The Problem With Wanting A Perfect Partner

[KevinMao133]

We all want to date people who are confident, witty and charming, yet we often ignore the ones who are really smart but don’t show it

The problem with wanting a perfect partner is this: perfection doesn’t exist. It’s just a myth and something created to spread hatred amongst us

Even if that said person exist, what makes you think he would want to date you? If I’m confident, witty and charming, my options will be endless, I wouldn’t consider normal people just because I get approached by different types of women everyday

So my advice is this: the most loyal guys tend to be guys who are not confident as well as nerdy. If you are able to accept them and love them for who they are when the whole world hates them for who they are, then they will more likely remember it for the rest of their lives. I know that because I am that guy. I still remember when I was down in my life, feeling hopeless. Toronto accepted me with open arms instead of rejecting me. That’s why Toronto will also have a special place in my heart, no matter what and I will never talk bad about the city because of what happened

One more thing: I no longer have any standards when it comes to dating. At this point, I’m ok with anything, as long as they don’t hate me and are willing to strike up conversations with me

 

[Xinyta]

I'll agree that 'perfect people' are not possible to find, as we all are flawed. I'll even agree to the idea of lowering standards, if they are too high.

But lowering standards and sacrificing them, are two different things.

To have no standards is a equally harmful extreme, as having too high of standards. While sure, you'll get more people that likely will come to you because of how open you are. You are opening yourself up to the problems that come with it. STDs, manipulation, and other things that are... too NSFW for this site.

It's impossible to not have some kind of standards. There are standards inherently built into us, whether we like to admit it to ourselves or not. To deny it, is denying ourselves. Much like thinking we breathe manually, when we actually do so automatically.

But at the end of it all. Life IS only experienced by trying things. We all have to live and learn.

 

[FayetheAspie]

We all want to date people who are confident, witty and charming, yet we often ignore the ones who are really smart but don’t show it

Not really. If someone acts real "charming " it seems to turn on my they could potentially be a narcissist/psycopath alarm mode and I am very cautious about trusting them at all. I would definitely not be going on no date with them.

 

[Judge]

Personally I've always seen dating as an unreasonable social ritual with all kinds of expectations involving unwritten rules of conduct and behavior. All under a guise of "a leap of faith".

That most people "date" those they don't really know with only the possibility of courtship. With utterly no guarantees. Leaving a number of us with a more logical choice of accepting the reality that the scope of our ability to seek courtship being greatly diminished compared to those willing to date.

Where in my own case I accepted the idea of making friendships, where in some cases they might and did lead to something better. Even then, even when you've lived with someone for years on intimate terms is no guarantee you will truly know- or understand them.

Leaving romance itself regardless of the outcome, a "leap of faith". That if you seek perfection and bliss in any relationship, the odds are extremely against you. -Autistic or not.