Hello, I'm new here and I think I might have HFA. Both of my brothers have moderate and severe autism and so it's probably more likely that I'm on the spectrum as well because of genetics. I'm 16, and I've been kind of socially challenged all my life. For a while I thought it was from being homeschooled and spending a lot of time around one of my brothers instead of NT kids in my early childhood that stunted my social development. More recently, though, I've come to suspect that I have mild autism or Aspergers because I heard that girls and women are often harder to diagnose because their symptoms are different and most autism research is done on males and that they are often diagnosed late frequently after a child or sibling is diagnosed. Since then I've researched Aspergers symptoms and how they manifest in girls on the internet, and I think that my life seems similar to a lot of women on the spectrum.
Since I was a child I've struggled to make and keep friends. I always seem to be at the bottom of every social pecking order. I usually can only keep one or two friends at a time and they always seem to lose interest fairly quickly and I cant tell why. Many of my friends have been pretty weird themselves. I tend to connect with girls who have a million younger siblings or spend a lot of time around small children, probably because they are more nurturing and accepting.
I do well academically. I'm good at math, writing, and other subjects. I have all As in my online and duel credit classes (I'm homeschooled so I don't go to a normal highschool, but take classes online and in a community college). I think if I did go to normal school my issues would be more apparent because of the constant social setting.
When I was younger a lot of people thought I had ADHD or asked me or my mom if I have some sort of mental problem. I think it's because I daydream a lot. I'm almost constantly imagining conversations, scenarios involving characters books and movies, civilizations, and thinking about math problems and economics, and other stuff like that. When I was 12 a girl told me that I'm "a bit slow" and another one said that I seem "distracted". Even if people don't tell me directly, I can tell that some treat me like a child and think I'm challenged. I think it's partially because I'm socially inept and I sometimes misinterpret sarcasm and figures of speech, and I often fail to understand or empathize with the cesspool of stupid drama that make up adolescent social situations.
I'm not sure if some of my habits can be called stimming. I love to pace around because it helps me day dream more vividly and I really like to be in motion. Sometimes I like to rapidly rub my thumbs against my outstretched pressed together fingers because I like the bumpy feeling. I also love to touch and rub certain parts of my face. I don't do these things in public, though because it looks weird.
I have some mild sensory issues. I find tight or scratchy cloths very itchy and uncomfortable. I'm very sensitive to itching. It's usually controllable but stepping outside when there's a lot of pollen in the air can make me feel like I rolled in poison ivy.
I have some executive function problems and have a hard time driving, cooking, or anything that requires a lot of little tasks and the ability to switch between and so I often do stupid things like leaving the oven on. My sense of direction is terrible; I can get lost in my own neighborhood, so I usually rely on my mom to tell me where to turn and go. My motor skills are also horrible. My hand writing looks like that of a two year old. I can't draw or even do make up decently. I'm clumsy, and I dance like an ox having a stroke.
I can make eye contact but I find it difficult to modulate how much I should make and end up staring at people or appearing disengaged. I often look at people's eye brows or mouth while they're talking instead.
When I was about 11 to 13 I kind of had some anxiety and I was always worrying about imaginary accidents and health problems and asking others to confirm their nonexistence which probably did not help my social situation. Sometimes I still worry a lot about stupid stuff but I think it's mostly better now. I also had a semi eating disorder when I was 14 and 15. I was always thinking about food, calories, and diets, and at one point weighed 111 pounds at 5'10 because of restrictive eating. That also mostly abated. I think it might have been partially a special interest in nutrition that caused it. I know that eating disorders are common in Aspergers women.
I'm not sure I really develop intense special interests. I certainly have never really been interested by stereotypical autistic things like computers. However, I have spent a great amount of time researching very random and specific topics such as marriage customs and the lives of women in ancient Greece for fun. I usually don't talk a ton about my interests though because I know people don't care.
I've always been pretty passive and quiet. In the past, I have sometimes found it almost impossible to speak and spent hours in a party or social event barely saying one word. This could probably be considered selective mutism. I almost never start conversations, even if I want to, because I can't tell when it's appropriate to do so and if someone is interested.
I think many of my problems have gotten better as I've gotten older and learned social skills. I took a class on interpersonal communication, and it helped a lot. I can appear completely normal at least for a short amount of time, but it takes a lot of effort to think of things to say, how much to say, how to regulate body language, how to express empathy and generally behave appropriately all while examining and interpreting the other person's words and non verbal cues.
I'm pretty sure that I'm somewhere on the spectrum but I don't think it's significant enough to warrant a diagnosis because I'm not particularly disabled by it. I do school fine and I can probably hold down a job when I get older. I talked to my mom about it and she agrees. What are your thoughts? I know you can't give me an so diagnosis, but it would help to shine light on my suspicions.
Since I was a child I've struggled to make and keep friends. I always seem to be at the bottom of every social pecking order. I usually can only keep one or two friends at a time and they always seem to lose interest fairly quickly and I cant tell why. Many of my friends have been pretty weird themselves. I tend to connect with girls who have a million younger siblings or spend a lot of time around small children, probably because they are more nurturing and accepting.
I do well academically. I'm good at math, writing, and other subjects. I have all As in my online and duel credit classes (I'm homeschooled so I don't go to a normal highschool, but take classes online and in a community college). I think if I did go to normal school my issues would be more apparent because of the constant social setting.
When I was younger a lot of people thought I had ADHD or asked me or my mom if I have some sort of mental problem. I think it's because I daydream a lot. I'm almost constantly imagining conversations, scenarios involving characters books and movies, civilizations, and thinking about math problems and economics, and other stuff like that. When I was 12 a girl told me that I'm "a bit slow" and another one said that I seem "distracted". Even if people don't tell me directly, I can tell that some treat me like a child and think I'm challenged. I think it's partially because I'm socially inept and I sometimes misinterpret sarcasm and figures of speech, and I often fail to understand or empathize with the cesspool of stupid drama that make up adolescent social situations.
I'm not sure if some of my habits can be called stimming. I love to pace around because it helps me day dream more vividly and I really like to be in motion. Sometimes I like to rapidly rub my thumbs against my outstretched pressed together fingers because I like the bumpy feeling. I also love to touch and rub certain parts of my face. I don't do these things in public, though because it looks weird.
I have some mild sensory issues. I find tight or scratchy cloths very itchy and uncomfortable. I'm very sensitive to itching. It's usually controllable but stepping outside when there's a lot of pollen in the air can make me feel like I rolled in poison ivy.
I have some executive function problems and have a hard time driving, cooking, or anything that requires a lot of little tasks and the ability to switch between and so I often do stupid things like leaving the oven on. My sense of direction is terrible; I can get lost in my own neighborhood, so I usually rely on my mom to tell me where to turn and go. My motor skills are also horrible. My hand writing looks like that of a two year old. I can't draw or even do make up decently. I'm clumsy, and I dance like an ox having a stroke.
I can make eye contact but I find it difficult to modulate how much I should make and end up staring at people or appearing disengaged. I often look at people's eye brows or mouth while they're talking instead.
When I was about 11 to 13 I kind of had some anxiety and I was always worrying about imaginary accidents and health problems and asking others to confirm their nonexistence which probably did not help my social situation. Sometimes I still worry a lot about stupid stuff but I think it's mostly better now. I also had a semi eating disorder when I was 14 and 15. I was always thinking about food, calories, and diets, and at one point weighed 111 pounds at 5'10 because of restrictive eating. That also mostly abated. I think it might have been partially a special interest in nutrition that caused it. I know that eating disorders are common in Aspergers women.
I'm not sure I really develop intense special interests. I certainly have never really been interested by stereotypical autistic things like computers. However, I have spent a great amount of time researching very random and specific topics such as marriage customs and the lives of women in ancient Greece for fun. I usually don't talk a ton about my interests though because I know people don't care.
I've always been pretty passive and quiet. In the past, I have sometimes found it almost impossible to speak and spent hours in a party or social event barely saying one word. This could probably be considered selective mutism. I almost never start conversations, even if I want to, because I can't tell when it's appropriate to do so and if someone is interested.
I think many of my problems have gotten better as I've gotten older and learned social skills. I took a class on interpersonal communication, and it helped a lot. I can appear completely normal at least for a short amount of time, but it takes a lot of effort to think of things to say, how much to say, how to regulate body language, how to express empathy and generally behave appropriately all while examining and interpreting the other person's words and non verbal cues.
I'm pretty sure that I'm somewhere on the spectrum but I don't think it's significant enough to warrant a diagnosis because I'm not particularly disabled by it. I do school fine and I can probably hold down a job when I get older. I talked to my mom about it and she agrees. What are your thoughts? I know you can't give me an so diagnosis, but it would help to shine light on my suspicions.
