The problem with taking things literally

[Suzanne]

I have seriously had the most awful day, mentally and suffered physically for it and such: WASTED energy, despite actually, being very busy physically!

I took it literally when my husband said that I should work first and play later, and so, horribly I spent the whole night, psyching myself up to be busy ( lazy because of loving being online) and so, come the morning, I was in high nervous tension and felt very ill at ease and to be truthful, imagined my husband's eyes were constantly on my back and so, I dared go online, but lol did manage to clean about 5 verandah windows!

I am horribly afraid that I hated my husband today (yes I know, a very strong emotion), and could barely look at him or want to associate with him and every time, he spoke, I felt he was making digs at me!

Believe it or not, but it was finally (because I felt permission was given), coming on here, that actually calmed me down! I was on chat and I suddenly thought: this is a bit unfair, that I am having fun talking to my aspie friends, when I am giving my husband the silent treatment and so, went to him and asked how he felt about giving me a cuddle and love him, he said, that he is always there to give me a cuddle and then I said: I am afraid that I shall need to cry and did and he was so lovely towards me.

Just regret today

 

[fuzz]

Hi

I experience that hating people who I don't hate thing. Especially happens with work colleagues.

I must say if your husband did not literally mean 'work first and play later' I cannot figure out what he did mean myself.

I am sure your husband did not mean to cause any anxiety to you, he sounds like a great guy who cares a lot for you

 

[Vinca]

I care that you had an awful day and that you feel the way you do about it and would very much like to say something kind, caring and encouraging to you (but i'm not sure what to say that would be kind, caring and encouraging). I was greatly moved (emotionally) by the reconnecting of you and your husband.

 

[Warmheart]

My deep compassion for your suffering. It sounds as if your wonderful hubby understands you, and really can see the sunshine and sparkles in your goodhearted spirit. Sometimes our neurology can make us so unhappy, it takes a special courage to take a deep breath and know that the present emotions are temporary, and that things will feel better soon. You did a good thing to seek out your darling. May today feel much better for you.

 

[Kirsty]

Yeah what does work hard play later actually mean? I'd have taken that literally too.

 

[Suzanne]

I care that you had an awful day and that you feel the way you do about it and would very much like to say something kind, caring and encouraging to you (but i'm not sure what to say that would be kind, caring and encouraging). I was greatly moved (emotionally) by the reconnecting of you and your husband.

You just did! Thank you so much for just being sympathetic, rather than judgmental!

 

[Suzanne]

My deep compassion for your suffering. It sounds as if your wonderful hubby understands you, and really can see the sunshine and sparkles in your goodhearted spirit. Sometimes our neurology can make us so unhappy, it takes a special courage to take a deep breath and know that the present emotions are temporary, and that things will feel better soon. You did a good thing to seek out your darling. May today feel much better for you.

He can be wonderful, but only when I go to him with a humble heart (even if I am not wrong)! He sadly, does not understand me or want to! There is tons of information about aspergers, and he is just so casual about it all; oh when I have time etc etc there is no: my wife suffers this, I ought to try and find out as much as I can, so that we can work together; nope is: she suffers but she has to work out how to live with me!

 

[Suzanne]

Yeah what does work hard play later actually mean? I'd have taken that literally too.

Oh Kirsty, THANK YOU for your understanding! My husband is lovely, but very dogmatic, which gets me having many meltdowns!

 

[Moondragon007]

He can be wonderful, but only when I go to him with a humble heart (even if I am not wrong)! He sadly, does not understand me or want to! There is tons of information about aspergers, and he is just so casual about it all; oh when I have time etc etc there is no: my wife suffers this, I ought to try and find out as much as I can, so that we can work together; nope is: she suffers but she has to work out how to live with me!

My sister is like that, and I think a lot of NTs are too - they think since we are the "abnormal" ones, we should be the ones to adapt to the "norm" instead of the other way around. It doesn't occur to them that if we COULD adapt, we WOULD! Nobody likes being an outcast in your own society.