Talking to ppl is hard

[me9282]

Even on the internet

 

[Slime_Punk]

Well, you're doing it! You should be proud of yourself

 

[Progster]

Yes, talking to people is tiring, especially in a social setting. I can manage about an hour, then I need a break. For my work, which involves talking to people, I have various coping strategies. Forums like this are ideal for me, but not chats. In online chats I have the same kind of problems that I have in real life.

 

[Outdated]

For me it's the same as everything else in life, I can really only function if I'm happy. If I'm getting a good vibe from people then I love talking to them. If a woman shows a sexual interest in me I can talk all night.

 

[Luca]

For me it's the same as everything else in life, I can really only function if I'm happy. If I'm getting a good vibe from people then I love talking to them. If a woman shows a sexual interest in me I can talk all night.

I also love talking to people that can "match my energy." Which there happen to be a lot of on this forum, fortunately.

Sometimes I'm too much for people, and sometimes there are people I just don't click with, and I don't really have any interest in talking to them after an initial encounter. Not in a rude or offensive way, just like, we might be too different so it wasn't meant to be. People like this often avoid me too though so it works out.

But if I get "mean" vibes from someone, I won't even bother at all lol

 

[Outdated]

The only verbal communication I've had in the past couple of years is with shopkeepers. But I surprised myself and a few other people the other day.

Sitting in a chicken and chips shop waiting for my order, the man cooking called out and asked me if I would like chicken salt on my chips. He caught me day dreaming but for some reason my Big voice was on standby that day. A rich baritone that bounces off walls and rattles windows - "Ooh! Yes Please!".

Even though he had his back to me I saw the change in the man's body language, he liked the combination of politeness and enthusiasm. He gave me extra chips too.

 

[Owliet]

Even on the internet

I am able to express myself a lot more easily online than I do in life. However, outside this forum, I do not join in active chats like the chat on here or use discord with strangers (I dont use discord anymore really since i used it to talk with a friend who is no longer a friend). For my job, I am a lot better in dealing with people although I do feel like I have to mask a lot and by the time it is finished, I am EXTREMELY drained afterwards but I am slowly developing strategies to handle this.

I once was a hermit in my late teens, I would avoid everyone and everything outside my immediate family because I had a really bad experience and had a break down. It really made things a lot more difficult, so I try to avoid this as best I can — however, saying that, i dont really go out of my way to approach other people outside my family or during work (and even at work, I dont really interact with them like Is expected, I just say good morning or something before doing what needs to be done). I find communicating with older or younger people a lot more easier than those of my age group — but I always have done Ever since I was.A small child. I enjoyed talking with older adults, and things haven’t really changed. Younger people are more clear in their communications eveN if they think that they’re being clever in their responses…it is quite transparent.

I think if you had told me a few years ago, that I would have the job I have now, I would probably not have believed you — like with everthing you have to do a lot of practice and try to ride on the anxiety that comes with such interactions and just do your best. I messed up this week because a colleague kinda sidelined me with something that I thought was being asked instead, she was “what are you on about?” In reflecting back, I also understand that it was a bit…out there in the response and not really related. That was my mistake.

 

[Luca]

I am able to express myself a lot more easily online than I do in life. However, outside this forum, I do not join in active chats like the chat on here or use discord with strangers (I dont use discord anymore really since i used it to talk with a friend who is no longer a friend). For my job, I am a lot better in dealing with people although I do feel like I have to mask a lot and by the time it is finished, I am EXTREMELY drained afterwards but I am slowly developing strategies to handle this.

I express myself so much better online and through writing too. My verbal communication skills are terrible.
I did extremely well in school academically because of my ability to read, write, and retain information. But I was set up for failure socially, especially in college, because I can't express myself or interact like a "normal" person. People who know me and care about me irl have just had to get used to this.

I don't use the chat feature on here outside of specific rooms (the movie chat, and private personal chats.) But I'm willing to take friendships outside of the forums once I feel like I have gotten to know someone really well one on one. I have met some of my closest friends on here, and talk to them every day outside of here. Some of them are no longer active members but our friendships continued outside of the forums and became close friendships.

 

[Duna]

Yes, talking to people is tiring, especially in a social setting. I can manage about an hour, then I need a break. For my work, which involves talking to people, I have various coping strategies. Forums like this are ideal for me, but not chats. In online chats I have the same kind of problems that I have in real life.

Same here. I think it's the many different voices, ideas, and opinions at once. You have to filter through all of them and process them and if possible make up your own reply to that - because simply ignoring it isn't going to work, and how do you know which one deserves your full attention at a specific time?
And after Covid I can't even do one hour in a social setting that's not 1:1

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I can definitely relate to communicating better in writing than verbally. If I'm energized, though, I can be good at verbal communication and like talking with people in person.

 

[Owliet]

I express myself so much better online and through writing too. My verbal communication skills are terrible.
I did extremely well in school academically because of my ability to read, write, and retain information. But I was set up for failure socially, especially in college, because I can't express myself or interact like a "normal" person. People who know me and care about me irl have just had to get used to this.

I don't use the chat feature on here outside of specific rooms (the movie chat, and private personal chats.) But I'm willing to take friendships outside of the forums once I feel like I have gotten to know someone really well one on one. I have met some of my closest friends on here, and talk to them every day outside of here. Some of them are no longer active members but our friendships continued outside of the forums and became close friendships.

Yes, school was good for me because I was able to communicate effectively. Verbal skills have improved a lot since I was younger but iI either talk very fast, monotone or find it difficult to get my thoughts in order during a fast pace communication. It really depends on the interaction at the time but it is often when interacting with peers That I fall into the pit of shame.=(

Yes, the chat feature is something that is too much for me to do. I don’t mind PMs but I can’t maintain having too many PMs at once as I get overwhelmed — which happened to me recently and I really hope that the person didn’t take it negatively. =(

 

[Duna]

I can express myself better in images and schemes than in words. My colleagues all got used to me explaining them problems and solutions and what to do by annotated screenshots rather then texts, and my note for new projects are mostly graphics with colors and shapes. I do not necessarily suck with words, but to use them is more of an effort to me. And speech is the first ability I lose when I have a meltdown.

Talking to people is very hard for me, unless I know them better (and they me). Still, I'm not shy. If I have to talk to someone I do it, though it's extremely hard to do while masking.

 

[Luca]

don’t mind PMs but I can’t maintain having too many PMs at once as I get overwhelmed — which happened to me recently and I really hope that the person didn’t take it negatively. =(

Omg, literally the same with me!!! I typically get a bunch of PMs in a day, and they just get backlogged after a few days and I get overwhelmed and burned out. I always hope no one takes it personally if I don't respond
This is why it's sometimes easier for me to communicate with people outside of here though.

 

[Owliet]

Omg, literally the same with me!!! I typically get a bunch of PMs in a day, and they just get backlogged after a few days and I get overwhelmed and burned out. I always hope no one takes it personally if I don't respond
This is why it's sometimes easier for me to communicate with people outside of here though.

I do tend to worry that i am perceived as horrible or something negative on here too. I usually have to ignore the feeling that I am not liked on here or that I am annoying or something. But I think it is just my uncertainties being formed in this direction.

When I get messages, I do find it a surprise that people even PM at times.=D But if I get too many, it is too much especially if I am burnt out already. I dont think people take it personally, I hope they dont.

 

[Luca]

I do tend to worry that i am perceived as horrible or something negative on here too. I usually have to ignore the feeling that I am not liked on here or that I am annoying or something. But I think it is just my uncertainties being formed in this direction.

When I get messages, I do find it a surprise that people even PM at times.=D But if I get too many, it is too much especially if I am burnt out already. I dont think people take it personally, I hope they dont.

I always feel like I'm annoying on here too, and that people don't like me or have me on ignore. I have definitely found a lot of people I "click" with really well though so I guess if people dislike me it doesn't matter. I have more friends on here than I do irl.

I have always found it surprising that people PM me a lot when I haven't initiated it, too! Especially new members.
But it's hard to get past the feelings that I'm overbearing, abrasive, loud, and come on too strong and talk too much...

Edit: You don't annoy me at all, and I have nothing negative to say about you! I really appreciate you being here

 

[Owliet]

I always feel like I'm annoying on here too, and that people don't like me or have me on ignore. I have definitely found a lot of people I "click" with really well though so I guess if people dislike me it doesn't matter. I have more friends on here than I do irl.

I have always found it surprising that people PM me a lot when I haven't initiated it, too! Especially new members.
But it's hard to get past the feelings that I'm overbearing, abrasive, loud, and come on too strong and talk too much...

Edit: You don't annoy me at all, and I have nothing negative to say about you! I really appreciate you being here

I would probably argue that some people on here I also consider as friends. I dont really have friends in real life.

You are very confident and friendly, I think that’s important.=)

Oh good.=D

 

[me9282]

I am able to express myself a lot more easily online than I do in life. However, outside this forum, I do not join in active chats like the chat on here or use discord with strangers (I dont use discord anymore really since i used it to talk with a friend who is no longer a friend). For my job, I am a lot better in dealing with people although I do feel like I have to mask a lot and by the time it is finished, I am EXTREMELY drained afterwards but I am slowly developing strategies to handle this.

I once was a hermit in my late teens, I would avoid everyone and everything outside my immediate family because I had a really bad experience and had a break down. It really made things a lot more difficult, so I try to avoid this as best I can — however, saying that, i dont really go out of my way to approach other people outside my family or during work (and even at work, I dont really interact with them like Is expected, I just say good morning or something before doing what needs to be done). I find communicating with older or younger people a lot more easier than those of my age group — but I always have done Ever since I was.A small child. I enjoyed talking with older adults, and things haven’t really changed. Younger people are more clear in their communications eveN if they think that they’re being clever in their responses…it is quite transparent.

I think if you had told me a few years ago, that I would have the job I have now, I would probably not have believed you — like with everthing you have to do a lot of practice and try to ride on the anxiety that comes with such interactions and just do your best. I messed up this week because a colleague kinda sidelined me with something that I thought was being asked instead, she was “what are you on about?” In reflecting back, I also understand that it was a bit…out there in the response and not really related. That was my mistake.

I used to be apart of a discord server. I wanted to be seen and included, but it was really hard to even talk. It was frustrating. I told myself a while ago I wouldn’t force myself to communicate if i didn’t want to, but sometimes I get caught up in wanting to be seen that i end up doing that anyway and causing myself a lot of strain.

 

[Owliet]

I used to be apart of a discord server. I actually struggled a lot because I wanted to been seen and

I used to be apart of a discord server. I wanted to be seen and included, but it was really hard to even talk. It was frustrating. I told myself a while ago I wouldn’t force myself to communicate if i didn’t want to, but sometimes I get caught up in wanting to be seen that i end up doing that anyway and causing myself a lot of strain.

I think it is a bit of a balance — be aware that you need to know of your boundaries and what is too much but also to give it a good effort if you really want to connect with people. I know that some ASD dont really like to socialize at all or even want to.

 

[Storm Hess]

With this forum, I can answer when I want, leave when I want and engage when I want. It's happy communication for me.

 

[Streetwise]

talking isn't hard for me ,knowing !if i get the signal that the person will do something to cause me to hyperventilate, is what is hard ,never know if an untrustworthy human, will attack ,dont even feel like i have a lot of friends on a forum,but i know im disliked ,i just exist looking for calmness, not looking for constant sympathy