The guy I'm dating has completely crushed me

[FadeToBlack]

Hello,

I have diagnosed BPD and have been dating a person with Asperger's for the last 9 months. We were both aware of each other diagnosis. I feel like I have been always very sensitive to his diagnosis and I have always tried to understand him. Fast forward to few weeks ago he has an incident and he needed help to do even the most basic stuff so I said I was going to help. I stay with him 24/7, and do everything for him: cooking, cleaning, washing his clothes, groceries, buying him medicines, and empty his pee bottles as he is not very mobile and not always wants to walk to the toilet. I did all this from my heart as I love him and I would never leave someone in need in that situation. Saturday we have a conversation and turns out he doesn't love me, never has and all these months he only saw me as a friend. I am crushed. I feel played because which friend helps you the way I did, which friend has sex with you? Does he normally go out every week for dinners and other stuff with his friends?
Cherry on top is that yesterday calls me because I have used some of his suppositories while I lived at his place for 2 weeks. I didn't think it was an issue as I was doing anything for him +and told I will still help him out with anything if he requires it). I thought it wouldn't be a big issue as I would have bought more if he had needed the.. he said I was missing his point and the he wants to be independent and now I've created an issue for him. I honestly feel disgusted for how I was treated. I didn't expect that lack of respect, not even as a friend. I would never treat someone like that if I respect him her. How could he be so mean?

 

[Outdated]

Having autism is no guarantee of good character. I feel very sad that you went through this. I have never in my life experienced a woman looking after me like that, if it ever happened she'd probably win my heart forever.

You can definitely do better.

 

[Forest Cat]

That's incredibly selfish and immature. And after you basically did everything for him to help him because he was not able to do anything, he says he wants to be independent and you're a problem? What a jerk.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Being autistic does not excuse ethical failings. Yes, you were used, it was deliberate. His callousness towards you is who he is. So, when somebody shows you who they are, believe them. Run like the wind away from this creep. He will not change.

 

[Aspychata]

I have a ND friend, but he has been truthful with me, and did his best not to lead me on. So l see him as friends who do what we want to do. I don't have any anger or sadness because he didn't romance me as in a real relationship. His life is incredibly busy, and he is a very private person,so that pretty much ends anything more l can say about this. Lol



Just hope that you saw the warning signs and did lead yourself to believe something more was happening then was. It may feel hard right now, but you are reaching a spot of maturity understanding that you can put your expectations on others and expect that to line up. Also , my friend is super independent, and surprisingly, l really like that about him, that's a quality l enjoy are very independent people because it's a great sign of character.

Now are you going to be in his life, or do you choose now to no longer be in it? This is the hard question you need to ask yourself. I will always be friends myself, because we are very alike in some ways, and l always enjoy seeing him. Good luck to you.

 

[Aspychata]

You can't put your expections on others. My phone isn't letting me correct the above error.

 

[Rodafina]

Sorry you are hurting so much. Connection with others can cause alot of pain sometimes.

I stay with him 24/7, and do everything for him: cooking, cleaning, washing his clothes, groceries, buying him medicines, and empty his pee bottles as he is not very mobile and not always wants to walk to the toilet

Did he ask you to do this or did you offer?

feel played because which friend helps you the way I did,

This feels like a normal thing to do for someone who has been sick. Some friends are like family members and you do anything for them. There is nothing indicative of romance in caring for someone who is ill.

which friend has sex with you?

Lots of friends do this. Hopefully there is clear understanding and communication, which sadly you did not get, but sex is the whole idea behind “friends with benefits.”

 

[Tom]

"Liberté, Egalité, Suppositorie!"

"Let them drink Prune Juice"



It's atrocious. The suppositories just took it to a new level of bizarre.

 

[AO1501]

@Tom I know that's not you in the photo, but why is that guy wearing a hat of flaming candles?

Sorry, off topic. My bad, but I had to ask.

 

[Aspychata]

Prey thee kind hearted man, why wouldn't you share your hard earned xxxx with thee wrench who holds your loins? I pity thee, but l disgress.

 

[Sasha22]

I'm sorry too that you have to go through that kind of pain, but I'm glad you're rid of the guy. Doesn't deserve the help or you. I hope you meet a good person.

 

[Tom]

@Tom I know that's not you in the photo, but why is that guy wearing a hat of flaming candles?

Sorry, off topic. My bad, but I had to ask.

Birthday boy?

 

[Aspychata]

Dating isn't something l have much interest in anymore. The perfect cup of coffee, a nice day at the beach, a run at my gym- that's all l need to be happy. So if you have a good friend, and you get along great, then you can't just go swap out a friend and think everything will be the same. We truly get along, and we have been friends and weathered many things, and are supportive with each other. They know and understand me. I am not a serial dater. Lol And l maybe living with a longterm partner in about 9 months, so l guess l am not interested. @phantom

 

[paloftoon]

He has to learn the hard way. If you owe him anything, pay him what owe him. Then, run fast and don't help him out. Not even as a friend. Cut off all contact immediately afterward and block if you have to. No explanation needed for this one.