Taking responsibility for work mistakes and responding to criticism-- help!

[china autie]

TL/DR: What do you say when confronted at work when you've made the same mistake a few times in a row? ...without blaming stress or circumstances? ...without crying in front of the boss over life?

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I made a mistake at work. I missed something thst I clearly should have seen but did not.

I feel like a failure. I have made this mistake two or three times now.

1. When receiving a verbal or written warning, how do you respond in an adult fashion? Without crying? Or blaming circumstances?

A script in general if anyone has one that they used?

2. I am thinking about asking for retraining on emergency procedures. This is part of what I think I need in order not to do it again.

The rest of what I need is for my entire life to change. Sigh.

3. Yes, i have major stuff going on in my life-- a contentious divorce, having to move what i can out of the ex-house soon, court dates, lack of finances. And i have to find someone to do my taxes.
I think I found a free service and have to call.


This week I have eaten primarily grains. I have canned food but no can opener. Either I never bought one or lost the one I had.
Tonight is the free supper I go to.

No money until payday because of a repair to my car that wiped out my emergency fund that I have been struggling to save. [On payday I will be going to the secondhand shop for a can opener].

I don't know when or how the moving will happen. That is messing with me.

Not knowing when court dates will happen is messing with me.

Going to divorce hearing in a few months [estimated time per attorney] is messing with me.

I have been doing everything I can. I have domestic violence counseling, a support group, meds.

I do not know what else to do. I cannot afford to lose my job. I worked hard to get off of disability and i am now off of disability.

I am picking up 10 more hours a week at another job in order to help my finances. This hopefully will start next week.


I am so tired of adulting.


Work and my boss have been super supportive and me screwing up at work is messing with me.

Help, encouragement, scripts of what to say all appreciated.

Thanks

 

[tducey]

Realize noone's perfect and learn from this and do better your next time out, I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

[Loren]

I would have to ponder how I'd respond to your boss, apart from, simply, apologizing and mentioning I'll be aware of it, going forward. But, wanted to, at least, express the empathy I have for you and the challenges you are, currently, enduring.

You are not a failure, by any stretch, nor should you be perceived as, or perceive yourself as a failure for making mistakes, or repeating the same mistakes. The difficulties you are experiencing in your personal life, are valid reasons (not mere excuses), for experiencing anxiety/ making mistakes/ having difficulty thinking/ working, and so on.

 

[Mia]

I feel like a failure. I have made this mistake two or three times now.

I'd probably respond with: Oh, thanks for letting me know, I'll make a note to remind myself in future not to repeat it. Then write it on a post it note.

And for your own peace of mind, remember everybody makes mistakes, everyone. Some of the greatest things that were ever invented were the result of mistakes made.

Don't beat yourself up, take a big breath and tell yourself something like:
Authentic, not perfect.
Give yourself permission not to be perfect.
Or make up your own mantra that fits.

 

[china autie]

I am at work and have not heard from the boss. That makes me nervous too.

Authentic, not perfect.

I am hanging in and endeavoring to remember to breathe regular breaths (not hyperventilate).

I am feeling awful though you all have helped.

 

[china autie]

I texted boss w apology and a plan not to do it again.

Thanks again. I am now working on calming down.

 

[Loren]

Good that you are breathing to calm yourself. You mentioned that your boss knows of your situation and has been supportive. This is a good sign, and something that you could, perhaps, keep your focus on. It is entirely possible that he simply felt it necessary to mention the mistake, but has, absolutely, no intention of terminating your employment. Sending positive thoughts your way...

 

[Bolletje]

I’m sorry you are going through all this.
When confronted about a mistake I think the best thing to do is apologize and own up to it. I think in your situation it would be fair to say you’re a little distracted because you’ve got personal things going on. No need to go into details. That’s not blaming circumstances, in my opinion, but instead providing a little background to the situation in which you made the mistake. I think it’s good to be able to provide the distinction that you’re not a careless employee, just a person going through some hard times.

 

[china autie]

Boss is aware of almost all of it because I told him when I left my abusive ex and went to the shelter. He is one of the few people I know [who aren't friends] that really means "How are you?" when he asks. [Most people expect the answer to be positive even when we aren't okay].

This mistake cannot happen again. That makes me a bit nervous but I am breathing and I have a plan.

What's done is done. I can only go forward.

 

[Aspychata]

Hey girl, l am proud you are here determine to get through this, it's hard, it's a struggle, but we got you covered, take a step everyday, steps add up to divorced, and moved on, focus on the ending to you get you through.

 

[Fino]

That is a lot to deal with, and you are doing beautifully.

 

[Progster]

I would just say something like "I apologise for this error (I was distracted) and I'll make sure it doesn't happen again" And then take measures to make sure it doesn't - but it won't now, because you are very aware of the error. Don't beat yourself up over it - you did what you needed to do and there's no point in worrying about it now. If your boss is aware of your circumstances, he is likely to be tolerant of and overlook the mistake.

 

[china autie]

I am still a bit emo. I worked all night. I think i shall reevaluate after some sleep.

I feel like crying.

Good news is that I am signed up to get my taxes done at no cost. Tomorrow!!!

 

[china autie]

I have slept and cavorted with the dog in the park.

Thanks again!!!

I love this place.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

I texted boss w apology and a plan not to do it again.

Thanks again. I am now working on calming down.

It looks like you found a solution, and sharing your plan on avoiding the problem in the future is great. From what I know of employers, that's exactly what they want when someone makes a mistake. Since your boss is already so understanding, you should be fine.

 

[china autie]

I am mostly better [see post in serious discussion about my tax problem]

except thst I need some information and I am afraid to ask the second supervisor involved for the info I need to generate daily reports [which partly involve her program[.

This info is stuff that I 'should' remember but in my current state just can't.

I am going to email a coworker to see if she will provide it. If she doesn't, then i will ask my boss where I can find it.

I do not want to ask the other supervisor involved because it is her program, because she had an email fit about my mistakes is the best I can describe it.

She knows basically nothing about my life.

I am afraid of her judging my performance as inadequate.

That is the part of the work problem I am not okay with.

 

[Tom]

In the work environment I thought it best to get the work done no matter what. So if I had to get info from someone who would look down on or berate me I would just do it. It is really their problem being judgemental and unhelpful and its pretty common to have people like that in every work force. It makes it unpleasant, but would not let them hinder me from doing my job.

On taxes remember that if you miss the deadline, it doesn't make you a criminal, it just means you can accrue a small penalty fine based on how late they are. Something like a standard daily interest on the ammount you owe the Gov. There is also a way to ask for an extension. Not sure of the details.

 

[china autie]

Two mistakes last night-- at least they were different and relatively minor. Annoying to me and maybe to the boss as well.

My head wants to explode.

 

[china autie]

Boss has offered to chat later [listen while I talk] and I have said yes.

I thought I would have fallen apart when I left ex last year but I guess not.