Mellaril/Thioridizine- a "beta blocker".)

Of course that was many years ago, and hopefully you might seek something that works for you without such side effects or risks.

I eventually chose to discard the medication, and feel fortunate that my levels of social anxiety have diminished over time. Though possibly because I remain self employed, not having to rely upon anyone but myself. I owe no one anything, and it makes life much easier for me this particular respect. And I live more or less in a state of semi-isolation by choice, though at times it is a lonely existence.

Thank you for your reply, Judge.
Most people tell me pretty much the same thing, that the best route is to take meds to get yourself into an uncomfortable situation to start with and then over time you will become less anxious. However, I'm very hesitant to take meds due to the side effects, admittedly they're less toxic nowadays, but still. Perhaps they're becoming my only option.

 

[As sweet as-pie]

as-sweet-as-pie,im sorry your suffering with social anxiety,i cant imagine what its like as ive never had it but i know anxiety is terrible when it isnt mild.
i suffer from extreme anxiety and it triggers severe challenging behaviors so for many years i have had diazepam,temazepam and currently lorazepam which are all part of the benzodiazepine family of medications, which calms anxiety very well but in largish doses causes addiction-of lorazepam;i get 2mg a day,diaz and temaz was 5mg.

i honestly recommend seeing your shrink and asking if you could try diaz/or loraz etc as a PRN medication,these benzos start working roughly after 10 minutes but if he doesnt agree with prescribing it you could always ask for a anti pyschotic as a PRN which takes roughly 30 minutes to help with anxiety and calm you.
#you could perhaps arrange something nice to happen straight after the appointment,like two days before or so;ordering something nice on the internet to come to your house the day of the appointment so then youve got something to look forward to and it could give you motivation to see the shrink.


theres propanalol now;another beta blocker,it works for various anxieties, my sister has been on it for what the doctor believed was social anxiety disorder [she should have been diagnosed aspie],it helped her with doing presentations in her uni though as she does [or did] experience social anxiety.

I'm very hesitant to take any form of medication. My shrink suggested Sertraline because I suffer from PTSD too, but that has a lot of side effects and unfortunately I'm not prepared to make that trade just yet. Thank you for your reply though.

 

[Judge]

I'm very hesitant to take any form of medication. My shrink suggested Sertraline because I suffer from PTSD too, but that has a lot of side effects and unfortunately I'm not prepared to make that trade just yet. Thank you for your reply though.

Your instincts are sound enough. TBH, going through "drug therapy" wasn't a pleasant process for me. I had to go through a lot of stress before settling on something that worked, but with side effects.

Though nothing remains so stressful to me as does any job interview.

Most interactions where someone has distinct leverage over me don't go so well, for whatever reasons.

 

[toothless]

I'm very hesitant to take any form of medication. My shrink suggested Sertraline because I suffer from PTSD too, but that has a lot of side effects and unfortunately I'm not prepared to make that trade just yet. Thank you for your reply though.

ah no problem as-sweet-as-pie,i respect anyones personal decision,my sister is very similar about meds,she wont even take paracetemol when she has a bad headache.
im on sertraline,and for me i had no starting side effects apart from an on/off bad headache for a few days, but it didnt work on my OCD, anxiety or depression plus i get pyschosis issues with SSRIs,new shrink is changing it for me.

 

[8398]

I'm in a similar situation except right now it's a struggle to complete high school. I tried going everyday with anxiety but eventually it caused Irritable Bowl Syndrome symptoms and everything worsened. And I agree, I also don't want to ever take meds. My mom doesn't want me to take them either but she is fine with herbal cures. I haven't thought on what herbal sort of things could help for getting though starting out life, but there is this drink called kombucha that has relaxed me in situations known to cause anxiety for me. And I'm talking about the non-alcoholic kind. BUT it still has a tad in it, and I'm suspecting that's what helps. I'm going to do research to see if I could possibly have too much of it or what. If it seems like a good idea perhaps I can craft myself a bunch of batches as we have the supplies lol.
You're a year younger and have done, tried and figured out much more than me, we have so much time ahead of ourselves so I wouldn't feel hopeless. Good luck!!! I'll let you know if I find something better.

 

[As sweet as-pie]

ah no problem as-sweet-as-pie,i respect anyones personal decision,my sister is very similar about meds,she wont even take paracetemol when she has a bad headache.
im on sertraline,and for me i had no starting side effects apart from an on/off bad headache for a few days, but it didnt work on my OCD, anxiety or depression plus i get pyschosis issues with SSRIs,new shrink is changing it for me.

I think I'd much rather use a benzo short-term to offset some anxiety, than a long term medication like an SSRI. My shrink won't put me on benzo's but I know that you can get them from a gp, my sister got put on a 3 day course of them when she was starting college to get her through it. Do you think this is something I should talk to my gp about? I'm seriously considering fast-acting anti anxiety meds just to get me into situations I'm afraid of, just unsure of how to go about it.

 

[Ambi]

I think this is probably the right place for this, if not then I apologise.
Long story short I finished school 2 years ago, I failed to go to sixth form/college afterwards due to social anxiety and have been trying ever since to get into education and/or employment.

I've applied for college again this year but I've failed to go to the interview, there's also a social group for autistic young adults which I was going to go to but I failed to go. I've missed every psychiatric appointment I've had since January.

I am at a very bad place with my anxiety and I have become very disillusioned due to the lack of support available to me. When explaining my anxiety and struggles attending to both the autistic "support" organisation and my psychiatrist, both responded with "well, ring us back when you can come", instead of offering support or strategies to enable me to do this.

I feel as if unless I miraculously come up with a solution myself or cure my anxiety overnight, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm not sure what to do.

I'm terrified of the idea of an interview for a job but when I got past that I think I'd be able to do the actual work if it involved minimal interaction with the public. I recently tried to volunteer in a charity shop but again, I avoided it. I struggle a lot with avoidance and it becomes a cycle of anxiety and depression which I can't get out of.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life sat at home on disability benefits and not make something out of myself but I have no idea what I can do. Has anyone been in a similar situation with severe anxiety and managed to get out of it? Or has anyone got any advice on what to do in my situation? Thanks.

So I've had major social anxiety my whole life, it made life hell. Actually, I don't think I'd say I really have it anymore. But here's what helped for me - I was originally diagnosed with depression and given a medication for that (Zoloft). The side effects weren't great for me, and I realized I seemed to actually have an issue with anxiety as well - so I was put on a medicine that (at least back then) was believed to also help with anxiety - Paxil. (Now the best medications may have all changed, I have no idea). While on that medication, which did help control some of my anxiety, I made addressing social anxiety a major focus/project. I think the most helpful book I read about the topic was "Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe". I made a strong point of applying everything I learned in that book - while I was on the medication, it was WAY easier to do this - to initiate greetings, basics like that. People actually came to know me as the nice girl! I couldn't believe it - I had always been considered the ***** or weird girl. I don't think the book taught me to be a naturally sociable person - it just taught me enough to get by, which was a huge help in just getting on with university and work - the social anxiety no longer stopped me, even after I got off the medicine, because by then I had practiced enough and I was habituated to it. I still feel awkward in social situations at times, but I can easily push through, before I couldn't. I still have a long way to go to gain more depth of understanding when it comes to social interactions, but I am just so glad to be rid of the trap of social anxiety, at least!