Stuck

[David Rosales]

I quit my job and left the UK to live with my mom, my sis, my brother-in-law and my niece.

I was having a very grim and sour experience which started 18 months back with one of my 'blue phases'.

I can't afford to stay here because the house is busy and I get anxious very easily. Sister got me into therapy and I just want to leave, get back to work and have my own space.

Should I endure the anguish of smothering family life or tolerate the emptyness of solitude?

 

[nowwhat]

Solitude. Far preferable. And work. Work, for those of is who can, is a gift to be appreciated.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

Move out and get a job if you can (but continue the therapy if it's helping you), but keep in touch with your family and visit occasionally.

 

[Judge]

Solitude is more often a friend than a foe.

 

[ksheehan88]

IMO, living by yourself is better.

Yes, you may get lonely BUT you can visit your family - living with them day in day out you don't get any peace... Living on your own, when it gets too much, you can retreat to your own place.

 

[nowwhat]

My opinion is that independence is a very high priority for aspies, due both to our social issues making it difficult for us to secure others' cooperation in achieving our goals, and to avoid official pigeonholing and state control of our lives.

Partially for this reason I have not sought an official diagnosis, as it would change my "status" re: employment and other things. Id rather be thought of as wierd and and asshole than risk my self determination and rights. Working for a living may be hell for this aspie, but I earn my keep and owe the state n9r anyone else naught but taxes and mortgage payments.

 

[David Rosales]

Thank you, everyone. Your response has shed light on my dilemma. I was shrouded in doubt but now I can see the situation much clearer.

Therapy will come as soon as the £ rolls in. Getting any of my old jobs back is the easiest part

 

[Caitie33]

My opinion is that independence is a very high priority for aspies, due both to our social issues making it difficult for us to secure others' cooperation in achieving our goals, and to avoid official pigeonholing and state control of our lives.

Partially for this reason I have not sought an official diagnosis, as it would change my "status" re: employment and other things. Id rather be thought of as wierd and and asshole than risk my self determination and rights. Working for a living may be hell for this aspie, but I earn my keep and owe the state n9r anyone else naught but taxes and mortgage payments.

I am not officially diagnosed either and I'm trying to decide if I should. IF I do then do I have to disclose that info to employers? I know some people say it is good because then you can get accommodations at work but it seems I've heard others say it seems like just a reason for you to be scrutinized more than others. I also would never want my employer to hire me for a low level position and never plan on me advancing because of my status. True I may not have difficulties because of my autism that may prevent me from advancing but at least I would have the chance to prove myself or not like everyone else. I'm just not sure if it would help me or not

 

[nowwhat]

I would advise against notification and even entering the system as an autiste of record. But then again, Im paranoid. I occasionally find true compassion from individuals, but would be an idiot to seek it from any organization, private or state. Can you really disagree? And, though I am scarred and battered, I own a home, work hard and make pretty good money, and my list of whom I can tell to f*ck off is no shorter than that of any NT. Relying on aid, assistance, charity, etc, just robs you of leverage in lifes daily power struggles. Better to find a way to make yourself USEFUL. That is all any employer or government cares about: what can you do for us, and what will it cost us?

 

[Caitie33]

I have a job and I don't depend on any assistance. I just wonder if anyone has any experience telling employers or coworkers and if it helped them or hurt them in their job? Sometimes when I have sensory overload I don't fully process what someone has told me or asked me to do, so I have to ask questions. I think this gives people the impression that I'm dumb or not listening which could reflect poorly on me at work for sure. I wonder if it would be better to tell them what is really happening and what would help me, i.e. don't show me something and talk to me at the same time. Also if you do get diagnosed do you legally have to disclose diagnoses to your employer?

 

[David Rosales]

I have a job and I don't...

I also find myself wondering if it's best to keep it to myself. Your struggles resonate with my experience at my last two jobs.

In my personal research I gathered the difference between one situation to another at work. Proper use of Neurolinguistic Programming from a manager is seldom seen, therefore those who fall behind even a tad bit statistically fall between the cracks of a mediocre modus operandi replicated worldwide.

Caitie33: if you haven't made catastrophic mistakes due to sensory issues I suppose you can get by quite well as you are now. Experience unveils the unknown

 

[Meg12]

I have a job and I don't depend on any assistance. I just wonder if anyone has any experience telling employers or coworkers and if it helped them or hurt them in their job? Sometimes when I have sensory overload I don't fully process what someone has told me or asked me to do, so I have to ask questions. I think this gives people the impression that I'm dumb or not listening which could reflect poorly on me at work for sure. I wonder if it would be better to tell them what is really happening and what would help me, i.e. don't show me something and talk to me at the same time. Also if you do get diagnosed do you legally have to disclose diagnoses to your employer?

I think how disclosure is received and acted upon depends on who you work for. Unfortunately, it could absolutely give someone the green light to take advantage. Sad but too real. Be careful who you share with.... the majority of people in my experience won't want to deal with it if it causes discomfort or more work for them.