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That Time of Year Again

Shamar

Shamar

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I just realized that Social Season is once again upon us. Or at least me. Those of you who have been around for a few years may be familiar with this situation. For those that are not, here goes. I suffer from social phobia (think social anxiety on steroids), anthrophobia (fear of people, especially crowds), and an inability to form bonds or connections with people. I also suffer from extreme loneliness. The season from Halloween until after New Year's is especially troublesome. The emphasis on friendship, socializing, and family is like a continuous slap on the face, every day for over two months. It hurts.

Last year was the first year I was able to get through it without antidepressants (I take St John's Wort, it works well for me), and it was all because of the support from this forum, the closest thing to friends I have or have ever had. I want to thank in advance everyone here who I know will be there for me. I may not specifically ask for anything, but simply knowing you are there is an incredible help.

Thank You.
 
I can empathize and sympathize with your situation... and I don't even have social or anthrophobia. In my situation, whether we are the ones entertaining family or we are visiting during the holidays... my wife's family is finally understanding that my "social battery" is rather small. I am bound to my wife... and her battery is lot larger than mine... so I have to be there. The positive thing is that my wife's family consists of intelligent people having intelligent conversations... often things I am interested in. The negative thing is I really struggle with group conversation and the whole social environment, so I find myself in another room within earshot, not participating. This has been going on for decades and they are just used to it. They know of my autism diagnosis... they have some limited understanding of what that means.

For me, it's about pacing myself and finding moments for self-imposed "time out".
 
I wish for me it was just 2 months... people in this place party for everything all year round... the summer, the independence, the football, the start of school, the end of school, the birthdays, the weddings, the funerals, the elections, the snow, the end of the snow, the cows... it is endless... everything is an excuse to gather together and mostly gossip.
 
Glad to be able to be here for you. Throughout the year. could identify With your feelings for this time of year. Its all about making it through it one day at a time,I feel .
 
It's a little bit different for me, I've avoided anything to do with Christmas celebrations for decades now and I've mostly been successful with that. Christmas for me now means one phone call to a friend that lives 3000 Km away. Perfect.

There's another factor in the southern hemisphere though - it's summer. All the kids will be off of school for a couple of months and the roads will be bedlam with parents taking their kids places. It's also one of our peak tourism seasons so every little country town is full of tourists and young families and there's very few places you can go to get away from it all.
 
Outdated said:
It's a little bit different for me, I've avoided anything to do with Christmas celebrations for decades now and I've mostly been successful with that. Christmas for me now means one phone call to a friend that lives 3000 Km away. Perfect.

There's another factor in the southern hemisphere though - it's summer. All the kids will be off of school for a couple of months and the roads will be bedlam with parents taking their kids places. It's also one of our peak tourism seasons so every little country town is full of tourists and young families and there's very few places you can go to get away from it all.
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This upcoming holiday season may well be my first without any social or family contacts at all. A Christmas card sent to my nephew and former sister-in-law and that's about it.

My relationships with both my cousin and brother have essentially become estranged to a point where I prefer zero contact with either of them. And I'm pretty sure the feeling is quite mutual with both of them. Truth is, for me this is a long time coming.
 
Judge said:
My relationships with both my cousin and brother have essentially become estranged to a point where I prefer zero contact with either of them.
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You might find it a lot less stressful this year then. That's the way it is for me anyway.
 
Christmas in Australia is very different to that in the northern hemisphere pretty much specifically due to the school holidays. That's the time of year when most parents want time off of work to take the kids places, so the pace of life in general slows right down for that part of the year.

Most businesses will start slowing down for a couple of weeks before Christmas and many will shut the doors completely on Christmas Eve and not open again until after New Year's Day. Most businesses will be running understaffed until the end of January.
 
Christmas and Thanksgiving for me will be spent volunteering and feeding the homeless.

Forget spending it with my blood ties.
 
Spend many a Christmas and New Years by myself . After awhile thats just how it seems to go . Outlived friends . Family became one big issue of disparity . Long before friends passed on. But may have made at least one or maybe two friends via the net .😁.
Guess these are the holidays? whatever you consider them to be.
 
Metalhead said:
Christmas and Thanksgiving for me will be spent volunteering and feeding the homeless.

Forget spending it with my blood ties.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but just a day or two ago, didn't you say you had nothing to contribute? Looks like a pretty good contribution to me. More than a lot of people. And spending it away from your blood ties sounds like a pretty good contribution to yourself.
 
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717 said:
I wish for me it was just 2 months... people in this place party for everything all year round... ... the cows...
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Now I'm extremely curious... cow parties! My imagination has been having fun with this ever since I read it.

Personally, I enjoy talking with the cows, though they rarely have anything really brilliant to contribute to the conversation. Their eyes are very accepting, though.
 
Grondhammar said:
Now I'm extremely curious... cow parties! My imagination has been having fun with this ever since I read it.

Personally, I enjoy talking with the cows, though they rarely have anything really brilliant to contribute to the conversation. Their eyes are very accepting, though.
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Outdated said:
Sounds better than cow patties. :)
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I live in rural Texas, they do rodeos, Expos and so on... some weird stuff.
 
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