The Reaction of Friends and Loved Ones to Your Diagnosis

[Sportster]

. . .

 

[Ylva]

My sister was in denial for awhile, but has come to accept it. I somehow doubt I'd like to be neurotypical, even though it would be nice to be able to think clearly while under social pressure.

I just don't think their thoughts are as clear as mine can get. I might end up feeling muddled all the time until I just got used to it, instead of just being distracted while being touched or stared at.

 

[Cerulean]

My family doesn't know, in my mind I'm just different, weird, eccentric, and they've made their peace with that, so I don't see any reason to start crowing about my problems now. I have been slowly coming out to a few close friends, and they've been really nice and interested to learn. It only surprised one of them, and he's mostly been an online friend so I can kind of be normal with him- he doesn't see any of my social problems or meltdowns or stimming stuff. It turns out I have one friend who has been medicated for anxiety and OCD for years and years, and it was nice for both of us to have someone who can really relate to it.

 

[Arashi222]

You will have three cateogries of people usually. One category will be people that accept it and accepted you long before you had a dx, second the people who accept you but don't want to talk about it or deny it or whatever, then you have the third group of people these are the people who call you a liar, don't believe you and probably never truely accpeted you as you anyway so the dx just makes it even more clear that they shouldn't be in your life. Now that being said....

My family my close family accepts it we talk about sometimes but it doesn't really need to be because they all know I do certain things and that is that. I have some close friends who fit into the first and second category. Some of them accept me and want talk and ask questions others just want to think I'm weird and that's fine. I have also run into the last category i described where by ex-friends now have told me that they think I am lying because one am a girl and two I don't act Autistic enough .Ok first of all I have AS. Second why would I lie. I think it can be hard for people to accept that their friend or family member has something neurological that is different. Really the DX is more for our state of being and our mental health than anything other maybe work accommodations and such.

 

[wyverary]

Maybe this is a little odd, but I've never been able to precisely gauge how my family has reacted to and internalized my diagnosis. I never got the impression that they are in denial or hold it against me, but I can't say I'm certain that it has radically affected their view of me and of my quirks. Things just...carry on as usual, I suppose?

As for friends...My definition of "friend" is someone with whom we enjoy each other's company, and we accept each other for who we are. I have some people like that; I prefer not to blur the line between "friend" and "casual acquaintance." The friends who know about it are, if anything, quite accepting of it, and have been like, "Oh, THAT explains it!" in reference to my anti-social tendencies and other quirks. Anyone who would react negatively is no friend of mine.

 

[Leej07]

My dad is clueless, my mom thinks I'm just being a hypochondriac.

 

[Aalo]

My story short:
I haven't got to tell my family. Anyone still alive won't need me to be, so why share my life with them.

After getting diagnosis I told my oldest friend that I suspect having AS, and left it there. She's been knowing me long enough to know how I am, and won't need more information. She completely understood, it was ok, we didn't need to talk about it and nothing really changed between us.
For now I don't feel any other is in contact with me than much they'd need to know.

 

[rhubarbo]

I am a relatively late diag at 38.

I am debating telling more people. I am caught between any harm it might do to my career and wanting to reach out to other people that may either need my help or that could help me. I am simply waiting it out and feeling out the situation. I am not, by any means, ashamed of it. I just don't want to be reckless.

Like wyverary (above) I don't think I can gauge the reactions of the two people that I have told with 100% accuracy. My partner (wife) basically noted it explained a lot of things, and then gave a nearly passive expression on how it does not change anything at all and we move on. Another relative's expression was closer to "Oh my Gosh, that means *I* might have this" turning the discussion entirely to what they might have at stake.

I was kind of perturbed at the later response but, like I said, I could be wrong and time will tell.

 

[Biblio-Love]

I haven't told anyone, besides my husband, and I don't see any reason to tell anyone else or pursue an official diagnosis. The people who are my friends, and the family I love, have already accepted my anti-social and neurotic tendencies. When I was diagnosed as OCD and bi-polar, and then later with MS, it made everyone worry all the time. They still worry, so why heap more stress on to them. My self-diagnosis helps me understand myself better though, and I like this site because I feel you all have a sympathetic ear. But no use worrying over things that can't be changed. I would recommend that only the people that HAVE to know should be told, and only if those people will support you.

Fact is that people judge, and I want my friends and family to see me as simply a person, not as a person with MS or a person with AS. A diagnosis is a label, which pigeon holes people. I don't like labels and I don't like people trying to "figure me out."