The Great Importance of Teaching Deferred Gratification

[Shiroi Tora]

Another article from my Blog http://2echild.blogspot.com

Extremely important to teach all those with Executive Functioning deficits.

In 1968, at Stanford university, a Professor Walter Mische conducted what has become known as the "Marshmallow Test". It was an experiment that used hundreds of 4 year olds (one at a time), an empty room with the exception of a video camera, a table and a marshmallow on a plate in front of the seated child. The child was told that they could eat the marshmallow immediately or, should they be able to not do so, in 15 min., they would be given 2 marshmallows to eat.


They were followed up many years later. They had found a great correlation among the children that could hold out...at least the longest....to being much more successful later in life. The ones that had held out all had done well....some of the ones that could not ( a much lower percentage ) had also become successful. This provides the thrust of this article.

The ones that had become successful despite their earlier failure had learned deferred gratification. It shows that one can overcome an earlier disposition.

Deferred Gratification simply means to put off then for greater returns later... to put in the effort and to reap greater rewards later in life.

Now, the ones in this particular experiment showed that the 4 year olds that had waited had used distraction (thinking about something else....looked away...fiddled with their hair...etc). A better way would involve keeping the desired result in focus and to enjoy the journey until reached.

Various techniques already exist...some instilled in our culture already. The saving of change in a piggy bank for a nice toy in a few months is a good example.

Sports / music / academics (taken seriously - hours a day of practice) is a great way to learn Deferred Gratification. It demonstrates to the child, so effectively, the real life benefits of striving then for great benefits later on. With positive results....positive behavior naturally follows. The "natural high" ....the internal satisfaction from achievement is a positive addiction....one in which the child strives to repeat. With the parents guidance....ensuring the appropriate goals are set before them....the child will become more and more motivated with each successive victory...they are then on the correct path of self mastery. This all important lesson is what keeps children drug / gang / failure resistant. The concept of future is instilled. Having a heavily desired goal (passion) with an efficient path lain out before the child (a direction for the resulting drive)...gives them a reason to forgo cheap Immediate Gratification at the sacrifice of directed Deferred Gratification.

With Positive Reinforcement of good behaviors and achievements...there is an immediate and a greater deferred gratification when the desired result is achieved. This is why Positive Reinforcement is such a powerful way of teaching.

Deferred Gratification is a result of having a goal...this instills drive...one that can overcome the drive for immediate gratification. With this important realization....children will make it a habit that will carry over into all aspects of their lives.

The key to this is a worthy goal...and worthy objectives along the way. Give them examples of success...great people in history or in life to emulate. Lay out the path necessary to achieve that goal....plant plentiful achievable objectives along the way and give plentiful Positive Reinforcement throughout.

With a map of their future before them....they will have a concrete example that can then be visualized, and so, conceptualized. This can then become a way for the child to measure their progress and provides a powerful motivator. Just as importantly....it appeals to your critically reasoning child because you will have established cause and effect in their minds...and not blind faith. Since it will make sense to them....it will become their journey...and their pride when they achieve the milestones along the way.

Drive is the most important variable in success. Deferred Gratification comes naturally to those with a passion in mind. For those without having realized their passions at that time (very few 4 year olds do)...Deferred Gratification is a necessary step to achieving their passions in the future....one that with practice...leads them to the realization of broader horizons (concept of future) to strive for....this will lead them to their passions....which develops their drive.

 

[krisi]

With this, I agree entirely, and here is why: Deferred gratification is the foundation concept for later goal-directed behavior and cognition. Without the understanding of "I wait for my 'reward'," one will not comprehend why they need to engage in something that may seem particularly unpleasant for a period of time (hours of studying, physically painful sports practices, draining rehearsals....etc) in order to achieve a desired, gratifying outcome.

There is one little bit that I'm not entirely sure about--where you say:

Now, the ones in this particular experiment showed that the 4 year olds that had waited had used distraction (thinking about something else....looked away...fiddled with their hair...etc). A better way would involve keeping the desired result in focus and to enjoy the journey until reached.

This is what separates the basic concept of deferred gratification and goal-directed behavior (a more mature concept). With delayed gratification, at least in the scenario with the marshmallow, there is nothing you can do to make the delayed gratification come faster, or make it better. In goal-directed behavior, the more fully you participate in the goal directed behavior and consider the benefits of that behavior, the more likely you are to have the most desirable outcome. Also in the marshmallow scenario, the marshmallow was temptation--it sat there while the children there had to exercise self-control to not take it. Thinking about other things, or engaging in self-stim behavior (e.g., fiddling with hair--yes, NT's stim too) is a way of redirecting attention in order to avoid temptation--which is another skill used in goal-directed behavior.

Thus, the child who has the marshmallow in front of them, but is choosing to wait, and chooses to sing for the fifteen minutes that they have to wait, will likely grow up to be the student in the library who wishes they were on their forum of choice instead of studying, but re-directs their attention to their studying, thus avoiding temptation. Or, if said student does need a study break, they may choose something less time consuming than their desired activity, to avoid thinking about the temptation that will waste rather a lot of precious time. These examples are shaky at best, but I think they illustrate the concepts that I'm trying to explain.

 

[Shiroi Tora]

Goal direction is a general term and one where DG is rarely apart from. The goal is the mountain top...DG is walking up the path without stopping to rest in the fields as they know they may never reach there in time or that it wwould take too long for their schedule. The goal direction was the reason the 2 marshmallows gave...the DG was what was practiced in order to reach it. You can be goal directed...but you can cheat...you won't be practicing DG but you could be getting a goal. Crime is an example...Money is the goal...drug dealing could bring in loads of it...higher risks....short term over the long term.....DG...getting your education and sacrificing short term for the long term...getting a good job....investing your money...forgoing the expensive toys. The right way is usually through DG.

Yes, I just used the first example to illustrate that DG can be introduced...that it wasn't necessarily inherent in the successful children.

I say of the two...GDB an DG...it is the practice of DG that is the more valuable...The goal is the reason for your passion in life....The DG is what you must do in order to reach it. You won't have DG without a goal and directing your behavior to it....but with GDB...unethical / immoral behavior can be used.

The practice of Deferred Gratification incorporates Goal direction for the sake of the long term and for the best overall result in life and not merely for the particular goal.

 

[krisi]

I see what you're saying, but I think both of these can go both ways. I definitely agree that DG is an inherrent part of GDB, but I do not believe that GDB can exist without DG. Even in the examples used, DG was part of the GDB. In order to successfully (I would assume, I've never tried it) commit a crime and actually receive the desired outcome (gratification), careful planning and waiting for the precise moment to act are involved. Yes, a person gets around doing the honest work to earn the money, but they still practice DG to some extent. Even if one is not committing major crime, like robbing a bank, and is stealing from, say, their college roommate (which is clearly still wrong), they still need to practice DG in order to obtain the money: They need to wait until they figure out how to gain access to their roommates's posessions (which may be secured or not), then they need to wait for an opportunity to take it when their roommate A) won't see the act and optimally B ) won't notice it's missing for quiet awhile. If they practice delayed gratification and wait until their roommate has just made a cash withdrawal from the bank, their rewards will be greater than if they try to raid their roommate's wallet/purse/safe/whatever two days before pay day, when it is likely to be quite empty. I would say in these situations, the crime involves DG moreso than the GDB of working to earn the same money. It's a GDB, just a different one, and it involves GD, just differently. Thus, unethical/immoral behavior can come from DG.

Another scenario of immoral DG and GDB(Have you ever read The Lovely Bones or seen the recent movie?): A serial murderer creates a situation where he is unlikely to be caught in his heinous act of inhumanity. He plots, waits, and watches his victim for months before he even makes an attempt at the murder. Rather than murdering the victim the moment he decides he wants to kill them, he waits for an opportune time to maximize his chances of having what for him will be a positive outcome (escaping punishment or suspicion).

Also, I really don't think that the marshmallow example (and so many other childhood experiences of DG) is a GDB. The child does not have to do anything except avoid the temptation. A GDB would be: You can have this one marshmallow now, or you can color two pages in this book (put together this puzzle, count out loud to 100, etc) and in fifteen minutes, I will give you two instead. In the first scenario, the child has to suppress behavior only. In the second, the child has to suppress behavior (not eat the marshmallow), and engage in a behavior. Something cannot be GDB unless the person involved is engaging in a behavior, and not just waiting to be acted on by an outside agent. Thus, DG alone can facilitate an external locus of control (The person will give me my marshmallows), but GDB facilitates an internal locus of control (I am working for my marshmallows).

 

[Shiroi Tora]

Deferred Gratification does not sacrifice the long term for the short...does not allow the possibility of it. Unethical behavior involves risk to the long term. At work (Correctional Officer), the Jails are filled with GDB people...not DG.

I am sorry...I didn't include the whole article...they found that the only ones who were successful in waiting the whole time were the ones who practiced a diversionary tactic. The others that had failed...kept looking at the prize.

But we are in agreement...GDB / DG are extremely important for children to learn.

 

[krisi]

But we are in agreement...GDB / DG are extremely important for children to learn.

Indeed, I suppose further argument would be splitting hairs over the semantics of each concept.