They say tomato and I say tomahto...

[Servelan]

Someone says 'hello' to me and I say 'hi' back. Is there some general rule of returning greetings, as in if they say hello, I should say hello back? I've always done this, and I'm wondering if I'm doing it wrong...

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

No you're fine, so long as it's some variation of a greeting it's appropriate.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Not as far as I'm aware. You might change your greeting to match the formality though I guess.

 

[Bellatrix]

I was expecting this to be a discussion about tomatoes. Very disappointed

 

[laurag9g9g9]

I was expecting this to be a discussion about tomatoes. Very disappointed

Hahaha[emoji23]

 

[garnetflower13]

I always wonder what to answer when somebody says "How's it going?" I get puzzled, because I don't know what "it" they are referring to...

 

[Judge]

I always wonder what to answer when somebody says "How's it going?" I get puzzled, because I don't know what "it" they are referring to...

Well, you could respond, "Don't you mean to ask where's it going?"

 

[garnetflower13]

Well, you could respond, "Don't you mean to ask where's it going?"

 

[SingaSong]

Someone says 'hello' to me and I say 'hi' back. Is there some general rule of returning greetings, as in if they say hello, I should say hello back? I've always done this, and I'm wondering if I'm doing it wrong...

I think it is fine to respond with Hi. I think it might be different if you are in a formal situation such as a business meeting, especially if you don't know the person.

 

[clg114]

I always say "Hi" back and then wonder what they meant by that.

 

[Judge]

I don't spend too much time on "hi" or "hello".

It's "How are you" that hangs me up. The first thing that always goes through my mind is determining their sincerity. It's a poor way to say hello if you really don't care in the slightest about someone's well-being, particularly if they are a complete stranger.

Or am I just being too much of an Aspie here ?

 

[paloftoon]

I don't spend too much time on "hi" or "hello".

It's "How are you" that hangs me up. The first thing that always goes through my mind is determining their sincerity. It's a poor way to say hello if you really don't care in the slightest about someone's well-being, particularly if they are a complete stranger.

Or am I just being too much of an Aspie here ?

I'd say you are doing both- you are trying to determine the sincerity and this can definitely quality as an aspie thing in my opinion. One thing I've learned the hard way is that conversation, whether casual or not, is only just that, conversation, until a person's actions show that they really care about you beyond that conversation and vice versa. If you don't know how to respond, try to let the other person say something. Try to respond casually to casual conversation, seriously to serious conversation, and if you don't know whether they are being serious or not, try asking them and also telling them that you don't like, appreciate, or respect jokes. If the person attempts to respect your request, don't get mad at them. Be glad that they are trying to respect you as a person.

The only way you know if someone is sincere is if you've developed a trust with that person. The only way you develop a trust with someone else is you and/or the other person take a risk with something basically. Calculated, educated risk are worth taking at least once in awhile. Don't feel bad if you didn't pick right. That is all a part of the "game" of life :/

 

[Judge]

I'd say you are doing both- you are trying to determine the sincerity and this can definitely quality as an aspie thing in my opinion. One thing I've learned the hard way is that conversation, whether casual or not, is only just that, conversation, until a person's actions show that they really care about you beyond that conversation and vice versa. If you don't know how to respond, try to let the other person say something. Try to respond casually to casual conversation, seriously to serious conversation, and if you don't know whether they are being serious or not, try asking them and also telling them that you don't like, appreciate, or respect jokes. If the person attempts to respect your request, don't get mad at them. Be glad that they are trying to respect you as a person.

The only way you know if someone is sincere is if you've developed a trust with that person. The only way you develop a trust with someone else is you and/or the other person take a risk with something basically. Calculated, educated risk are worth taking at least once in awhile. Don't feel bad if you didn't pick right. That is all a part of the "game" of life :/

Oh, I'm afraid you're reading far too much into what I posted. Actually I was thinking in terms of very casual meetings with people usually predicated on business transactions. Which constitutes the majority of all my real-time social interactions with people these days. Largely by choice, living in near isolation.

Corporate policies of courtesy are fine by me...but asking how I am seems a bit invasive and insincere under those circumstances. In nearly every instance I just want to conclude my business. So do the people behind me waiting in line.