The power of positive affirmations..

[Spiller]

I've read any number of threads and posts here over time, a few of my own included, that ooze negativity and depression - as a sufferer of severe depression myself, believe me when I say I absolutely understand, sympathise and experience personally the dark place those posters are in!

For many of us this seems to be in the nature of the ASD beast.

Every time we think something negative about ourselves, not only do we feel a little worse, not only does our self confidence and esteem suffer, we sabotage our own behaviour such that we unwittingly bring negativity, lack, loss into our own lives and perpetuate a worsening cycle of negativity.
When I started with affirmations, decades ago, it was in the knowledge that this stuff came from that huge and growing body of popular, glossy, feel-good, spiritual literature that people buy as a coffee-table fashion accessory and rarely actually read.. but, after years of isolation and loneliness, I felt I had nothing to lose, literally!
That didn't negate the efficacy of the process for me though and, while I do have some really serious dark times, I've still used affirmations over the years to effect positive change in my life.

More recently I started practicing CBT/NLP/DBT techniques in an effort to improve my mind-set and situation after a major burnout that cost me my business and very nearly my life. By one of those serendipitous coincidences I was just given a little book by Louise Hay, website here, that's got me practicing affirmations again and I'm pleasantly surprised to find that the idea is pretty much NLP, just without the clinical flavour and with added pastely flowers..

Currently I say to myself: "My life is full of Love, Peace and Prosperity", over and over, either silently, or aloud in the mirror, while looking directly into my own eyes (mirror work), whenever I catch a self-derisive thought entering my mind. It takes some time, just as does NLP, but it's effective.

What do you think of this?
I wonder how many of you have tried affirmations and if you found they had a positive effect on you.. on your life?
How much better (or not) do you feel?
What's changed in your life?
How hard do you find it to do mirror work?
Do you think it's all rubbish or would you give it a go?

 

[watersprite]

...

If I think I'm using affirmations I will balk at it, so I don't label it that. I'm replacing negatives with positive statements, gradually but definitively. I feel better, don't know how to quantify it in words.

See thread Post Your Art.

Mirror work is impossible for me.

As for me, I'm giving it a go. [This is partly thanks to a previous thread where you, Spiller and Warmheart and others gently pointed out to me with warm encouragemnt what I was doing to myself with the negativity.]

 

[Spiller]

I remember that thread, kestrel, and I've been glad to see that you seem so much happier
What is it about mirror work that makes it impossible for you?
When I do it sometimes, especially when I can't believe the.. positive statement , I've retched, then been physically sick, but that's a sign to persevere and I've found it does get easier.

 

[Harrison]

I am a firm believer in modelling a positive attitude albeit slightly at variance with the Hay method and CBT. The difference matters not as the results are probably the same.

You may be interested in the attached article, a brief extract is here...

"Similarly, experiments conducted in medical settings clearly demonstrate that people who believe they have control during stressful procedures cope better than those undergoing the same procedures but not exposed to control-enhancing interventions, as indicated by a broad array of physiological, health-related, and affective measures; these effects occur
even when that "control" is largely perceived rather than actual".

 

[watersprite]

I am a firm believer in modelling a positive attitude albeit slightly at variance with the Hay method and CBT. The difference matters not as the results are probably the same.

You may be interested in the attached article, a brief extract is here...

"Similarly, experiments conducted in medical settings clearly demonstrate that people who believe they have control during stressful procedures cope better than those undergoing the same procedures but not exposed to control-enhancing interventions, as indicated by a broad array of physiological, health-related, and affective measures; these effects occur
even when that "control" is largely perceived rather than actual".

Agree. Though it seems to require a "pathway in" which the individual feels works for him &/or doesn't set off stubborn balkiness in my case.
[Also, an interesting (to me) coincidence is that my son did his science project a couple months back about the influence of belief on stress, and this article was part of the background reading he did.]

 

[Progster]

Yes, I agree, and a lot of the literature available about AS often paints a very negative picture of the condition. Many authors seem to regard it as a problem to be solved, and that doesn't do our self-esteem any good. That's why I often recommend the book "Appreciating Aspergers Disorder" by Brenda Boyd, because she points out that there are many positive aspects which are often missed out while examining the negative aspects, and she aims to encourage our self-esteem.

 

[Nitro]

"I once complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet"


My advocacy work for the brain-damaged community calls to mind an attitude that anyone can adopt. I preach positivity as a total way of life when I am speaking to my peers. I feel negative thoughts bring on even more of a load on a person who is down and out. Given the challenges I had to face a few years ago,it would have been easy to just accept that things were going to be different and life as I knew it was over. That was not the route I chose,I sought improvement in as many aspects as possible and used it as my driving force. I have spoken to so many brain injured that take a woe is me attitude and sit down and wait for something to happen. I tell them that a person has to make the changes they seek in themselves. Never quit and never say never,there are always changes that can be made including an adjustment of their attitude in a positive direction.I met a severely brain-damaged non-vocal girl who bested that part of her disability by communicating with a computer. She made a change for the positive that improved her situation. She is one sharp cookie after she opened up and we conversed.
My friend Don is a remarkable man I met during my rehabilitation who was wheelchair bound,little movement in his arms and had difficulty talking. He is trapped inside his own head,but has a very positive attitude in spite of his road he was forced to travel abruptly. He was very hard to understand at first,but sparkled like the finest diamond after we spent some time together. Don was a very strong inspiration for my recovery and now a friend for life.

 

[Warmheart]

Yes, I do positive affirmations,and allow myself to sink deeply into them, kinda like immersing myself into a healing, warm bath.

But, I really love positive reframes even better. Quite dynamic! When starting to get totally tanked into my black & white thinking and depressed, a reframe is great. It snags me by my schnoz and whips me boldly around 180 degrees.
Here's some examples of positive reframes from my life:

Original Ouchie Thought: I am legally blind, cannot drive, and may lose remaining vision.
Positive Reframe: Few get to appreciate what they see with such tremendous depth of gratitude and appreciation as I have.
Resulting Feeling: Every morning I open two gifts... they are my eyes.

Original Ouchie Thought: I'm autistic with some freaky deep shutdowns, bombastic meltdowns, and totally mortifying social dork-outs!
Positive Reframe: Phenomenal, fantastic, compelling, AWESOME, kaleidescopic autistic mindscape means I have never (not ever) been bored. And, I never will be!
Resulting Feeling:


WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

I've read any number of threads and posts here over time, a few of my own included, that ooze negativity and depression - as a sufferer of severe depression myself, believe me when I say I absolutely understand, sympathise and experience personally the dark place those posters are in!

For many of us this seems to be in the nature of the ASD beast.

Every time we think something negative about ourselves, not only do we feel a little worse, not only does our self confidence and esteem suffer, we sabotage our own behaviour such that we unwittingly bring negativity, lack, loss into our own lives and perpetuate a worsening cycle of negativity.
When I started with affirmations, decades ago, it was in the knowledge that this stuff came from that huge and growing body of popular, glossy, feel-good, spiritual literature that people buy as a coffee-table fashion accessory and rarely actually read.. but, after years of isolation and loneliness, I felt I had nothing to lose, literally!
That didn't negate the efficacy of the process for me though and, while I do have some really serious dark times, I've still used affirmations over the years to effect positive change in my life.

More recently I started practicing CBT/NLP/DBT techniques in an effort to improve my mind-set and situation after a major burnout that cost me my business and very nearly my life. By one of those serendipitous coincidences I was just given a little book by Louise Hay, website here, that's got me practicing affirmations again and I'm pleasantly surprised to find that the idea is pretty much NLP, just without the clinical flavour and with added pastely flowers..

Currently I say to myself: "My life is full of Love, Peace and Prosperity", over and over, either silently, or aloud in the mirror, while looking directly into my own eyes (mirror work), whenever I catch a self-derisive thought entering my mind. It takes some time, just as does NLP, but it's effective.

What do you think of this?
I wonder how many of you have tried affirmations and if you found they had a positive effect on you.. on your life?
How much better (or not) do you feel?
What's changed in your life?
How hard do you find it to do mirror work?
Do you think it's all rubbish or would you give it a go?

Spiller, good post but I will admit that I never tried affirmation as a coping mechanism.
I simply considered my detractors as not wishing to understand me and too quick to condemn and cast dispersions. I did not need them then or now.
Why the Aspers seek the pat on the back from the mediocre majority, is beyond me.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

I am a firm believer in modelling a positive attitude albeit slightly at variance with the Hay method and CBT. The difference matters not as the results are probably the same.

You may be interested in the attached article, a brief extract is here...

"Similarly, experiments conducted in medical settings clearly demonstrate that people who believe they have control during stressful procedures cope better than those undergoing the same procedures but not exposed to control-enhancing interventions, as indicated by a broad array of physiological, health-related, and affective measures; these effects occur
even when that "control" is largely perceived rather than actual".

Harrison, again you are a boon to this forum. Your insight and clarity is worth a read and thought.

 

[watersprite]

Warmheart just made me realize I've been doing re-frames, not affirmations. Thank You.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

Yes, I do positive affirmations,and allow myself to sink deeply into them, kinda like immersing myself into a healing, warm bath.

But, I really love positive reframes even better. Quite dynamic! When starting to get totally tanked into my black & white thinking and depressed, a reframe is great. It snags me by my schnoz and whips me boldly around 180 degrees.
Here's some examples of positive reframes from my life:

Original Ouchie Thought: I am legally blind, cannot drive, and may lose remaining vision.
Positive Reframe: Few get to appreciate what they see with such tremendous depth of gratitude and appreciation as I have.
Resulting Feeling: Every morning I open two gifts... they are my eyes.

Original Ouchie Thought: I'm autistic with some freaky deep shutdowns, bombastic meltdowns, and totally mortifying social dork-outs!
Positive Reframe: Phenomenal, bombastic, compelling, AWESOME, kaleidescopic autistic mindscape means I have never (not ever) been bored. And, I never will be!
Resulting Feeling:


WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

Warmheart. Yes I agree, Aspers have a super power. We must get that message out, everyday, to those that are beaten down.

 

[NTgirl4276]

There's a couple of mantras (that I learned early on in my yoga practice) that I tend to repeat to myself in stressful, overwhelming, or depressing situations. I also often write them on my bathroom mirror in chalk markers, so that I see them every morning as soon as I wake up:

1. How I think is how I feel, how I feel is how I behave, how I behave is what I create in my life.
2. Sky above me, earth below me, fire within me.

I'm not sure why these work for me, but they do. I just repeat them over and over, and they make me feel like I'm back in control.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

There's a couple of mantras (that I learned early on in my yoga practice) that I tend to repeat to myself in stressful, overwhelming, or depressing situations. I also often write them on my bathroom mirror in chalk markers, so that I see them every morning as soon as I wake up:

1. How I think is how I feel, how I feel is how I behave, how I behave is what I create in my life.
2. Sky above me, earth below me, fire within me.

I'm not sure why these work for me, but they do. I just repeat them over and over, and they make me feel like I'm back in control.

NT, you are in control if you want to be in control. No one can take control of you. You can give up control, but why. It is easy to validate your every thought, word and deed. Who knows you better than you. Optimize your life by validating your freedom of will, to overcome those situations that are setbacks. Nothing succeeds like success, they say. Even small successes add up to increased optimism, boldness and accomplishment.

 

[Nitro]

NT, you are in control if you want to be in control. No one can take control of you. You can give up control, but why. It is easy to validate your every thought, word and deed. Who knows you better than you. Optimize your life by validating your freedom of will, to overcome those situations that are setbacks. Nothing succeeds like success, they say. Even small successes add up to increased optimism, boldness and accomplishment.

Very well put
Every notch in the win category counts towards wellness. Your own mind can be either a trap or a treasure.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

I am a firm believer in modelling a positive attitude albeit slightly at variance with the Hay method and CBT. The difference matters not as the results are probably the same.

You may be interested in the attached article, a brief extract is here...

"Similarly, experiments conducted in medical settings clearly demonstrate that people who believe they have control during stressful procedures cope better than those undergoing the same procedures but not exposed to control-enhancing interventions, as indicated by a broad array of physiological, health-related, and affective measures; these effects occur
even when that "control" is largely perceived rather than actual".

I think that Colvin and Block may have issues.
The failure to trust ones own decisions, things learned through failures and successes, the acquisition of wisdom, the when and where to make a move tend to limit the desire to even try anything new.

I learned this from Eric Hoffer. Para phrase: do not be afraid of attempting something new, because of possible failure. If it is truly a new thing it is unreasonable to expect perfection out of the gate. Expect to fail. Learn from the failure and try a different approach until you succeed. The successes lead to wisdom and that leads to health. I could be wrong.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

Very well put
Every notch in the win category counts towards wellness. Your own mind can be either a trap or a treasure.

Nitro, clear and succinct, unlike my endless gibberish. Thank you!

 

[AsheSkyler]

Just trying not to frown may help. I saw an interesting documentary once that was studying facial expressions and noticed the grumpy faces were actually grumpy at the end of the day. They studied it and found the brain to secret chemicals based on facial expressions.

I tend to opt for level-ground kind of phrases. "I may be as sinner, but you're no saint either!" I find myself very uncomfortable with saying positive things about myself, and saying negative things about myself just makes me angry. Staying in the middle makes me feel like I'm firm-footed but not stuck, confident but not cocky, and other middle things. In it's own way, it makes me happy.

 

[Berianireth]

I totally endorse positive affirmations, although I think there's more to being healthy than that. Sometimes you have to fish negative thoughts out like you are cleaning a clogged drain! I see a counselor for a variety of reasons weekly, and I try to bring up negatives and start conversations I know I'm unwilling to have. It takes repetition... motivation! You can be dishonest in therapy, too. I try to reinforce healthy behaviors with affirmations, but when I'm on my own I also like to make time to analyze negative thoughts I KNOW I have while I am doing something that requires little concentration (ie working out, dishes, etc) and make the thoughts a little less negative.
Like for example maybe I think my mother wants me to feel unhealthy because she adores receiving pity when I am in crisis... I have to tell myself that all people say mean and hurtful things without realizing it sometimes, and often they do it in an effort to protect themselves from their own issues... etc! And my mother would not have come all this way to see me if she didn't just care!

 

[Spiller]

I totally endorse positive affirmations, although I think there's more to being healthy than that. Sometimes you have to fish negative thoughts out like you are cleaning a clogged drain! I see a counselor for a variety of reasons weekly, and I try to bring up negatives and start conversations I know I'm unwilling to have. It takes repetition... motivation! You can be dishonest in therapy, too. I try to reinforce healthy behaviors with affirmations, but when I'm on my own I also like to make time to analyze negative thoughts I KNOW I have while I am doing something that requires little concentration (ie working out, dishes, etc) and make the thoughts a little less negative.
Like for example maybe I think my mother wants me to feel unhealthy because she adores receiving pity when I am in crisis... I have to tell myself that all people say mean and hurtful things without realizing it sometimes, and often they do it in an effort to protect themselves from their own issues... etc! And my mother would not have come all this way to see me if she didn't just care!

^Interesting^

Something that came clear while reading 'I Can Do It' by Louise Hay, (which only took me about an hour really), is that our parents' attitude, being transferred to us as we learn to imitate them and understand the world, also contains their feelings about the details of their own lives and how they feel about them - if my parents were poor and they felt that, no matter how hard they worked and how hard they tried, they never seemed to get anywhere, then that negative thought/affirmation/mantra continued to attract lack into their lives as long as they kept telling themselves that that was the case, believing it and behaving in that manner.
The thing is, I then unwittingly carried their attitude and that aspect of it, within my psyche, my belief-set, right up to the time I became aware of it and realised it was erroneous.. and only now can I begin to fix it!

What about isolation and loneliness? Self confidence?
Difficulties my folks had - not to the extent I do, but the belief is certainly there.