Symptom Hyperfocus

[Raggamuffin]

Since 2012 when I first started getting stress related aches, pains and symptoms - when something new came along and didn't go, I would hyperfocus on it. This made me anxious, tense, and often served to elongate or escalate the duration of the symptom.

For a long time, this has mostly died away. Whilst I get symptoms, I get on with it as best I can. Every now and then I still get issues. Past few months I had eye floaters - new to me, and another bout of hyperfocus and worry. Then, this morning, I noticed when looking at somewhere lit up or bright, when I blink, one eye has a small distortion similar to if you blink after looking at a light.

It's a simple thing, could be explained away as something that'll clear up. My reaction is negative - that it'll get worse, that it's a sign of something ominous. Textbook health anxiety which will only serve to ramp up my already tense and anxious mind and body. So I'm doing myself no favours. The drive in I felt anxious to the point of nausea and dizziness. Started pondering if work would be another day where I white knuckle ride symptoms and do my best to keep it together.

I did rationalise it later. That eye health and symptoms have been a source of chronic worry for months now. That something simple and innocent could be misconstrued as something serious. But then when I got anxious and dizzy and off kilter. Then trying to hold it down at work. I feel like crap. I used to suffer from migraines and got a similar visual distortion but with my eyes open, not when blinking. But now I've got floaters when my eyes are open and a flash when I blink.

Worn out. Past 6 months in particular. More panic attacks and fatigue, symptoms etc. Can't keep going on like this. Doing self-care stuff, but a lot of it peaks and troughs and it's not consistent.

Ahh i shouldn't have Googled the symptoms. Now I'm waiting a call back from the GP.

Panic panic panic. Now my brain is going to retinal damage and laser surgery and the usual catastrophic thinking.

10 years of health anxiety sucks. Not feeling safe in my body. Tiring.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

Now I feel like an idiot as it took about 3 hours but has now gone.

Ahh, once again - all that build up for nothing. Yet all that anxiety has a cumulative effect on my wellbeing, and lack thereof.

Ed

 

[Misery]

Well first of all, at least you've spotted one thing here: You shouldnt have Googled the symptoms. That's a hard lesson that hopefully you wont have to relearn too many times.

Anyway though yeah I'm an absolute hypochondriac myself, everything scares me when it comes to medical stuff. As it is I just came back from an "OMGOMGOMG" sort of pace around the basement I do whenever something stupid makes me nervous. Like seriously, happened just a minute ago. I have now calmed down, thankfully.

And I always do this to myself even when it's something that I've already encountered like 56 times and know the answer to.

It's easy to get focused on stuff like this. We dont know the finer details of how/why stuff like this functions, yet we're wired in such a way where knowing the finer details is like our entire bloody function, so... yeah. That makes a bit of a conflict, yeah?

In my case the usual culprit is the headaches. I get these every now and then. I know what causes them. I know exactly what causes them. Comes from this little muscle way at the back of the neck, makes radiating pain that manifests as a headache, while actually being a neck thing. Fun stuff. Drives me to near madness every time. I cant function when having one, I get paranoid about it, but I cant think my way to logicalness because I'm too bloody busy having a freaking fake headache or whatever you might want to call it. It's this mighty vortex of stupid that just keeps spinning.

Yet there are other times where some people might be quite freaked out by X thing, but I'll get it and... nothing. I'll do nothing. Case in point: Suddenly sneezing blood all over the monitor. Done that before. Gonna say it'd freak most people out, right? It's happened a couple of times to me and each time my entire reaction was basically "oh come ON now I have to clean it... gotta walk all the way upstairs to get the paper towels" followed by displeased grumbling. Also if you're wondering why that wouldnt freak me out it's because my sinuses are often quite dried out, known problem for me. Easy bleeding there, particularly if I've recently gotten frustrated and tried to blow my nose too hard. Always with the sinus problems. But since I'm so used to sinus problems (hyper-allergic to basically everything, always have been) it doesnt trigger anxiety whatsoever. It just triggers annoyance instead.

I dunno. It doesnt make a whole lot of sense, does it? Any of this sort of thing, I mean.

On a side note, eye floaters are pretty annoying. I have some, always have, and most of the time I dont notice them... until I do, and then I cant STOP noticing them for like 3 hours afterwards and it's very, very distracting.

I'm noticing them now because I'm talking about it, so that's great, on a roll here...

 

[Raggamuffin]

I'm glad you can relate. I just wish the anxiety didn't cascade and hit me like a truck, time after time. Cos eventually it could cause something serious.

Ed

 

[Slime_Punk]

I used to have horrible health anxiety 24/7 for almost a decade. I won't say what finally got rid of it, because it's really triggering to hear, but I hope you find peace. There's really nothing quite like that constant alertness / terror.

 

[Raggamuffin]

That makes me think perhaps it was actual illness?

I feel if it continues eventually it won't just be a symptom due to stress, it will be a disease that has been created primarily due to stress.

Ah well. We shall have to wait and see. Self-care is up and down though. At least I'm having regular weekly massages and semi-regular yoga. Diet is up and down. Sleep is better but stress is all over.

I want some consistency, and for years now the only constant has been high anxiety and symptoms thereof.

I hope this EMDR therapy starting on 10th Jan can help.

Ed

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I was driving on a long, straight road and suddenly I realized that the car ahead of me - there were two of them, and the road split in two, and then a truck approaching me - there were two of them too.

The only thing that could cause this (I thought) was a brain tumor. I had a brain tumor and I was going to die a horrible death. (I had brain tumor patients in hospice.)

I was sick inside until I got in to see my eye doctor and it is just some changes in the shape of my eye lenses due to age.

I spent many years plagued by the kinds of fears you described. I managed to talk my way out of them. I’d have severe chest pain - just a panic attack. Went to the ER a couple of times before I quit doing that.

Mostly I try to stay matter of fact about it. Hello, my old friend panic attack (or chest pain, or whatever symptom). I’m not all that fond of you, but I guess we’re going to be hanging out together for a while. Let’s try to make it as pleasant as possible.

 

[Duna]

Since 2012 when I first started getting stress related aches, pains and symptoms

I am having aches now, started about a year ago. Dull pain in me legs and arms, not even moderate, but noticeable enough when I'm not distracted.

Well first of all, at least you've spotted one thing here: You shouldnt have Googled the symptoms. That's a hard lesson that hopefully you wont have to relearn too many times.

So very true! And I remember my grandfather, a hypochondriac and probably Asperger's, too, had a big medical book called Psrembel or something where all kinds of symptoms and their possible causes were listed. He bought it every year, to have always the newest medical discoveries sitting on his shelf. it's not just we people of the internet era who go down that rabbit hole.

 

[Duna]

Past few months I had eye floaters - new to me, and another bout of hyperfocus and worry.

I've had eye floaters since I can remember, and thought they were something normal, caused by some dirt or something. Then about two years ago I got something very weird, like auras around my field of vision, and of course I got scared. My greatest worry is to become brain damaged, and sometimes even a pain in one toe makes me think it's one thrombosis that will go up and cause hemorragia in my brain.
I learned it's a visual migraine, and it's definy stress related, and floaters are like a first sign that you're prone to have those visual migraines. They are harmless, and go away on their own. But if you happen to have them often, then it's time to ask a doctor.
I had them three times, in a period of a month. I was living at the beach, it was summer, and tje constant noise from the people on the beach, plus a new disco that opened the moment Covid restrictions allowed it, the ocean reflecting the sunlight, suffering from agoraphobia but having to let my two dogs out twice a day... I think all that triggered those migraines. I reorganized my furniture so I wouldn't be that exposed to the light and swallowed benzos like crazy until I moved to a new place. I never had those.migraines again.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I used to get migraines back when I abused alcohol. Haven't had one since I quit, 3 years now.

Ed

 

[Outdated]

I'm still not exactly sure what eye floaters are, and no, I'm not going to google it. I gather it's not like the scratches I have in my eyes. I normally only notice them if I stare up at a clear blue sky, or when my eyes are closed I can see them as a patch of colour. They're not centre in the eye so trying to look at them means my vision shifts sideways.

And I understand what Duna is saying about the bright light of a tropical beach, driving in outback Australia is the same too, I have to have polarised glasses or I very quickly get a headache and need to sleep.

 

[Mike67]

I'm glad you can relate. I just wish the anxiety didn't cascade and hit me like a truck, time after time. Cos eventually it could cause something serious.

Ed

 

[Forest Cat]

Do you use glasses? You're getting close to an age where you will probably at least need reading glasses. And if you need glasses but you don't use glasses, it tires your head and eyes out fast. And you'll get headaches.

A while ago I realized I was holding things further and further away from my head to read it. And I can't see the small writing on my phone clearly. Soon I'll have to hire a guy to stand at the other end of my living room, holding up the newspaper when I want to read it.

 

[Outdated]

Soon I'll have to hire a guy to stand at the other end of my living room, holding up the newspaper when I want to read it.

This happens to most of us. When my arms weren't long enough any more I used to drop the newspaper on the floor between my feet to read it.

 

[Misery]

I'm still not exactly sure what eye floaters are, and no, I'm not going to google it.

They look a bit like this:

They're called "floaters" because they dont stay in one place, they appear to sort of "float" and shift around, particularly as your eye moves. Their movement is... delayed, as you move your eye. It's hard to explain if you've never had them.

They're super common, whether you have just a couple of them or a whole bunch.

They dont really get in the way of vision at all, at least not in my experience. Your mind just sort of auto-ignores them most of the time.

I spot them only when I'm looking at something bright like this screen... and even then, only if I'm not already mentally engaged by something (like right now, I only just got up, and nothing's going on yet, so I was noticing them).

 

[Outdated]

they appear to sort of "float" and shift around, particularly as your eye moves. Their movement is... delayed, as you move your eye. It's hard to explain if you've never had them.

So they're a bit like pollutants in the film of oil over the lens? I'm still comparing the idea to my scratches, those move instantly with eye movement.

 

[mysterionz]

They look a bit like this:

View attachment 91544

They're called "floaters" because they dont stay in one place, they appear to sort of "float" and shift around, particularly as your eye moves. Their movement is... delayed, as you move your eye. It's hard to explain if you've never had them.

They're super common, whether you have just a couple of them or a whole bunch.

They dont really get in the way of vision at all, at least not in my experience. Your mind just sort of auto-ignores them most of the time.

I spot them only when I'm looking at something bright like this screen... and even then, only if I'm not already mentally engaged by something (like right now, I only just got up, and nothing's going on yet, so I was noticing them).

I get these sometimes.. had no idea there was a fancy term for this

 

[Misery]

So they're a bit like pollutants in the film of oil over the lens? I'm still comparing the idea to my scratches, those move instantly with eye movement.

Pretty much, yeah. Unlike a scratch these arent actually connected to anything at all. They are just "in there". And as for how they move, well, imagine you're looking at a screen and whatnot, and you've got a couple there. You move your eye and look in a different direction. With a scratch or something like that, the scratch goes with you. But the floaters do not, they appear to "hang" exactly in front of the screen... not in front of your eye... and THEN they'll move, sorta shifting slowly as a reaction to the movement you just did. They are literally just floating in liquid, after all, so that's why they move like that.

Generally harmless though. I've always had them, and I already went to the eye doctor back during summer for the full deal (and to update my driving glasses, for safety and all). I was confirmed to have bad distance vision (as if I didnt know... I swear they just like watching me try to read the indecipherable hieroglyphics they put on those signs when they do that part of the tests) but technically very healthy eyes, which was confirmed by the doc's rather distressing need to show me a picture of the back of my own eye, which is something I really cant unsee. I dont know why they do that, but they always do that.

 

[Gracey]

Go for an eye test Ed. Approx £20 at most opticians (I use SpecSavers)

when you're explaining symptoms (to the opthalmist, not the receptionist) be sure to mention these current symptoms are "new to you"
To date you haven't experienced anything like it.
Then ask "What causes this? Why am I suddenly experiencing this?"

Don't jump to conclusions. Deferr to their expertise.

Getting your eyes looked at by someone who specialises in this field may go someway toward assuaging that health anxiety.

If it doesn't,
at the very least and by process of elimination you can rule out any visual cause for your latest concerns.

...and you're correct with your idea of long
term stress/anxiety affecting and wearing out body systems.
In your 30s its effects may not be felt so keenly,
in your 50s & 60s medical conditions may arise due to 30 years of bodily systems under phenomenal pressure. (in addition to genetic factors)
Massages and yoga are an outstanding step in the right direction