Teacher talked with me about autism

[Jordy]

If things couldnt get any worse my dutch teacher decide to talk about my autism with me today, mostly she was curious, but somehow also pittied me and it was obvious. There was no one else around it was just me, but i found some the questions she asked me offense, it was humiliating, like i needed help. "do you have someone that helps you?", "are you doing this all on your own", "you have some sisters/brothers that are nice to you?". She also felt the need to compliment me on somethings, because apparently i look like i need it. I am so pissed that this happened. Apparently i do not look like a competed individual that can navigate the world on his own, i need people to be nice to me and help me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I can see your point, not all of us seek pity, my family are fellow Aspie's we support each other. all of us are doing well. Keep mind you have no control over, what others think or perceive. She was just following her training.

If you live your life feeling sorry for your self, that is how you will end up living.

 

[Jordy]

I wonder if this is the straw that breaks the camels back for me. All these interactions just keep pilling up.

 

[Raggamuffin]

She sounds like she was just being nice, and you turned it into negativity. Of course it's all down to perspective I suppose. Some will frown upon her approach, others might see no harm.

At the end of the day, we choose how we react in life. So whilst we might encounter situations or people that test us, it's our own responses that weigh us down, or lift us up.

Ed

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I ran a rooming house when I met my wife many of my tenants some whom I Stayed in contact with, never seemed to know how to get ahead in life, by bad choice's they made in subsequent years. Most were NT's. One bad choice leads to another, sort of slippery slope. I paid my own way though college, working as a farm laborer during the summer living on this for tuition and living expenses. for the remainder of the year. I always trusted my own strenght to get me ahead.

 

[Aspychata]

Maybe she knows nothing about autism and decided to think the worse. So you are the only example and so many people don't know anything about this term. It's confusing. I didn't know anything about it until l came here.

Are you depressed? Sometimes you come across a tad unhappy.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I suspect she was taught about autism in teachers college, my daughter-in- law to be just graduated a few weeks ago, this sort of stuff is part of the corriculum.

I would not read to much into it.

 

[Aspychata]

I suspect she was taught about autism in teachers college, my daughter-in- law to be just graduated a few weeks ago, this sort of stuff is part of the corriculum.

I would not read to much into it.

I just had a therapist who didn't have a clue.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Part of the reason I have no intention, ever getting diagnosed.

 

[Ken]

If things couldnt get any worse my dutch teacher decide to talk about my autism with me today, mostly she was curious, but somehow also pittied me and it was obvious. There was no one else around it was just me, but i found some the questions she asked me offense, it was humiliating, like i needed help. "do you have someone that helps you?", "are you doing this all on your own", "you have some sisters/brothers that are nice to you?". She also felt the need to compliment me on somethings, because apparently i look like i need it. I am so pissed that this happened. Apparently i do not look like a competed individual that can navigate the world on his own, i need people to be nice to me and help me.

Your dutch teacher suffers from a very common human symptom: ignorance. From her perspective, she was being kind and nice. She thought she was being good. All humans make this mistake. We are all ignorant and suffer from the consequences and often never make the connection.

In any event, I would recommend giving her a break and appreciate what was in her heart to have said what she did. I am sure her intended was not to insult or put you down. Just the opposite. It's just an ignorance thing. I can't begin to count the number of times I offended someone and could not figure out why - how could what I said offend them? That "why" is my ignorance and it goes both ways. I have to understand that I don't understand everything. It is very often that someone's attempt to be kind and helpful ends up being cruel and hurtful. But, it's just ignorance.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

If things couldnt get any worse my dutch teacher decide to talk about my autism with me today, mostly she was curious, but somehow also pittied me and it was obvious. There was no one else around it was just me, but i found some the questions she asked me offense, it was humiliating, like i needed help. "do you have someone that helps you?", "are you doing this all on your own", "you have some sisters/brothers that are nice to you?". She also felt the need to compliment me on somethings, because apparently i look like i need it. I am so pissed that this happened. Apparently i do not look like a competed individual that can navigate the world on his own, i need people to be nice to me and help me.

Once again,...perspective, perspective, and perspective. Most people are NOT educated with regards to the autism spectrum. They often falsely assume a lot of things because of what they know about severely affected small children,...who often get the majority of the media coverage,...and from dealing with these children when they are very young in various educational settings. What most people do not understand is that there is a population of autistic individuals with not only average intelligence, but exceptional intelligence, and can easily outwit their instructors. Now, having said that,...yes,...many of us do have the typical social, communication, and sensory issues,...as well as, co-morbidities with attention deficits, and other learning issues.

So,...your job,...should you choose to accept it,...it to educate your instructor on YOUR autism condition. How is she to know? She has no understanding of your perspective. As an instructor myself,...when dealing with my autistic students (I usually have 1 every year/every other year),...I just have to open up a dialogue and treat everyone as an individual. My job is to make my students perform at their best,...however it happens to work for them,...which means I need to have open communication with them.

 

[Jordy]

Your dutch teacher suffers from a very common human symptom: ignorance. From her perspective, she was being kind and nice. She thought she was being good. All humans make this mistake. We are all ignorant and suffer from the consequences and often never make the connection.

In any event, I would recommend giving her a break and appreciate what was in her heart to have said what she did. I am sure her intended was not to insult or put you down. Just the opposite. It's just an ignorance thing. I can't begin to count the number of times I offended someone and could not figure out why - how could what I said offend them? That "why" is my ignorance and it goes both ways. I have to understand that I don't understand everything. It is very often that someone's attempt to be kind and helpful ends up being cruel and hurtful. But, it's just ignorance.

I understand that she was just being nice, but just being nice is not genuine.

 

[Jordy]

Once again,...perspective, perspective, and perspective. Most people are NOT educated with regards to the autism spectrum. They often falsely assume a lot of things because of what they know about severely affected small children,...who often get the majority of the media coverage,...and from dealing with these children when they are very young in various educational settings. What most people do not understand is that there is a population of autistic individuals with not only average intelligence, but exceptional intelligence, and can easily outwit their instructors. Now, having said that,...yes,...many of us do have the typical social, communication, and sensory issues,...as well as, co-morbidities with attention deficits, and other learning issues.

So,...your job,...should you choose to accept it,...it to educate your instructor on YOUR autism condition. How is she to know? She has no understanding of your perspective. As an instructor myself,...when dealing with my autistic students (I usually have 1 every year/every other year),...I just have to open up a dialogue and treat everyone as an individual. My job is to make my students perform at their best,...however it happens to work for them,...which means I need to have open communication with them.

She asked me about how i performed in highschool and i told her how i would generally score in the 98th percentile on math/logic subjects test but struggled a lot with anything language related. She responded surprised then complementingly called me very intelligent and tried to fit into some kind of stereotype it felt like. I am just a person that likes math/logic like anyone else could, i don't have autistic superpowers. So i guess she doesn't think that i am slow but she also kinda does

 

[Ken]

I understand that she was just being nice, but just being nice is not genuine.

She was being genuinely ignorant. She was trying to be nice, but she was ignorant! You must realize that she is not alone in being ignorant.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I would have preferred an interaction like that rather than those in my life being incurious about my social isolation. I think because of my intelligence people thought I was normal and my lack of social involvement was a choice. However, I think unless somebody could disarm me any discussion of my difficulties and I would have clammed up.

 

[Knower of nothing]

Ask yourself what did you expect from her? Did you communicate those expectations? To me, it seems far more likely you were the one not comfortable with being genuine.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I would have preferred an interaction like that rather than those in my life being incurious about my social isolation. I think because of my intelligence people thought I was normal and my lack of social involvement was a choice. However, I think unless somebody could disarm me any discussion of my difficulties and I would have clammed up.

my older brother was a real loner, but he was so incredibly bright I could not really have a conversation with him. After he died a year after he retired, I could not find his degree, or the awards he won for being the best math and physics student he received years ago. I suspect life was rougher for him then I knew. my younger brother offered help maid service etc. and we bought him a condo after my dad passed. He would not accept help. Never really understood, how much we cared.

 

[Fino]

I need people to be nice to me and help me.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

She asked me about how i performed in highschool and i told her how i would generally score in the 98th percentile on math/logic subjects test but struggled a lot with anything language related. She responded surprised then complementingly called me very intelligent and tried to fit into some kind of stereotype it felt like. I am just a person that likes math/logic like anyone else could, i don't have autistic superpowers. So i guess she doesn't think that i am slow but she also kinda does

Yes,...she doesn't fully understand one of the common traits of autism,...in this case, asymmetrical intelligences.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I need people to be nice to me and help me.

I hope you find that @Fino . A barrier for me asking for help was believing that doing so I was in a position of weakness. This stopped me from getting appropriate help. That and being unable to articulate the help I needed.