Thoughts on the Netflix series "Love on the Spectrum"

[Neonatal RRT]

I started watching this series butI haven't gotten too far into it. I'm still trying to process. Like this forum, I am trying to learn how others on the spectrum interact in social situations. It's one thing to sit behind a computer screen and I get the sense that many of us are MUCH better at writing skills, than verbal. I know I am. Watching these folks and seeing the obvious awkwardness, I know part of it is the camera and the people standing there.

It's a strange thing watching these people. I ask myself "Is this how other's see me?" The folks on here come across as if they are of "below average" intelligence, but it may be just my interpretation, based upon their social and communication skills. Perhaps this is my main concern with myself. "Do those interacting with me at times get the impression that I may not be as intelligent as I know I am (I've been professionally tested)?"

I know I barely recognize videos of me. It's like this disconnect. I don't recognize my voice modulation. I don't recognize the way I act (micro expressions, body language, etc.). It's like it's a different person. I get the feeling the people around me may be dealing with a lot more than I can comprehend. I don't know. In some ways I think I am a good teacher (people have told me as much), but on the other hand, I often struggle with getting my points across to my physician colleagues. So, I often question my communication and social skills, and often wonder how I am coming across to people, especially when lives are on the line at work.

Any thoughts on this Netflix series?

 

[Darkkin]

Haven't seen the series. But being one who hates cameras of any kind, I think something like that would be colassally difficult. I also know that one of the critiques on the series was that the dating process followed NT standards. Dinner out, movie, etc. Rather than things that are more ND based, e.g. Simply hanging out in a comfortable sensory space and enjoying a common interest, like video games, a TV series, or simply comfortable silence. A form of interaction known as pebbling. Like a penguin, you share a pebble, as a sign of interest.

 

[Jordy]

People think we are entertaining to see, especially when it comes to us attempting to succeed at one of the most difficult challenges we face. i think it's obvious that in shows like these people laugh at us and not with us.

You have to be behind quite a few layers of self delusion and nativity if you think people watch that show for any reason other than to look at weird people do really weird things and laugh at it.

 

[Rasputin]

I remember watching a few episodes last year, and did not like the way people are portrayed. As I recall, the people on the show were inexperienced in relationships. If I went back 40 years or more, I probably acted the same way.

I agree with @Phantom’s comments, that this show is more to poke fun at dating on the Spectrum than it is to help people on the Spectrum.

 

[Magna]

I assume @Neonatal RRT that you're talking about the new series, the Love On The Spectrum U.S. version rather than the original version in Australia of the same name? The same producer, creator did both series from what I understand. Both series are alike in the format.

I liked both the Australian series and the U.S. series. I agree with you that it's not possible for me to discern how much of how each person appears on camera is nervous awkwardness or their actual personality when no camera is present. Steve on the U.S. version for example (who should have a career in voice over work if he doesn't already). Was he just nervous? Or, is "what you see is what you get"? I will not go as far as to rhetorically ask: Does he have a low IQ? for several reasons including the fact that I don't wish to judge anyone based on their intelligence having any bearing on whether they're a kind person, etc.

The one thing that seems to be common in the format of both series is the "likes and dislikes" for every person seem to be rather childish. "This person likes ice cream and cartoons but dislikes when people have messy hair." or something like that. I guess the likes/dislikes seems childish and shallow and perhaps feed into a stereotype.

I would still recommend both series to anyone because I think there's more good about them than not.

Also, I wonder how someone goes about getting a job as an autism life coach. I'd like to do that and both series features such a person.

 

[Jeff T]

----"Perhaps this is my main concern with myself,..."Do those interacting with me,...at times,...get the impression that I may not be as intelligent as I know I am (I've been professionally tested)?" I know I barely recognize videos of me,...it's like this disconnect,...I don't recognize my voice modulation,...I don't recognize the way I act (micro expressions, body language, etc.),...it's like it's a different person."----

I haven't seen the show, and I haven't seen any video of you.
You appear in this forum to me as a very intelligent, knowledgeable, common-sense person. You answer other people's issues with good grace and helpfulness.
I can understand the doubts you have, as I have them too, but in your case the differences may be minor?
As someone else mentioned in another thread, we are often our own worst critic?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I agree with @Phantom’s comments, that this show is more to poke fun at dating on the Spectrum than it is to help people on the Spectrum.

I was sensing a bit of this, as well,...I wasn't sure. The folks on the show, as @Magna pointed out, seemed socially immature,...almost childlike,...and yet, in specific scenes did exhibit some "above normal" level functioning. I think I may keep watching it for a while,...perhaps some voyeuristic anthropological interest,...perhaps an interest in understanding some perspective of some of my autistic brothers and sisters,...I just want to know more. I certainly hope the focus for the folks on the show was to help them,...but I think @Rasputin has a point if neurotypicals are watching and making ignorant judgments,...it's not helpful.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I had very simmilar thougths @Neonatal RRT , and flashbacks on how I acted as a teen. You can record yourself and compare with them.

People who watch this series do cry and feel emphathy with the characters. The show is no way to make fun of others. My wife was crying like the apocalipsis was comming.

I was thinking: Are people on the forum like them? Was I like them when I danced? Was I so stubborn? Was I so obsessed with things? Do I have the rigth to consider myself on the spectrum if I dont look like them?

So I guess I was trying to make a category of "how Autism looks like" from the serie. I think some of my childhood friends may have autistic traits but none of them behave in that way. So its strange for me to look the serie.

Now I have more curiosity to know some of you in real life.

 

[PastelPetals]

I have watched all three seasons (both AUS and USA) and I tend to like it overall. Yes some of it is infantilizing and it is filled for NT people mainly but I still found some comfort in it. Yes I relate more to kaelynn, lotus,kassandra, tao, and, jayden but the rest of them remind me of people I went to school with or programs with and they are real people who are the spectrum too. AUS season 2 is the best in my opinion but the us show has potential if they do what AUS did and stopped centering NT's and parents as much. Also the couple who gets married in season 2 is my favorite thing ever.

 

[Magna]

Also the couple who gets married in season 2 is my favorite thing ever.

Do you mean the Australian version? If so, yes, Jimmy and Sharnae are the best love story in my opinion.

 

[PastelPetals]

Do you mean the Australian version? If so, yes, Jimmy and Sharnae are the best love story in my opinion.

yes and I agree. Their ceremony made me cry and gave me hope for my future. They are just adorable overall though.

 

[Richelle-H]

I wish to preface my comment with this personal observation. Reality shows by their very existence manipulate both those participating and those watching. Those participating have no control over what winds up on screen, and of course the audience for these types of shows are fed what the producers and editors think will draw in the most viewers.

With that said, I do not watch reality shows very often and if I do watch an episode or two it is with the intent of finding where the bias lies, for there is always some sort of skew involved. However, I went over to Netflix and saw the show referenced in the top 10 most watched.

I looked at the descriptions of each episode and decided to instead click on the search icon. I typed in the word spectrum and hit enter.

I am always amused by the way the algorithm works and the order in which titles are presented (I cannot help being who I am ).

The thing is, it led me to an older and more representative, better rounded picture of what it is to be Aspie. The 2016 Documentary "Asperger's Are US" follows four males of various ages and levels of socialization, all on the spectrum, who are preparing for a farewell performance of their comedy troop. It deserves a wider audience than it probably got even though it was produced by the Duplass Brothers. I know I was unaware of it until now.

I'll quit pontificating now.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Thanks, I will see it if it is on my Netflix.

 

[Magna]

I wish to preface my comment with this personal observation. Reality shows by their very existence manipulate both those participating and those watching. Those participating have no control over what winds up on screen, and of course the audience for these types of shows are fed what the producers and editors think will draw in the most viewers.

With that said, I do not watch reality shows very often and if I do watch an episode or two it is with the intent of finding where the bias lies, for there is always some sort of skew involved. However, I went over to Netflix and saw the show referenced in the top 10 most watched.

I looked at the descriptions of each episode and decided to instead click on the search icon. I typed in the word spectrum and hit enter.

I am always amused by the way the algorithm works and the order in which titles are presented (I cannot help being who I am ).

The thing is, it led me to an older and more representative, better rounded picture of what it is to be Aspie. The 2016 Documentary "Asperger's Are US" follows four males of various ages and levels of socialization, all on the spectrum, who are preparing for a farewell performance of their comedy troop. It deserves a wider audience than it probably got even though it was produced by the Duplass Brothers. I know I was unaware of it until now.

I'll quit pontificating now.

I agree Asperger's Are Us is worth watching.

Like with many other things, we're living in a time now that we've literally never lived in before: a time where actual autistic people and actual autistic actors are portraying themselves or are portraying autistic characters more often.

I've said before, if there was an actual Autism Channel with 24/7 autism related content, it would be what I'd watch more than anything because I'm more interested in that than most other things.

I agree that an NT produced film or TV show with an NT actor or NT actors portraying autistic characters can negatively impact positive or fair autism awareness. There are a few examples in my opinion in which they're very successful and great. The film Snow Cake (2006) for example. Or the film Please Stand By (2017). But I digress.

Even though overall I didn't like the series Atypical and since other better series have come out (e.g. As We See It) I like it even less, the 2nd & 3rd Seasons of Atypical featured actual autistic actors who played members of the main character's support group. I literally re-watched each of the short support group scenes in each episode that had such scenes twenty times or more and I kept going back to them because I loved the autistic characters played by autistic actors so much. I even played those scenes (not the whole episodes) multiple times for my family and kids.

My point is that I ask myself the following:

• Do I want to see either "perfect" or ideal TV/Film offerings related to autism that "check all the right boxes" and none of the "wrong boxes" and if they do not, then instead only have the option to see TV/Film offerings that are 100% NT with zero autism related content? < Either/Or, Black or White.
• Or, do I want to see as much TV/Film offerings related to autism as possible, great, good, mediocre or bad in a time where more and more autistic actors are contributing to such content and in a time when social media, etc allows for public comment and feedback that can help make things better in the long run?

I choose the second option, hands down.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I started watching this series butI haven't gotten too far into it. I'm still trying to process. Like this forum, I am trying to learn how others on the spectrum interact in social situations. It's one thing to sit behind a computer screen and I get the sense that many of us are MUCH better at writing skills, than verbal. I know I am. Watching these folks and seeing the obvious awkwardness, I know part of it is the camera and the people standing there.

It's a strange thing watching these people. I ask myself "Is this how other's see me?" The folks on here come across as if they are of "below average" intelligence, but it may be just my interpretation, based upon their social and communication skills. Perhaps this is my main concern with myself. "Do those interacting with me at times get the impression that I may not be as intelligent as I know I am (I've been professionally tested)?"

I know I barely recognize videos of me. It's like this disconnect. I don't recognize my voice modulation. I don't recognize the way I act (micro expressions, body language, etc.). It's like it's a different person. I get the feeling the people around me may be dealing with a lot more than I can comprehend. I don't know. In some ways I think I am a good teacher (people have told me as much), but on the other hand, I often struggle with getting my points across to my physician colleagues. So, I often question my communication and social skills, and often wonder how I am coming across to people, especially when lives are on the line at work.

Any thoughts on this Netflix series?

Thinking about Steve Spitz makes me depressed and sad and also mad and resentful, due to what I heard disclosed about him.