Switching to Shutdowns

[DarkLady]

Okay, so here's the thing. I had been having tons of meltdowns and my family and doctors had enough of it and told me to stop. Now, for the past couple of weeks, I just lock myself in my room when upset and lay down or watch TV, completely quiet. I know I am having a series of shutdowns to hide the fact that I want to meltdown because my family has never heard of a shutdown and they think me being quiet means I'm "getting better" and "learning to deal with my emotions." Sometimes, people will ask if I'm okay during the shutdown if a traumatic thing has just happened (and they are expecting a meltdown) and I just lie and say that I'm fine and they believe me and don't ask again. I'm glad that they think I'm getting better (even if lazy) and I'm wondering if I should go through with telling my therapist about my shutdowns when I go there today or if keeping it secret will benefit me?

 

[Ereth]

Is your therapist supportive of you? If you've got an understanding person on your side, then by all means, tell your therapist. I wouldn't keep this bottled up.

 

[DarkLady]

I do have a therapist but he is not always helpful. He wants me to see him 2x a week even though it's out of my budget. He also asks things of me and my family that are unrealistic at this time.

 

[DarkLady]

Maybe get a different therapist... I had the wrong ones in the past and I'm hoping the next will be better. They should never ask anything of you , if you are paying him you should be able to choose when you want to see him (to a degree), he could make a lot more money asking clients to see him more often.
I am always skeptical of professional 'helpers' because they are mostly there to make money, this doesn't mean they are all bad, but I think it is best to have a look around to find the best one for you, maybe in your case you would feel better with a therapist that is female too, I think you might find it easier to relax with a therapist who is the same sex as you.

I have had female ones before and it doesn't really matter. Therapy never helped me much. My dev. ped. helped me but she is literally moving to another state and I'm too old to see her so that's pretty much done with.

 

[Rudy Schmidt]

I've never had a therapist, so I can't say either way what the best thing to do is. However, if you don't feel your therapist is being helpful, it seems like it's a waste of your time and money to continue seeing this particular one.

I understand the feeling of shutting down. It's the point I reach when my emotions become so abhorrent even to myself that I pull the plug and stop having them, period. Then you sort of float in this numb, emotional limbo. It's not unpleasant, but it's not extremely nice, either. I don't think it's a good long-term solution, but sometimes it's unavoidable.

However, to simply tell you to "stop having meltdowns" is pretty bad. It reminds me of Bill Engvall trying to explain to his wife why giving up smoking is so hard. She said "why don't you just GIVE UP?", to which he responded "okay, and why don't you just give up yelling? Forever?"

 

[Peace]

They cannot help you if they do not know you. If you are worried about telling them, then maybe it is not the right one for you.