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Thoroughly negative and charged echolalia.

Metalhead

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict. All for gay pride.
V.I.P Member
It seems as if my brain likes to wander towards very specific and very repetitive phrases, primarily wishing harm on many of the toxic people in my past. This is deeply embedded into my neuropathways. I want to turn them off like flipping off a light switch, because this is helping nobody. My brain is force feeding me poison and hoping it will hurt others.

Does anybody have any ideas on how to kick this out of my life. It is not the echolalia that bothers me, it is the content of the echolalia.
 
If I find myself having negative thoughts, I try to distract myself with something, preferably with a degree of physical activity, such as cooking or chopping wood. Chopping wood is great - very 'therapeutic'. Coming here actually helps, too.
 
Yes, distraction and doing something are good ideas as noted. Also making the conscious decision that wishing others harm is not what you wish to do, it's negative and it's wasting your time and energy even further on these miscreants, they do not deserve attention. Firmly saying something to that effect as you distract yourself can help.

Your revenge is your recovery, and you are acing it, and leaving those losers behind. Be very firm about it, it's your mind, and you call the shots. Begone, time wasters!
 
I know what you mean...it's almost like a habit (mine is thoughts of self harm- I don't actually want to harm myself and I'm not really at risk of doing so, but my brain repeats these things like a broken record the second I get upset).

I don't actually know how to stop this, but know you're not alone in this. And as much as it's not super fantastic, it's probably not all that harmful either, unless you're actually going to do it, so try to avoid getting worked up about the fact that it happens (that will just make it worse).
 
Read about synapses and how they operate. They are really tricky little monsters and memory is created in the brain. When my synapses lead me down a wrong path I tell them to go and ------well, you know. They are just little monsters living in their own biosphere. Make new memories to offset them. I will post a video about Evolutionary Psychology from Stanford you may like. This is part of a series which I might post the link to the playlist. Really mind-blowing

 
I think being mindful is practical. You recognize that it is unhealthy and harmful to have these thoughts, and that's great. Many people can't see that their internal dialogue is unproductive, so identification is a great initial step. Recognize that it will take time to really transform this, especially if you have been repeating these things to yourself for a while. When it occurs and you are able to catch it, try to replace it with something else. Don't give yourself a hard time about it- these feelings are defence mechanisms that are partially out of our control, though we can shift the narrative. Why are you saying these things? Identify the feeling that triggered it, analyze it, accept it, forgive yourself, and move on. Repeat as needed. Something that may be useful when you find yourself wishing others ill is to instead send the opposite energy. People hurting others is not okay, but clearly people who are toxic and hurtful are people to be pitied, because what has made them this way? Wish them well, hope that they can grow as people, and this then feeds that more positive energy back to you and conditions you to respond to anger and hurt with kindness. This is more for your own sake than for anybody else's, because as you said, at the end of the day the person you're actually hurting is yourself.
 
KagamineLen said:
Does anybody have any ideas on how to kick this out of my life. It is not the echolalia that bothers me, it is the content of the echolalia.
Click to expand...

Can you cut it off mid-sentence? That's what I've done, when it gets to be too much. Counter-arguments also work, come up with a list for each one about why the statements are wrong. Then use them. It seems to stop them from re-occurring as much.

There's also the idea of simply listening to the phrase in your mind, noting it and not having any sort of response.

Some people re-write the statements as well.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...05/steps-overcoming-your-critical-inner-voice
 
_eri_bellehumeur said:
I think being mindful is practical. You recognize that it is unhealthy and harmful to have these thoughts, and that's great. Many people can't see that their internal dialogue is unproductive, so identification is a great initial step. Recognize that it will take time to really transform this, especially if you have been repeating these things to yourself for a while. When it occurs and you are able to catch it, try to replace it with something else. Don't give yourself a hard time about it- these feelings are defence mechanisms that are partially out of our control, though we can shift the narrative. Why are you saying these things? Identify the feeling that triggered it, analyze it, accept it, forgive yourself, and move on. Repeat as needed. Something that may be useful when you find yourself wishing others ill is to instead send the opposite energy. People hurting others is not okay, but clearly people who are toxic and hurtful are people to be pitied, because what has made them this way? Wish them well, hope that they can grow as people, and this then feeds that more positive energy back to you and conditions you to respond to anger and hurt with kindness. This is more for your own sake than for anybody else's, because as you said, at the end of the day the person you're actually hurting is yourself.
Click to expand...

I want the patience to rewire my echolalia, and I want the patience for it RIGHT NOW!

I know, it does not work like that.
 
I guess it probably is also worth mentioning that I cannot remember past injustices committed against me without it feeling every bit as fresh as it was the day they happened. I feel the pain as if it all happened today.
 
I think this may be part of the way trauma gets a bit stuck, on it's way to getting processed. Therapies like EMDR and similar work by enhancing left to right connecting in the brain, which moves trauma along to get processed. Carolyn Spring, who is a trauma survivor and trainer on this area, has written a good basic booklet that tells you some ideas for using a basic understanding of how the brain works to help yourself with strategies that work to enhance brain function or just to distract it. It's called Emotional Resource Guide by Carolyn Spring. It's on Amazon I think, and on her website. It has a good basic explanation of some of how the brain works, in the section on Triggers.
 
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