Stuck in bed

[daniegirl6224]

My partner just tried to nicely pressure me out of bed when I’m having a burnout & can’t get out of bed. I completely broke down in tears. I feel so much shame/embarrassment over not being able to get out of bed. I have been trying to for hours. Do you go through this? It’s not depression, it’s the autism.

 

[FayetheAspie]

How can autism by itself keep you from getting up? Are you sure there is not some other factor whether physical or psychological?

 

[Rodafina]

I am having that very feeling today. Just worn out - physically very tired and a limited mental capacity for handling conversation and sensory stimulation.

Is this a once in a while thing or something that occurs frequently and for days at a time? Is there an important reason for you to get out of bed but you still can't? When you say you try to get out of bed but can't, what do you try and what prevents you from being successful?

For me, on days like this, I partially just give in and let myself have the rest and quiet that I need. I say partially give in because I always get up at least a few times and get out with my dog, Rocky. He gives me a reason to get out of bed every single day - not due to the fact that he brings such joy and comfort (even though he does), but because he has basic needs that I signed up to meet. In between walks and snacks, we are having a quiet and sedentary day together and it feels okay. But, if I'm like this again tomorrow, I will start to feel frustrated with myself and push myself to be more active and engaged in the day.

 

[daniegirl6224]

How can autism by itself keep you from getting up? Are you sure there is not some other factor whether physical or psychological?

Attached

 

[Judge]

My partner just tried to nicely pressure me out of bed when I’m having a burnout & can’t get out of bed. I completely broke down in tears. I feel so much shame/embarrassment over not being able to get out of bed. I have been trying to for hours. Do you go through this? It’s not depression, it’s the autism.

It's Sunday. Isn't there a law against anyone being forced out of bed for any reason at all ?

Then again in my own case at this time of year I'm apt to not want to get up until I hear my heater cycle through to the maximum temp. Otherwise I usually have to force myself out of bed. Unless of course one feels compelled to get out and celebrate Lee's birthday....which I understand is no longer done in these times...not even in the Old Dominion.

Seriously though, I don't think one should be pushed to do much of anything contrary to their traits and behaviors. Though I suppose it can also be a point of contention with NTs whether significant others or not.

To me this is comparable to someone with the good intention of attempting to actively "talk someone down" from a shutdown or meltdown. When such good intentions can be a bad idea. Explain to him this is a place he should NEVER go.....at least IMHO. I would never advocate to intervene over such a thing in real time. Never. It's something that most if not all of us on the spectrum must manage on our own terms.

 

[daniegirl6224]

Is this a once in a while thing or something that occurs frequently and for days at a time? Is there an important reason for you to get out of bed but you still can't? When you say you try to get out of bed but can't, what do you try and what prevents you from being successful?

I struggle most days due to demand avoidance & trouble initiating tasks. But when it is severe it lasts for hours/days and it is due to burnout too, which has been happening every 1-2 weeks (I’ve had a lot of stressors lately so it may be more frequent than usual).

 

[Judge]

I struggle most days due to demand avoidance & trouble initiating tasks. But when it is severe it lasts for hours/days and it is due to burnout too, which has been happening every 1-2 weeks (I’ve had a lot of stressors lately so it may be more frequent than usual).

Understandable, whether work-related or not. You are in a profession documented with a considerable degree of professional burnout. Something I observed for a long time with my sister-in-law who was a registered nurse for some thirty five years or more, until a stroke forced her retirement.

Hang in there...

To me, nurses are amazing people for the most part. More so than doctors who may think as such about themselves, but who don't always measure up in terms of dedication to their patients.

 

[Rodafina]

@daniegirl6224,
It sounds like you are just trying to see if you are not alone in this rather than seeing it as a problem that you would like to change.

I think if your life is full of stressful demands and you have to shut down and stay in bed once in awhile, that's just a survival strategy. Shutting down and needing to recharge in bed seems problematic to me when it is is:
a) related to depression
b) affecting job attendance
c) negatively impacting someone else (like someone who is dependent on you)
d) negatively affecting your health due to inactivity or poor hygiene

Regardless, even when stuck in bed, remember to drink water and eat proper food if you can. Without these things, it could become a self-perpetuating cycle.

 

[Xinyta]

It's Sunday. Isn't there a law against anyone being forced out of bed for any reason at all ?

I think it's the Sabbath you are referring to. That it is a sin to work on the seventh day. To instead rest, make marry, and rejoice.

Though whether it's Sunday or Saturday, is up to interpretation.

 

[Judge]

I think it's the Sabbath you are referring to. That it is a sin to work on the seventh day. To instead rest, make marry, and rejoice.

Though whether it's Sunday or Saturday, is up to interpretation.

Good point, though I was just being facetious about it. For some it really is a law.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

My partner just tried to nicely pressure me out of bed when I’m having a burnout & can’t get out of bed. I completely broke down in tears. I feel so much shame/embarrassment over not being able to get out of bed. I have been trying to for hours. Do you go through this? It’s not depression, it’s the autism.

There needs to be a mindset that autism is actually a chronic health condition. There's anatomy and physiology at play here. It isn't limited to social behaviors and communication difficulties. It has its own immunology. It effects fine motor skills. It has its own gastrointestinal issues.

The bottom line, being "burnt out" is inflammation from oxygen radical damage, immune dysfunction, neurotransmitter imbalances, and a higher-than-normal energy demand in the face of poor creatine metabolism and poor methylation processes resulting in lower-than-normal ATP production. Seriously, it's very complex and several metabolic processes are contributing. You need to eat fruits and veggies, drink water, and rest. Anything with simple sugars, saturated fats, or caffeine will exacerbate the situation.

Autism needs to be managed, not unlike conditions of the heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, pancreas, etc.

 

[daniegirl6224]

There needs to be a mindset that autism is actually a chronic health condition. There's anatomy and physiology at play here. It isn't limited to social behaviors and communication difficulties. It has its own immunology. It effects fine motor skills. It has its own gastrointestinal issues.

The bottom line, being "burnt out" is inflammation from oxygen radical damage, immune dysfunction, neurotransmitter imbalances, and a higher-than-normal energy demand in the face of poor creatine metabolism and poor methylation processes resulting in lower-than-normal ATP production. Seriously, it's very complex and several metabolic processes are contributing. You need to eat fruits and veggies, drink water, and rest. Anything with simple sugars, saturated fats, or caffeine will exacerbate the situation.

Autism needs to be managed, not unlike conditions of the heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, pancreas, etc.

Wow!!! I’m going to have to learn about this a lot more! Thank you

 

[daniegirl6224]

Good info on burnout attached

 

[Judge]

Reminds me of how constant masking can wear me down. Not something to be perpetuated indefinitely under any circumstances.

Puts most of us into a situation of feeling like "Cinderella".

 

[daniegirl6224]

@daniegirl6224,
It sounds like you are just trying to see if you are not alone in this rather than seeing it as a problem that you would like to change.

I think if your life is full of stressful demands and you have to shut down and stay in bed once in awhile, that's just a survival strategy. Shutting down and needing to recharge in bed seems problematic to me when it is is:
a) related to depression
b) affecting job attendance
c) negatively impacting someone else (like someone who is dependent on you)
d) negatively affecting your health due to inactivity or poor hygiene

Regardless, even when stuck in bed, remember to drink water and eat proper food if you can. Without these things, it could become a self-perpetuating cycle.

Yes I was mostly looking for someone who can relate so that I don’t feel so alone in it. Looks like prevention of burnout is key, going to see what things I can change to help prevent the burnout.
Thank you for your reply

 

[Neri]

I've had it really chronically too many times to count. For me, the trick is, to not compound my autistic burnout by adding depression, related to the burnout, to the mix. I just have to ride it out; avoid social contact, indulge in special interests, if my brain and energy levels allow for it, eat vegetables, good fats (saturated, stable fats), and proteins that my body can actually handle (not pulses as they tend to be very hard on my compromised digestive system), hydrate well, take showers, as they do wonders for the overstressed vagus nerve, and just let myself rest and or sleep while trying not to add negative self talk and self esteem lowering attitudes toward myself for being "unproductive".

 

[daniegirl6224]

I've had it really chronically too many times to count. For me, the trick is, to not compound my autistic burnout by adding depression, related to the burnout, to the mix. I just have to ride it out; avoid social contact, indulge in special interests, if my brain and energy levels allow for it, eat vegetables, good fats (saturated, stable fats), and proteins that my body can actually handle (not pulses as they tend to be very hard on my compromised digestive system), hydrate well, take showers, as they do wonders for the overstressed vagus nerve, and just let myself rest and or sleep while trying not to add negative self talk and self esteem lowering attitudes toward myself for being "unproductive".

Thank you Neri. I’m sorry to hear you struggle with this too. Knowing you do helps me not feel quite so alone with it - thank you. I am definitely too hard on myself during burn outs due to not being productive- I need to work on this & focus on the self care thank you

 

[gj13]

When I'm stuck in bed like that, I try to break the task up and avoid thinking about the end goal of getting out of bed.
For example, I start with something small, like opening my eyes (if they are shut). I don't even think about getting out of bed, just opening my eyes that's the focus. Then I take another small step, maybe moving my head side to side and looking around. Next, perhaps removing the blanket a bit lower to uncover an arm. Eventually I will have the blanket off and then I can work my way to a small goal of sitting up and then eventually my feet on the ground while still sitting on the edge of the bed.
Eventually you will hopefully get to a position where you can stand. Once you are standing, well you've gotten out of bed, but at no point were you thinking about getting out of bed. I find when I hit one of those smaller goals I get a small sense of accomplishment which triggers the reward system and releases happy chemicals which tends to elevate my mood incrementally with each small step.

It can be challenging to reason like this when in a burnout state, but you could try practising when not in a burnout state, kind of like exercising so you build up the muscle memory.

Ideally, avoiding burnouts is best, but they happen. We also need to respect them because a burnout is a signal to slow down and do less of whatever triggered the burnout.
There's no need to get frustrated or beat yourself up about it. Take your time and aim for smaller goals. If you can't hit the smaller goals and you can't think of an alternative smaller goal then just rest until you can. Autism is a journey there will be good days and not so good days but patience is key and be kind to yourself

 

[blue_bird]

I know how that feels. I've got chronic fatigue and it's horrible. People just assume you're lazy and making meaningless excuses.

Try to eliminate stress and worry. Also a blood check might not be a bad thing. Particularly check out your iron levels and adrenal glands.