Not really new; I was active on this board a few years back, but haven't been around since.
Lived a tumultuous and painful life. I always knew life was difficult for some and easier for others. Mine was miserable, saved by the grace of a loving wife. When she died a few years back, I crumbled. I was her sole care provider as that bundle of joyous energy withered and died of multiple organ failure. My executive function barely extended to the necessities and my short term memory was useless. I was comforted by the knowledge that I was one of those guys who wouldn't last a year without his wife. I waited.
Maybe a year later, my son asked if I had any idea how irritating I was that night. No idea whatsoever. But the episode launched me onto my life's fourth great investigation into my isolation from others. Since the previous attempt, the APA had released their DSM 5, and I was staring myself squarely in the face. Great: I'm autistic. But at least, now I have the answer to the questions I have asked every single day of my life.
I learned a great deal off of this board, until I respectfully expressed an honest opinion in opposition to some advice being given to a girl who changed her gender every few weeks. I was cancelled in a heartbeat, and it threw me back a looong ways. This week, I thought I'd come back and look around. The board is a calmer place now and, no, that's not because of me.
One thing I learned here is to not allow others to determine my schedule. Another, is that it can take a while to get over even good social interactions.
I'm now the last mobile at the foot of the mountain, looking out at trees, turkeys and deer. I rarely go out except to shop, but the grandkids come over every week and beat me soundly. I wear headphones when I need to and keep the drapes closed most of the time. I've always been furious with myself for how little I've learned to play instruments, after the thousands of hours of practice. Now, I have a music room with acoustic, bass, electronic drums, a percussion pad and some DAW software. I don't care how it sounds; the hobby is in the effort. However, I have been blowing the best blues of my life on my blues harp. Actually, the blues notes are all inhale, but nobody wants to hear that you suck at the blues.
So, I'm speaking up again, hoping to reconnect with a community that once supported me. Hoping for the best.
Lived a tumultuous and painful life. I always knew life was difficult for some and easier for others. Mine was miserable, saved by the grace of a loving wife. When she died a few years back, I crumbled. I was her sole care provider as that bundle of joyous energy withered and died of multiple organ failure. My executive function barely extended to the necessities and my short term memory was useless. I was comforted by the knowledge that I was one of those guys who wouldn't last a year without his wife. I waited.
Maybe a year later, my son asked if I had any idea how irritating I was that night. No idea whatsoever. But the episode launched me onto my life's fourth great investigation into my isolation from others. Since the previous attempt, the APA had released their DSM 5, and I was staring myself squarely in the face. Great: I'm autistic. But at least, now I have the answer to the questions I have asked every single day of my life.
I learned a great deal off of this board, until I respectfully expressed an honest opinion in opposition to some advice being given to a girl who changed her gender every few weeks. I was cancelled in a heartbeat, and it threw me back a looong ways. This week, I thought I'd come back and look around. The board is a calmer place now and, no, that's not because of me.
One thing I learned here is to not allow others to determine my schedule. Another, is that it can take a while to get over even good social interactions.
I'm now the last mobile at the foot of the mountain, looking out at trees, turkeys and deer. I rarely go out except to shop, but the grandkids come over every week and beat me soundly. I wear headphones when I need to and keep the drapes closed most of the time. I've always been furious with myself for how little I've learned to play instruments, after the thousands of hours of practice. Now, I have a music room with acoustic, bass, electronic drums, a percussion pad and some DAW software. I don't care how it sounds; the hobby is in the effort. However, I have been blowing the best blues of my life on my blues harp. Actually, the blues notes are all inhale, but nobody wants to hear that you suck at the blues.
So, I'm speaking up again, hoping to reconnect with a community that once supported me. Hoping for the best.
