Talking to people in general, not only girls.

[DaRKMsOul18]

I don't know if, "relationships," means with anyone or ya girl.

But, I have massive social issues, and I'm scared around people and often slip out of awkward conversations.

If, and that's a major IF
I ever find a special someone, I hope She has Asperger's as well, so she will know how I feel!

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there.

I guess it is natural being on here, that we are going to think: wow, that is so me lol but yes, not so good in social settings; but am on meds and they are calming me down and so, can just about manage.

Much better one to one. Start to overtalk and feel that I cannot stop talking, when there is more than one and they are looking at me. It is like I am wanting to search for a clue on how to stop, but cannot and so, just keep right on talking. In the end, I am so mortified ( feel that too many times) that I stutter and hurriedly say excuse me, got to go to the toilet or etc and escape fast!

I have dreadful social phobia. Basically I fear people and will dart back in doors, if I see ones on the street.

 

[DaRKMsOul18]

Hi there.

I guess it is natural being on here, that we are going to think: wow, that is so me lol but yes, not so good in social settings; but am on meds and they are calming me down and so, can just about manage.

Much better one to one. Start to overtalk and feel that I cannot stop talking, when there is more than one and they are looking at me. It is like I am wanting to search for a clue on how to stop, but cannot and so, just keep right on talking. In the end, I am so mortified ( feel that too many times) that I stutter and hurriedly say excuse me, got to go to the toilet or etc and escape fast!

I have dreadful social phobia. Basically I fear people and will dart back in doors, if I see ones on the street.

Don't worry, I can't talk to many people either.

I am introverted, maybe?

I can sometimes break out of this shell, but I am just so annoying, and whenever someone calls me out for it, it makes me feel even worse when im in conversation.

Edit:

On the meds thing, I can't relate to that... I hope they help?

 

[Suzanne]

On the meds thing, I can't relate to that... I hope they help?

I was on Prozac for 17 years and it was a HUGE mistake and just so glad to be off them and it put me totally against chemical meds and then, I felt I needed an official diagnosis of some mental issues and got those, but there was no where else to go and yet, my therapist said that I needed to see him still and so, asked that day, what would I wish for and I said: to have anxiety disappear and he said: well, I can do that, but it means you taking medicine that you are against! He knows my history against meds, so he did a bit of psychological "twisting" and managed to persuade me to give some ago.

I take two kinds. One is for anxiety and the other is to calm autistic irritability down and my goodness, they work wonders!

I needed to walk down the road; only a few minutes walk, to our pharmacie and usually, I have a mental battle going on, but today? Just a sense of: I don't want to go out, but the anxiety was not there at all.

My anger issues have also diminished so much that it is funny. I am pretty laid back now and my therapist informed me just the other day, that I will have to take the meds for a long time.

 

[DaRKMsOul18]

I was on Prozac for 17 years and it was a HUGE mistake and just so glad to be off them and it put me totally against chemical meds and then, I felt I needed an official diagnosis of some mental issues and got those, but there was no where else to go and yet, my therapist said that I needed to see him still and so, asked that day, what would I wish for and I said: to have anxiety disappear and he said: well, I can do that, but it means you taking medicine that you are against! He knows my history against meds, so he did a bit of psychological "twisting" and managed to persuade me to give some ago.

I take two kinds. One is for anxiety and the other is to calm autistic irritability down and my goodness, they work wonders!

I needed to walk down the road; only a few minutes walk, to our pharmacie and usually, I have a mental battle going on, but today? Just a sense of: I don't want to go out, but the anxiety was not there at all.

My anger issues have also diminished so much that it is funny. I am pretty laid back now and my therapist informed me just the other day, that I will have to take the meds for a long time.

I don't use medicine for my Autism, I use to for my ADHD but big mistake!

It made me really bad!

 

[Iamnotarabot]

I don't use medicine for my Autism, I use to for my ADHD but big mistake!

It made me really bad!

How bad ? Sorry if it feels rude , if you dont want to talk about it don't.

Personnaly my social interractions are not constant...
I can be talkative sometimes.
I can be closed , or stressed out.

But what remains constant is my inability to create bounds with people , outside of necessity. I never realy remember their name or even ask. Barely remember what they tell me , so it feels like I dont give a damn about anyone.
Truth is most of the time social interractions are stressing me out, are overwhelming , and the worst is that most of the time I dont even realize it, but now I understand that not being able to remember things like name or basic things about people I work with everyday is not normal. Its because I am not realy myself outside.

 

[VioletHaze_03]

Conversations are a vicious cycle if you have ASD and anxiety. I spent years making social slip ups and hating myself for the result, sometimes i still do. You really have to spend a few years just observing social situations and practicing eye-contact and things like smiling and sarcasm. It's painful, but after you starting mimicking those around you it becomes a daily thing, and a little less of a burden. Meds don't usually help with the social stuff, but mine help me concentrate on homework which makes that so much easier. I tried ativan to calm me down, but it actually had the opposite effect and i had really bad outbursts and meltdowns, even on tiny amounts. Trying new drugs can be really tricky, and can be really harmful if you haven't fiddled around enough to find the right dose. That's why you should only try them if nothing else works. Feel free to pm me if you want anymore advice, i'm always happy to help out

 

[Shamar]

I don't know if, "relationships," means with anyone or ya girl.

But, I have massive social issues, and I'm scared around people and often slip out of awkward conversations.

If, and that's a major IF
I ever find a special someone, I hope She has Asperger's as well, so she will know how I feel!

What you describe seems to be pretty much the practical definition of autism. Don't forget that autism means "self-ism." It was named that because psychologist thought the person was deliberately withdrawing from society/social interaction into the self. There are a lot who still seem to think this. Those of us with autism know it is the other way around. We are unable to come out of the self into society. Why we can't come out, I don't know; fear?, confusion?, maybe the NTs are just plain not worth the effort or not good enough for us?

I'm not sure having a girlfriend with Asperger's "so she will know how I feel!" is a good idea. If it works out, wonderful. But I suspect the liabilities may outweigh the benefits. Two paraplegics in love cannot help the other to walk no matter how much they understand each other's problems and inabilities. Statistically, there should be some NTs out there who can understand, but I have yet to meet one.

I hope you do find that special someone. It will be difficult. Face it, we have such trouble interacting socially that we already have two strikes against us.

Some of my views on this may seem ....... extreme, but bear in mind I am looking at this from the perspective of someone who is unable to form a bond with another person and is incapable of a relationship like this.