I thought I was unable to love.
In my early 20s I started working for a family of missionaries caring for their 3 babies. E was 2 years old, H was 1 and A was only a couple of months old.
All I had to do was play with them, take them for walks, read to them and change a few diapers.
I ate with the family and was treated with respect and kindness. They all accepted me in a way no one had ever done before. I felt loved by this family.
And all of a sudden I realised that I completely loved those 3 little ones. I never even minded when the E and H came running to me to hug me. Their hugs and show of affection never felt repulsive to me. I loved holding them as I read to them and didn't mind if they played with my hair.
It was a feeling I had never felt for another human being. I would have given my life for them.
I had always believed that I was too selfish, incapable of loving anyone else but me.
I knew that I loved my pets, my dogs and birds. But people were scary and exhausting.
Is this part of being on the spectrum?
Is it normal to feel like you can't connect with anyone and not want to be around other people. Even those you are supposed to love, like parents and etc?
I'm rethinking my whole life now.
In my early 20s I started working for a family of missionaries caring for their 3 babies. E was 2 years old, H was 1 and A was only a couple of months old.
All I had to do was play with them, take them for walks, read to them and change a few diapers.
I ate with the family and was treated with respect and kindness. They all accepted me in a way no one had ever done before. I felt loved by this family.
And all of a sudden I realised that I completely loved those 3 little ones. I never even minded when the E and H came running to me to hug me. Their hugs and show of affection never felt repulsive to me. I loved holding them as I read to them and didn't mind if they played with my hair.
It was a feeling I had never felt for another human being. I would have given my life for them.
I had always believed that I was too selfish, incapable of loving anyone else but me.
I knew that I loved my pets, my dogs and birds. But people were scary and exhausting.
Is this part of being on the spectrum?
Is it normal to feel like you can't connect with anyone and not want to be around other people. Even those you are supposed to love, like parents and etc?
I'm rethinking my whole life now.