Suggest a good book

[Unclewolverine]

I see that the book section is infrequently updated and with ever changing information can get out of date quickly. I saw a list of suggested books in a thread but forgot where. So I am asking for suggestions on books that helped you. Specifically middle aged guy with a family and stable job that I mostly enjoy. My main issues are communication with my wife and not being upset at life being harder for me than it had to be.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I like some aspects of American History. Two in particular: Nothing Like It in the World, by Stephen Ambrose, and, Irving Stone's, Men to Match My Mountains.

 

[Fino]

It might help to know that "being upset at life being harder for me than it had to be" doesn't make any sense, specifically the "than it had to be" part, specifically meaning "how hard did it have to be?" If it does not help to know that then just ignore me.

 

[watersprite]

On Dialogue

David Bohm

 

[unperson]

Candide by Voltaire, it's a quick read and very funny.

 

[Alexej]

On Dialogue

David Bohm

Thank you - just realised I have that one - but have not read it

 

[DX4STRM9POQN2]

As a child I was a fan of the Dragon keeper series and Deltora Quest.

 

[Unclewolverine]

I meant autism specific help books.
Also I just get depressed sometimes when my issues with communication cause friction in my life and I see how NTs can just do it so seamlessly. I often wish I was born 'normal.' As a kid I enjoyed being weird but as an adult it's really a pain.

 

[watersprite]

From the things and people you say you have all around in your life, you seem to have a very satisfying and rich life.

Communication is never seamless or achieved and then finished, unless you &/or the other person separate or die.

Look Me In The Eye is a good book about a highly gifted man - it’s by John Robinson who is on the spectrum like us.

 

[Suzette]

I meant autism specific help books.
Also I just get depressed sometimes when my issues with communication cause friction in my life and I see how NTs can just do it so seamlessly. I often wish I was born 'normal.' As a kid I enjoyed being weird but as an adult it's really a pain.

I think "how NTs can just do it so seamlessly" is not a thought that serves you well.
Just look at the volume of self help books written! Nearly 100% are written for NTs by NTs. NTs really don't find lifes questions any easier than an aspie.

 

[Unclewolverine]

From the things and people you say you have all around in your life, you seem to have a very satisfying and rich life.

Communication is never seamless or achieved and then finished, unless you &/or the other person separate or die.

Look Me In The Eye is a good book about a highly gifted man - it’s by John Robinson who is on the spectrum like us.

Don't get me wrong, my life is good and full! It's been a long, sometimes very hard road and I owe my wife everything for helping me get to where I am today. It's just stupid little things that an NT would easily catch, get blown up and cause big issues. Just always trying to get better at life. Did I mention my wife is a redhead? As time goes on her fuse has gotten shorter for my issues.

 

[unperson]

I meant autism specific help books.
Also I just get depressed sometimes when my issues with communication cause friction in my life and I see how NTs can just do it so seamlessly. I often wish I was born 'normal.' As a kid I enjoyed being weird but as an adult it's really a pain.

er autism specific help books, well, there's a plethora of them, but it's not really stuff that can be learnt from reading, if it was, we'd read em, but there's only limited stuff that can be taught if it's not hard wired.

If your wife's fuse is getting shorter, maybe she's got some problems of her own, people who marry us often have their own issues, maybe she needs to look into her own failings. Dunno the age group but menopause can make people cranky.

 

[watersprite]

@Unclewolverine It’s good to hear you’re awareness is there. Rhetorically speaking how is your fuse lately. I can only speak for myself that from time to time I have to get away from everything - even my loved ones - to find a new center and refresh my self.

I remember my grandparents saying that the middle years of life are hard because of how much one’s focus is on everyone else in the family and work. And then, one day >wham< those years are gone and one is left with one’s own self. I think what they were telllng me was to make sure I took care of myself, too.

 

[Tom]

Ah, I won't be much help I'm afraid. I have very narrow reading interests (one being Waterloo) and once I get a book, if it's useful will read it over and over to tease out facts from fiction. In my case it is a matter of trying to reconcile conflicting eyewitness accounts.

So the book I have been reading for the last year or two is 'The Waterloo Archive, Volume II, The German Sources'. Definitely a 'Must Skip' for most people, but to me an incredibly illuminating collection that has provided more new clarity then any other book for many a year. Particularly as relates to the flanks and especially the much debated crisis in the center behind Le Haye Saint.

 

[Berkana]

A book that helped me with communication and in my marriage was The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown. I recommend it often, it's one of my top 5 books.