The delusions of progress and then real change

[Greening]

When I look back at my life, concerning autism that was undiagnosed until I was 48, I see a pattern of trying to make progress in certain fields. Most of them connected to the many ideas about "the need to be social". This is a path I believe many autistic people go, because we live in a world that has a strong focus, and belief, in ideas that we need to be with other people, that we are flock animals, but this is simply not true. In my own experience I am almost never lonely when I am alone, or I would rather say on my own. There is this very real experience of being submerged in the various interests I have had for years, and the recognition of how important being in nature, especially forests, is to me. I need to feel at home, and I do what it takes or go where I feel at home in this way. If, instead, I would have continued to try to fit in among people, whom I have nothing in common with. I would surely have become invisible. Luckily I figured that out and chose myself and my own time instead.

It can be summed up in many ways that it is important to find the answer not to the question "how to thrive?" but to "how do I thrive?", and steer after that with integrity and self-respect. In this way people who act as if I owe them something can easily be avoided.

Perhaps some of these thoughts are useful to others in here. That is why I share them.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

@ Greening, some good observations. However, I would also point out that humans, as a species, are very social and do find safety in numbers. We have big brains, but little else to protect us from predators. We congregate in large numbers and create weapons to make up for our lack of physical prowess. A strategy that has apparently served us well in terms of our survival.

I would also point out that being alone as a human puts us at risk. Thousands of years ago, perhaps even hundreds of years ago, this could be a death sentence. It hasn't been until very recently that the solitary human can live a full life. Even with that said, people who are isolated and lonely, even in today's world, have significantly shortened lifespans, by decades.

 

[Xinyta]

I would also point out that being alone as a human puts us at risk. Thousands of years ago, perhaps even hundreds of years ago, this could be a death sentence. It hasn't been until very recently that the solitary human can live a full life. Even with that said, people who are isolated and lonely, even in today's world, have significantly shortened lifespans, by decades.

I really feel like I am pulling that stupid John Cena meme on you. But I do seriously wanna ask. Are you sure about that?

Now I know old western shows generally fantasize and exaggerated the idea of mountain men and women to some degree. However, I really cannot believe the danger has ever really decreased THAT MUCH. Even with the tech we have now. The wild power of nature still remains the same. Sure some animal species have died out. And places in America are generally more domesticated compared to the way they use to be.

But. There is still places across the world that are untouched wilderness.

I cannot and will not believe people living outside a established society, in any time period, couldn't learn to live a full life off the land on thier own. But that's me.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I really feel like I am pulling that stupid John Cena meme on you. But I do seriously wanna ask. Are you sure about that?

Now I know old western shows generally fantasize and exaggerated the idea of mountain men and women to some degree. However, I really cannot believe the danger has ever really decreased THAT MUCH. Even with the tech we have now. The wild power of nature still remains the same. Sure some animal species have died out. And places in America are generally more domesticated compared to the way they use to be.

But. There is still places across the world that are untouched wilderness.

I cannot and will not believe people living outside a established society, in any time period, couldn't learn to live a full life off the land on thier own. But that's me.

Context: What do you consider a full life? 50 years? 70 years? 90 years? Do a simple Google search on "Lifespans of solitary humans" and you will find several articles on the topic. The consensus is that solitary, lonely people, statistically, have shortened lifespans, by quite a bit.

Where it is quite apparent is within the elderly population. Basically, lonely elderly folks, statistically speaking, do not live as long as those with social connections. Cultures that do not have senior living facilities, but rather have families that take care of them, the elders live much longer.

 

[Rodafina]

I think there is a big difference between choosing to socialize and figuring out a way to exist in a society. Very few of us have truly existed in isolation. Do we not shop at stores? Have jobs? Partake in the use of cars, trains, or buses? So many of us can happily exist in solitude and indeed, need it for proper functioning. But true isolation, beyond human connection, is a very different story and becomes a danger to survival (as @Neonatal RRT laid out in his post).

I think uncomfortably morphing ourselves to meet social expectations that we have created for ourselves in an attempt to "fit in" socially is definitely a good thing to leave behind as we grow and learn. On the other hand, figuring out a way to be part of the human society and never absolutely isolated seems like a good way to survive into old age and have a comfortable and content life. For my part, a very long period of feeling truly disconnected from humans altogether did not support my survival in this world and nearly allowed me to leave it altogether.

 

[Tom]

Homo Sapiens Sapiens is a social animal. It's in their genetic nature just like baboons, wolves, chickens, ants, etc have that sort of pre-programming.

But there are always exceptions, and you sometimes see it in other species (ie. lone wolf). It all developed based on survival strategies, what worked better. In todays developed world the environment is mostly different and you don't need to walk in a pack to improve your chances of not being eaten. Well in some places that still is the case in a manner of speaking. But even if you isolate yourself you still are likely to be dependant on the social system in dozens of ways as Rodafina pointed out. So it's largely pretending you are not part of the socail system because you don't chat or go to work parties.

But yes you can isolate yourself to a fair degree without serious consequence, for now. If circumstances change that may well change too. Some like to try 'going off the grid'. But in 99% of the cases they are not off, just moving in that direction.

Which is what I think you are doing. Moving to the edge of the crowd, not leaving it. Nothing new. Individuals have done this forever.

There is a reason autism is now measured in degrees of additional support (by society) needed. You may be ASD-1, but many are not and the number appears to be growing.

 

[Xinyta]

@Neonatal RRT

I would like to apologize. After rereading what you posted, I get where you are coming from.

What I tried to convey came from a honest place, but I, unfortunately, still had impulsive biases and psychological beliefs influencing it. Things I am still trying to work on.

I also, unfortunately, have switched to caffeinated instant coffee, because my decaf ran out. Not saying that is the main cause. But it played a factor. I hate being overly wired/jittery. I don't miss it.

---

Getting on topic.

I think what I was trying to say is that I think living on your own can be done. But I can see where human interaction can be needed. Trappers, hunters, and general mountain men would trade with eachother, or Indians, in older times.

But it also creates a set of rules that they go by as a general community. Even if they are set apart.

I have seen families, or a couple, try this kinda life on shows like Life Below Zero. I know that shows like that, pay people to do what they do. And some only are doing it for the money. But It's more about that it can be done. Not easily, of course.

Living a totally lonely life does take a toll. And I honestly can't believe I wasn't thinking about it before I posted. Considering my personal hell, in my head.

 

[Outdated]

But. There is still places across the world that are untouched wilderness.

I cannot and will not believe people living outside a established society, in any time period, couldn't learn to live a full life off the land on thier own. But that's me.

I did this for a long while. A lot of people (most) associate being alone with being lonely, that was not the case for me, I have no need of constant companionship. Quite a few people don't.

Living as a hunter gatherer in an arid climate isn't the healthiest of lifestyles. The idea of growing crops simply isn't feasible unless you can build the infrastructure required to get water to those crops, so the majority of your diet is meat. Fruits, nuts and vegetables are a delight when you find them but they're rare and seasonal.

If you get sick or injured you can't hunt so you don't eat. And then as you get better you don't have a great deal of energy and hunting is more difficult, recovering from illness takes longer.

When I first went bush I spent many months without seeing another human, which is what I wanted. But meeting other humans gave me access to a wider variety of foods and greatly improved my health.