Talking to Girls.

[Tony Ramirez]

I always found it difficult to talk to girls. When I was a teenager I use to literally run away which I still do when walking outside.

I however interacted with girls when I first came to the Church. I even talked to a few but I was still nervous.

However when I left Church I became a recluse running away from girls.

When I came back to the Church I felt nervous. I knew in a crowd I was not going to be friends with any girls and it's true as a married couple introduced themselves on the first day. I joined about four groups.

I ended up sticking with two groups, well now three but I found it was easier to socialize in a small group were its harder to avoid people. But one that I can call to talk I would have never attempted to talk to in the Church crowd.

Now I finally understand why first girls around your age don't approach guys don't believe that fiction you find in comedies like The Simpsons, Drake & Josh and Married with Children to name a few. Real odds are 1/100. IR.

Anyway from one girl I chatted with she got hurt with guys who wanted more than an relationship. Then another one today I talked to said she is nervous to approach him and you are nervous to approach her which causes a stalemate. Also others from the group have told me the same issues with "afraid to approach".

Now in small groups of 4 or 5 people it changes. I can approach them as we are usually sitting together and I would have never interacted with them in larger gatherings.

Also now with Covid smaller in person gathers are more common. Although I still miss the bigger gatherings.

 

[Thinx]

This sounds really useful to have found out, and to be able to talk with girls and hear their views. Glad to hear you are in these groups, sounds good!

 

[Aspychata]

I agree with @Thinx - seeing how the other half processes things is great. You have taken some really big steps and l bet you feel great about yourself. We all can have some social anxiety but we tend to outgrow it as we get older. It seems less important with age. There are other things you worry more about. Your priorities change. This is great news and this is a milestone for you.

 

[menander]

Church singles groups can become very complicated. One I went to was shut right down. Drama, sex, confusion, and more drama. It never ended.

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

i just avoid them like a ninja,especially because of how i appear to them upon eye-contact.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Jared you talked about how you are afraid of them more than me. Do you attend any small groups? I find it much easier to talk to them in small groups.

 

[paloftoon]

Girls tend to like things with emotion and that tend to want you to try first even if they won't try or put their all into it. What I say is start to say something that leads on to more emotion and if they don't seem to reciprocate enough, then thank them for their time and start to walk away.

Also, another approach is just ask about interests in common and participate in the same interest if it comes to that. You might at least build up a platonic friendship.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Watched a movie and an episode of doctor who where a guy bumbs into a girl and she asked if he is okay which actually happened to me but then it shows them married with a kid. Yea right pure Hollywood fiction. Otherwise the main character would not be born and there would be no story. In real life she will say "Are you okay" then he will say "I'm fine" then they would part there ways never seeing each other again. IR.

 

[risootser]

Usually girls/women say I'm nice and not like other man but then that is it. It kind of hints that I could make it happen if I could handle life otherwise... like being wannabe boomer. Also those comments make shy.

I probably look too brainy as well. In a way there are at least 4 different reactions: one is respectful funny chilling, other one is serious thinking, one might be collaboration which is like work and then there are bossy bitches which I do not like.

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

Jared you talked about how you are afraid of them more than me. Do you attend any small groups? I find it much easier to talk to them in small groups.

none,because who knows how aspies like us would socially survive.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Like I said a have a two friends that are girls that I am close friends with and a few I message one I am sending video messages. I would have never meet in Church service but only small groups.