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Talking Down to People

Daigu

Well-Known Member
I was recently put in charge of 5 people and have been accused of "talking down to them"
Four are making the accusation and the fifth is in agreement with me. My supervisor seems to be with me also. The person that I replaced never watched over us and pretty much left us to our own ways. That was one reason he was replaced. The four making the accusation are also prone to goofing off. I am not talking about 5-10 minutes of goofing off but hours. One was caught sitting in a restaurant when he should not have been there and the old supervisor saved him. The employee that is in agreement with me has been with the company 10 years and I have been with them 11. All the other employees are less then 2 years. I am usually direct with communication and try not to be mean. I have been in the military and usually just give directives without pretty please attached to it.
Any suggestions on not talking down to people? I am thinking about taking a voice recorder in all my dealings with the four. It will not be a secret recorder and I would inform them of the recording.
One other aspect is...would informing them that I do have Asperger's do any good
 
I don't think informing them of your Asperger's would likely help...they might be even more likely to point out everything you do wrong. Sounds like they're looking for an excuse to make all of this your fault. But then, it's hard to determine all of that for sure from one post from only one side, you know?

A voice recorder might help. Also, you can look for ways to "catch them doing right." Notice things they do well, even if it's only minor, and mention that to the person. Let them know that you're not just criticizing--that your feedback will identify both positive and negative behaviors, not just the negative. This is useful feedback for anyone. It helps us know what to keep doing, so we can focus energy on the areas that need the most improvement.
 
Have to agree with the rest...disclosing your neurology probably won't help under such circumstances. Just make sure it's legal for you to record your charges and whether it involves one-party or two-party consent if applicable depending on your jurisdiction. And that it's ok in accordance with company policy.
 
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Thanks for the help....
I am in agreement with the not disclosing Asperger except that I can use it as a discriminatory behavior if I do tell them?
They will then know it and know I have problems with social environments.
I recently tried the positive reinforcement technique...I gave an employee a chance to do a major job and I think he wandered off and just today I had to correct something he should have done.
I will try to give you a little past history/ conditioning to go on....
Year 1 thru 8...Employee with 10 years and me had a psychotic boss with diabetes...we just figured it as diabetes and ignored the psychosis factor...but he was a good boss...his second in command stole about a thousand in gas a year and would usually make us go car shopping with him...of course it was not in his truck
8 thru 10...was the negligent boss....most of our tools disappeared... There seemed to be the idea to convert our workshop into an office...this boss got caught with our property in his backyard...I had nothing to do with this
I work in a city government with a very active police department. I have warned and warned bosses and employees we are watched. They raised hell when employee with 10 years was caught in a KFC drive thru...he had a right to be there.
He was on-call and had no other vehicle except the city truck.
10 and 11...I warned my boss and the 2 over him about making willy-nilly changes with no thought behind it. I warned them about changing our shop space into a office...a place to park their ass for hours...so far my advice was right
My second warning was about converting a carpentry shop into a office.We live in a hurricane prone region and as a city government we carry the burden of protecting the people. We pretty much converted useful space into useless space.
It gets even better...we will get you a new shop...they are trying to convert a Hazmat building into a new shop
I dont know about you but...who in the hell wants to work in a hazmat building.
So far warning#1 has paid off...I am thinking that I dont want to be around when the mayor starts looking around for a carpentry shop on blueprints that has been changed into office when a hurricane that has destroyed our area comes about. I have been in hurricane Erin doing voltage readings on a lift station in 60 mph winds.
In hurricane Charlie...I dont remember most of it...but it was bad, very bad
 
Instead of "picking the pieces" after someone else, can you let your boss know what is going on, or his boss? If you can't go any higher and things are not working out for you after you have been reasonable, it might be worth it to look for a better job. It might be worth considering letting people fall on their own mistakes as long as you are not responsible as well. If you don't have to complete a job, just make contact via phone or e-mail to remind the person of something they need to do if it hasn't been done properly.

For using the recorder, to even mention it could be taken as if you're looking to extend the level of how you already "talk down" to your employees. People don't like "direct" even if it's proper. Because of your military background, you might actually be talking down or "talking down" to others without realizing it.
 
However, I didn't think about a company policy issue; I've not seen that specifically stated in any employee handbook issued by the myriad of places I have worked over the years.

Good that you mentioned that. No, you won't likely find such a thing in any employee handbook. However what I meant was that it would be prudent to run it past management in the event they are compelled to run it past their own legal department.

After all it's not only a consideration of law, but it's potentially involving the company's liability in the event there's some sort of perceived legal impropriety. It's a matter of protecting yourself and your employer to reduce or eliminate any exposure to litigation or prosecution.

It's a form of common sense, but the kind that can sometimes only be recognized in hindsight, after you've been abruptly terminated by your employer for not going through proper channels. Especially if you reside in an employ-at-will state.
 
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