The word "tolerance"

[RidingDutchman]

Am I alone in disliking the word tolerance? It has a pretty degrading ring to it.

If I think of tolerating it's "something that you dislike but allow to exist" which is a really odd thing to say to human.

You tolerate your shoes getting wet when it rains, you tolerate having to wait at the grocery store a bit longer because the cash registry broke down and you tolerate a puppy peeing on the carpet when you just take it in your house.

Try telling a person "I tolerate you" and it suddenly gets a rather nasty ring behind it.

Am I just taking things too literally here or is this something more people think about?

 

[Mia]

It's used in many different ways in the english language, there has been a lessening of the strict interpretation of its original meaning over a period of time. It can mean the allowable deviation from a standard, or the sympathy or belief of a practice differing from one's own. A fair, objective or permissive attitude towards opinions or peoples or religions, or races.

 

[Datura]

I have always advocated for acceptance over tolerance.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'm not a big fan of it either.

Whenever there are those "teaching tolerance" nag videos, my demented side always wonders if they're trying to teach us to dislike something rather than allowing it to exist. Tends to be the effect it has on me anyway.

 

[Progster]

I have always advocated for acceptance over tolerance.

I agree. "Acceptance" has a more positive ring to it, though they don't mean exactly the same thing.

 

[Suzanne]

Yes it is not a very tasteful word.

We are tolerating looking after a couples' dog whilst they are on holiday. Another was going in to feed him, but it was noted the little chap was whimpering and unfortunately, we were the closest to take him in, however, for what ever reason, he goes to the toilet inside ( thankfully the a pee pee) and this is despite having access outside! So he has to be tied up! I can't wait to hand him over and thus, we have to tolerate him for now! Actually, hopefully he will be going back tonight or tomorrow. Oh he is a lovely chappy and has taken a liking to me ( strange for I am not an animal lover).

Indeed tolerating something is saying that you do not like it, but have to do it and well, it is rather a fact of life!

 

[Tom]

...Try telling a person "I tolerate you" and it suddenly gets a rather nasty ring behind it.

It does, but I do not think the word is normally used in that way, directly with a person.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Am I alone in disliking the word tolerance? It has a pretty degrading ring to it.

If I think of tolerating it's "something that you dislike but allow to exist" which is a really odd thing to say to human.

You tolerate your shoes getting wet when it rains, you tolerate having to wait at the grocery store a bit longer because the cash registry broke down and you tolerate a puppy peeing on the carpet when you just take it in your house.

Try telling a person "I tolerate you" and it suddenly gets a rather nasty ring behind it.

Am I just taking things too literally here or is this something more people think about?

My NT brother thinks the same way that you do, about that word. I think that when most people use the word "tolerance" they just mean lack of prejudice, and stuff. But you are right about the nuances that are attached to the word itself.

 

[On the Inside]

I have no trouble with the use of the word in a detached, impersonal way. I have heard people talk about "tolerating" others when the other was not there, as in overlooking some negative because there are a lot more positives. I have also heard it used as "I will not tolerate", as in setting a boundary. But I think saying "I tolerate you" directly to someone is conveying a very negative opinion in a snarky way.

 

[Judge]

Quite frankly I wouldn't likely tell someone "I tolerate you" any more than I'd say "I like you" either.

As to the word itself, it reflects a more realistic goal in social interaction with others-especially if they don't like you personally. That they may never like you, but it's possible for them to eventually tolerate you.

Tolerance may reflect a lower expectation or standard of behavior, but that doesn't strike me as anything negative either.

 

[On the Inside]

Tolerance may reflect a lower expectation or standard of behavior, but that doesn't strike me as anything negative either.

That is a good way to look at it. In a fabrication/engineering definition it is just that, a level of expectation or standard, as needed. I guess the negative would be that anything outside of tolerance is rejected. Using it in an interpersonal way, one would tolerate a kind of behavior from a nine year old that would be intolerable from an adult. I'm sure we've all been guilty of behaving in such a way at sometime in our adult lives.