Thank you

[rollerskate]

I just want to say that in the couple of days I've been here, I really really love this place. I don't think I've ever felt so well accepted in an online social spot, that includes some Aspergers related places. I remember one chat I went to asking about my son, I mentioned I suspected he may have gotten it from me, and they decided to "test" me on the spot by giving me a quite complicated spatial/pattern question. At the time I couldn't focus due to my current surroundings, and being put on the spot like that didn't help either. I felt I took too long to answer, and when I expressed that they were quite cold. The whole attitude there was very elitist, and I had to try very hard not to start crying as I closed out of the chat even though they said I passed their little test. I must admit that was the last time I tried talking to other Aspies online.

The attitude here has been completely different, and I seriously appreciate that. It's hard enough to accept the possibility of having a developmental disorder after being told your entire life that you're mega smart and all your issues are your fault for not doing this or that. Then when you try to open up to others that have been diagnosed about it, hoping they'll accept and understand you, they act like it's some special club that you may not make the cool kid's cut for. And you're back to square one, wondering where on earth you fit in, because the people that know you either insist you're not putting forth enough effort, using the right methods, or like my mom does make lame excuses for you (oh you're just tired was her last one), and the people that don't that have what you suspect may be wrong with you are highly critical that you may just be trying to crash their party, like everyone WANTS to be that way like they want to be famous celebrities.

I don't want to be this way. Part of admitting I was in the first place was having the hope there was help out there that could cure me of it. Medication, therapy, SOMETHING.

It seems though my best hope this late in the game is to find others for support. At 30, there's not much about my behavior and way of thinking you can modify any more. However, I have every hope for my son that he can get help becoming as highly functional in an NT world as possible. I know that given the right assistance, he can go very, very far, and that gives me a lot of hope and a lot to live for.

Thank you for being such a great group. Part of what had me back to doubting us is that he and I are highly empathetic in that we care about others and aren't intentionally rude to anyone, and it seemed a lot of what I was seeing in other places was a lot of narcissism. Plus there's so much material that claims Aspies don't have empathy. It's not a lack of empathy, it's not knowing how to apply it so that others can see it!

<3

 

[Autism]

I just want to say that in the couple of days I've been here, I really really love this place. I don't think I've ever felt so well accepted in an online social spot, that includes some Aspergers related places. I remember one chat I went to asking about my son, I mentioned I suspected he may have gotten it from me, and they decided to "test" me on the spot by giving me a quite complicated spatial/pattern question. At the time I couldn't focus due to my current surroundings, and being put on the spot like that didn't help either. I felt I took too long to answer, and when I expressed that they were quite cold. The whole attitude there was very elitist, and I had to try very hard not to start crying as I closed out of the chat even though they said I passed their little test. I must admit that was the last time I tried talking to other Aspies online.

The attitude here has been completely different, and I seriously appreciate that. It's hard enough to accept the possibility of having a developmental disorder after being told your entire life that you're mega smart and all your issues are your fault for not doing this or that. Then when you try to open up to others that have been diagnosed about it, hoping they'll accept and understand you, they act like it's some special club that you may not make the cool kid's cut for. And you're back to square one, wondering where on earth you fit in, because the people that know you either insist you're not putting forth enough effort, using the right methods, or like my mom does make lame excuses for you (oh you're just tired was her last one), and the people that don't that have what you suspect may be wrong with you are highly critical that you may just be trying to crash their party, like everyone WANTS to be that way like they want to be famous celebrities.

I don't want to be this way. Part of admitting I was in the first place was having the hope there was help out there that could cure me of it. Medication, therapy, SOMETHING.

It seems though my best hope this late in the game is to find others for support. At 30, there's not much about my behavior and way of thinking you can modify any more. However, I have every hope for my son that he can get help becoming as highly functional in an NT world as possible. I know that given the right assistance, he can go very, very far, and that gives me a lot of hope and a lot to live for.

Thank you for being such a great group. Part of what had me back to doubting us is that he and I are highly empathetic in that we care about others and aren't intentionally rude to anyone, and it seemed a lot of what I was seeing in other places was a lot of narcissism. Plus there's so much material that claims Aspies don't have empathy. It's not a lack of empathy, it's not knowing how to apply it so that others can see it!

<3

I do not want to change and mold myself for the purpose of pleasing other people who do not have desirable characteristics anyways.
I grew up in Europe, was never tested for Autism, accepted by parents, and teachers without ever it being suggested that there was anything different with me. That speaks volumes, because what that means is that they accept people with different properties, spiritual, physical, mental.

It was a blessing and I could not imagine if I would have had to have all that testing as a child. I grew up going for my full potential that way.

Fast forward to the point where I entered schools in America. The first college I entered was the same way, unobtrusive, and helpful.
The second college, with supposedly higher education personnel all over the campus I truly learned what it means to be stigmatized and to be treated negatively because I have high functioning autism. The reason they reacted like that is the fact that as Germans say: I could put them into my pocket at any time I wanted to. They did not like that and even went so far as to stop me from getting the opportunities I deserved, and even trying to "REVAMP" my talents. They wanted to revamp them because I was way too much competition for them and they knew it.

 

[Turk]

Its nice to have a place to call home, isnt it. Never really been religious, but this is as close to a confessional, as Im likely to get. To unload the baggage, that society loads us up with, is a release like no other.

 

[rollerskate]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

 

[Turk]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

Yep that statement pretty well lines up with my beliefs. I fully respect anyones right to their own beliefs, but I find that I dont need religion, to live by high moral standards

 

[Tarragon]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

I think the power of parental/social influence at an early age can set people into a religious mindset. This thread is a really nice one and don't want to derail it by starting a religious discussion(!) but I will say that I was surprised by the number of religious aspies. I won't say any more than that on the topic

As for AC being a great place, it is! I think we all feel its a special place to be. It isn't dominated by any group of people, and is a great supportive group. I have been here almost two years now, and I intend on staying!

 

[Jordan]

Totally agree with you Tarragon! Ever since I have been here to talk about my day-to-day troubles, everyone on here has been supportive!

AspiesCentral has to be the best autism forum on the internet. Run by like-minded others who get you, and never leave you out!

I also felt the need to buy VIP, because of the fact that no-one gets put down by anyone. The Staff, Moderators and others are so supportive. I love the Chat Room also. And everyone says "Hello" to you. There has been times where I have felt depressed and someone has even lightened my mood!

And I'd like to thank everyone for making such a successful forum that is welcoming to the newcomers! I have never seen anyone get put down or degraded by anyone. You always get a sense of friendship when another person either "likes" or "replies" to your post!

Thank you AspiesCentral!

 

[Ereth]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

While I haven't seen any surveys or studies attempting to answer your question, I'm sure they're out there. I just haven't bothered to look. I doubt very much that ASD is directly correlated with the presence or lack of faith, though. There are so many variables one must take into account alongside it.

To give you some understanding of my perspective, I'm what I like to call an atheist Jew---I was raised in the faith and consider myself culturally Jewish, but for several reasons, including the fact that my maternal grandparents were Holocaust survivors, I just can't believe in a god. Sometimes I really wish I could, but it doesn't seem to be possible for me.

 

[Judge]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

AC seems to be split across a broad spectrum between logic and belief. I just don't see them as necessarily being mutually exclusive to one another.

Yes, I am highly spiritual, yet not religious at all. While I have a belief in God, I have no need for religion- or social rituals in general. These days I do occasionally wonder if it's my autism rather than my intellect which drives such thoughts. My only "constant" is to try to keep an open mind recogizing that there is a "gap" between what we know, what we think we know, and what actually exists.

 

[Dark]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

I think when it comes down to it, Aspies are likely going to be either very religious or very non-religious. In my case, being an Aspie has made me a natural-born doubter and skeptic, which is usually the enemy of religion, but ironically, it's made me a very strong Christian for most of my adult life. My skepticism has driven me to research and question my beliefs until I can comfortably reconcile them with logic and/or empirical fact, rather than sticking my fingers in my ears every time someone challenges me. I think the trademark "unusual thinking" helps as well. I can get my head around the concept of a God in a way many others can't.

As for the social aspect, what with church and all that, I must admit it has been a bit of a challenge. The primary selling point of Christianity is that it's about relationship with God rather than ritual, and "fellowship with other believers" is a pretty integral part of the experience. I've been lucky to find a pretty accepting church, and I get along fairly well with most of the people there, but as with everything else, it can still be a struggle to feel included.

 

[nowwhat]

after being told your entire life that you're mega smart and all your issues are your fault for not doing this or that.

Plus there's so much material that claims Aspies don't have empathy. It's not a lack of empathy, it's not knowing how to apply it so that others can see it!
<3

Once again, aspiescentral describes my life, expresses my thoughts.

 

[Antonio]

Speaking of, does anyone know if Aspies are prone to be religious? I'm guessing not since it involves being social... I say I'm spiritual not religious partially because I can't stand the social aspect of churches, partially because I can't comprehend unquestioning unchanging belief in something that isn't fact....

I'm "religious" but I find the social part hard.

 

[rollerskate]

Recently I've actually been considering going catholic. I read the catechism a few years ago and was quite impressed by how in depth it went compared to even my old seminary textbooks, and also got into using the rosary, but never attempted to take it any further. Recently I got the chance to chat with a local priest and was -quite- impressed by his I was treated. I find he agreed with many of my personal beliefs and expanded on them, didn't try to convert me or change my opinion on things I knew directly conflicted with his beliefs (I always test preachers and such out by throwing in some things I know they are sure to disagree with), and overall he seemed very caring and accepting of my individuality and personal path. It's got me curious enough to try going to his church just to see if the members are just as well balanced in their approach and can accept someone as odd as me...

 

[Fox]

I've never felt so included anywhere, online or in real life, than I do here. I joined here after surveying wrong planet and deciding it was just a little too much drama for my tastes. This place is full of others who are both supportive and kind. I have felt so much better since I started posting here again. Thanks for being here AC!!

 

[Peace]

I just want to say that in the couple of days I've been here, I really really love this place. I don't think I've ever felt so well accepted in an online social spot, that includes some Aspergers related places. I remember one chat I went to asking about my son, I mentioned I suspected he may have gotten it from me, and they decided to "test" me on the spot by giving me a quite complicated spatial/pattern question. At the time I couldn't focus due to my current surroundings, and being put on the spot like that didn't help either. I felt I took too long to answer, and when I expressed that they were quite cold. The whole attitude there was very elitist, and I had to try very hard not to start crying as I closed out of the chat even though they said I passed their little test. I must admit that was the last time I tried talking to other Aspies online.

The attitude here has been completely different, and I seriously appreciate that. It's hard enough to accept the possibility of having a developmental disorder after being told your entire life that you're mega smart and all your issues are your fault for not doing this or that. Then when you try to open up to others that have been diagnosed about it, hoping they'll accept and understand you, they act like it's some special club that you may not make the cool kid's cut for. And you're back to square one, wondering where on earth you fit in, because the people that know you either insist you're not putting forth enough effort, using the right methods, or like my mom does make lame excuses for you (oh you're just tired was her last one), and the people that don't that have what you suspect may be wrong with you are highly critical that you may just be trying to crash their party, like everyone WANTS to be that way like they want to be famous celebrities.

I don't want to be this way. Part of admitting I was in the first place was having the hope there was help out there that could cure me of it. Medication, therapy, SOMETHING.

It seems though my best hope this late in the game is to find others for support. At 30, there's not much about my behavior and way of thinking you can modify any more. However, I have every hope for my son that he can get help becoming as highly functional in an NT world as possible. I know that given the right assistance, he can go very, very far, and that gives me a lot of hope and a lot to live for.

Thank you for being such a great group. Part of what had me back to doubting us is that he and I are highly empathetic in that we care about others and aren't intentionally rude to anyone, and it seemed a lot of what I was seeing in other places was a lot of narcissism. Plus there's so much material that claims Aspies don't have empathy. It's not a lack of empathy, it's not knowing how to apply it so that others can see it!

<3

Well said madam,
I would point out that you too are part of our community and deserve as much of the credit as everyone else here. That is what makes this place a Home. Each of us understand what it is like to be in a place that is not safe, and we purposefully work to make this place the one where we can be at peace, and be ourselves without fear. Your positive contributions make us feel the same, and we thank you.
I am always glad to hear that others find the same Peace here that I do. Where else could we go to be accepted, and to share our feelings honestly? We hope you stay around as long as you need or desire to.
Live, Love Laugh, and be Aspie!